The Daily Tonic: Welcome To The Club

POPBITCH POPQUIZ: The Teal Edition

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* Keith Flint’s green fingers!

* Nicholas Parsons’ blue mouth!

* PLUS: Some more Cilla…

>> Pint club <<

Sam, Shane – now Chantelle

The story about Max Clifford and Chantelle Houghton in yesterday’s mailout reminded one reader of a girls’ weekend they had in Marbella in 2010. They were out one night, queuing to get into a bar, when a car pulled up next to them and out stepped an extremely glamorous looking Chantelle Houghton.
A picture of class and sophistication that lasted all of one second, before she opened her mouth and said: “I’d like a pint, o wiiiiiiiinnnnnne”
Welcome to the club, Chantelle.

One of the better interactions to come out of yesterday’s Twitter deluge of mundane celebrity run-ins. [Chris Waddle]

>> Purse first <<

Question of the day

Thanks for all your stories of mismatched celeb personas. It’s been fascinating to hear them and we’ve included a couple below. (There’ll be more to come.)
Today though, in honour of Chantelle’s “pint o wiiiinnne” arrival, we want to know which celebrities you’ve seen making a particularly grand entrance – or exit…
Send your tales of superstars announcing themselves in their own unique way to hello@popbitch.com and we’ll dish out some goodies to our favourites.

Iceland’s dashed Eurovision hopeful, Daði Freyr, is live-streaming a gig of Eurovision classics tonight. [Here]

>> Black cab <<

Tip of the nice-berg

D writes:

“I once got into a cab that Cilla had just got out of at the Groucho Club. The cab was filled with her (nice) perfume. The taxi driver was in a high state of excitement. ‘Is she a good tipper?’ I asked. ‘That is between me and Cilla’ he said, ‘I would never divulge.’
“At the end of my journey I handed him a tenner and told him to keep the change. ‘Thank you! You’re a much better tipper than Cilla.’ I had tipped him 60p.”

C writes: “I worked as a page/tour guide at NBC in New York in the mid-80s. Shock jock Howard Stern (who was on NBC radio at the time) would insult us on the air, then silently slip us each a $20 while mouthing ‘Sorry!'”

>> Always outslugged <<

Green hair, green fingers

MB writes:

“In response to your request about celebs being the exact opposite of their public persona, Keith Flint was the sweetest bloke. Every time we met, he would shyly – almost respectfully – ask me about the best way to sort out his slug problem, or why his runner beans weren’t growing and what temperature should he keep his greenhouse at this time of year.
“I didn’t have the heart to tell him he must have me mixed up with someone he’d met previously who actually was a gardener and I knew nothing about the subject, so would just make stuff up and he’d sit there nodding, taking it all in.”

JA writes: “I once worked in a bookshop in London that was closing. During the closing down sale Dylan Moran came in and was genuinely sad for us. He asked us all if we’d be OK and if we had other jobs to go to. He was lovely.”

>> Parsons mean <<

Say what you C-word

unpeeled writes:

“I once had to escort Nicholas Parsons to a local newspaper competition winner thing. Nicholas was as charming and urbane as you’d expect all the way through Croydon’s Whitgift Shopping Centre, but as soon as we were in the lift going up to the function he enthusiastically began a hyphenated swearing rant on how godawful Croydon and its inhabitants were.
“The lift doors opened onto the room as the C-word was being deployed, but Nicholas just looked back at me and said ‘And that is why I never use the word’ and pressed forward to press the flesh.”

O writes: “Did you know Vincent Price once made a collection of recipes as an audiobook? They were on 33½ records, and a few of them are still around on the internet, narrated in his own unique way.” [Hear some here]

>> Quarantunes <<

Sweet but Syco

Today’s audio round is themed. Each of them is a record that Simon Cowell has been responsible for unleashing on the world.
You get a point for recognising the artist and a point for identifying the song. Ten songs, twenty points in total.
[Best of luck…]

If you’re in need of stuff to do with friends, colleagues or family over Zoom, the Popbitch Popquiz now comes in many different varieties. Each coloured edition contains all the questions, answers, worksheets, puzzle pages and files that you’ll need to host your very own version. So try it out…

[Bundles and individual packs available]

>> Hmmms <<

A couple of quick things

Local News Of The Week: Abandoned Sex Hut Edition

[See on Lincolnshire Live]
A J-pop style remix of Windows error noises

[Hear on YouTube]
Pizza & Co, Longlands have an unfortunate URL

[pizzaandcolonglands.co.uk]

Thanks to: TF, GC, MC, CE, unpeeled, DJ, MG, AWM, O, JA, RL

RIP: Ade the Trade – tell Lemmy hello from us

Old Jokes Home

Did you hear about the perverted statistician?

The standard deviation wasn’t enough for him.

Fancy Another?