The Daily Tonic: Ushered Out

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* Jagger’s courtesy car!

* The glare of Ranzten!

* PLUS: Your Friday audio round…

>> Nighy time <<

Further adventures of Bill

In yesterday’s newsletter we had a nice little story about Bill Nighy helping a reader locate the disposable fork in their Tesco pasta salad, before wishing them ‘Bon appetit!’ A lot of you found it rather endearing, so here’s another.
A few years ago, Bill Nighy had an appointment at the Radio 2 studios. He walked into Wogan House, introduced himself at reception and was invited to take a seat.
“No thanks,” he said to the receptionist. “I’m just going to stand here and stare at people.”
No sarcasm. No malice. Just Bill Nighy, being Bill Nighy.

More sly celebrity artists: Andrew Marr – who appears to have created a ‘Brexit’ collection [See his gallery]

>> Crib notes <<

Question of the day

Thanks once again for all your stories of celebrity mistaken identity. There’s a couple more we’ll share over the coming days, but yesterday’s tale about attending a party with Myleene Klass got us thinking.
Today’s Question: Have you ever been to celeb’s house? If so: whose, what was it like – and what did you get up to there?
Send your stories to hello@popbitch.com and we’ll give some Popbitch goodies out to the best.

Happy birthday, Steven Seagal! Legend has it Seagal used to brag his martial arts training made him immune to choking. When put to the test on the set of Out Of Justice however, the movie’s stunt director choked Seagal so hard and so fast that he accidentally crapped himself.

>> U remind me <<

#1: A funny little singer

LP writes:

“A few years ago I lived in LA and managed to get into Soho House there on my old membership. Like any true Brit in the sun, I got pretty drunk and was having a lot of fun when a guy about four or five tables away heard my British accent, came over and asked if he could hang out with me and my friend.
“After a lot of joking around, story-telling and drinks, he said he had to get back to his friend but that we should all hang out again so I gave him my number. As he left I introduced myself and asked his name. He responded ‘Usher’. I said that must be really unfortunate as there is a funny little singer with the same name.
“As you can guess, it was Usher. I only realised when I saw him leave with Lady Gaga.”

fayekorgazm writes: “A few years ago a friend of mine was trying to chat up Graham Norton at some event and wasn’t getting anywhere with him, despite being overly touchy-feely. Turned out it wasn’t Graham, but Ardal O’Hanlon.”

>> Detective skills <<

#2: The enviable fame of authors

Gron51 writes:

“A few years ago a friend and I were having a quiet pint or two in the Ox (Oxford Bar) in Edinburgh, famed for its starring role in all of the Rebus detective novels by Ian Rankin.
“As is usual, a group of fans on a guide-led tour of Rebus’s Edinburgh trooped in for half pints in the hallowed hall and were given the well-worn stories. They finished quickly and were going off to the next landmark when the door opened and four middle-aged gents entered.
“One of the gents obligingly, and with a smile, held the door as they left. The totally unrecognised Ian Rankin.”

TW writes: “At the security queue in Heathrow a colleague and I spotted who we thought was Jenson Button, so made car noises while pretending with steering wheel hands. He didn’t look impressed at all. When we got closer it was Chris Martin.”

>> Model behaviour <<

#3: What a gem

maxharrisproject writes:

“I attended Kate Moss’s wedding party on the Saturday night. Around 7am Sunday morning, as I was trying to get my shit together for a flight to Vienna that afternoon, I collared a maid and asked her to please sort me a cab, etc.
“This was done instantly and as I was led out to my car, I thanked her for being so prompt and efficient. As I got in, I asked her name so I could thank her properly. ‘It’s Jade’ she said.
“It was many hours later that I realised I’d been expertly dealt with by… Jade Jagger”

AB writes: “I was working on an early morning programme and had Esther Rantzen as a guest. I told her it was nice to see her and that someone I know had worked with her on Watchdog. The look of DEATH she gave me as she told me she’d never worked on the programme and I had, of course, mistaken her for Anne Robinson.”

>> Quarantunes <<

Maths v Music

Here’s a new audio round for you. Ten songs, twenty points – one for each artist, one for each song title.
The only clue we’ll give: the total is 1,278.
[Here you go]

Finally! Something other than that fucking Puzzlebook to plug! We’ve put together a full-length, downloadable Easter Weekend edition of the Popbitch Popquiz for you and your loved ones to play at home. Just a fiver, you get the whole lot. Trivia, audio, picture rounds, a wordsearch and more.

[Get your copy here]

>> Hmmms <<

Some Friday afternoon filler

Dr Dre x Dr Seuss

[Green Eggs And H.A.M.]
Justin Trudeau’s new single sounds good

[Speaking Moistly]
The new Aces track is a shimmery summer delight

[Lost Angeles]

THANKS TO: Gron51, CT, fayekorgasm, TW, LP, monstris, wienerbalcony, GP

Old Jokes Home

Q/ Why didn’t the hipster have a jacket?

A/ He went outside before it was cool

Fancy Another?