The Daily Tonic: Wild Wood

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* Curtsying for Cindy Beale

* Paul Weller’s mucky book club

* PLUS: Your 185th audio round

>> Irons curtain <<

Jeremy v John le Carr

As well as being one of the most admired novelists of the modern age, John Le Carré was also the holder of one of the greatest celebrity grudges of all time.
When his novel The Russia House was being adapted for the big screen, le Carré blackballed the casting of Jeremy Irons in the lead role. Not because he didn’t think Irons looked the part or wasn’t capable of capturing the essence of the role. It was because he claimed that Irons’ dogs had terrorised his own dogs while out in the park one day and Irons had never apologised for it.
So Sean Connery got the role instead.

John le Carré claimed that he took cocaine once in his life and it gave him a “troublingly long-term erection”.

>> Novel ideas <<

Question of the day

All the talk today of le Carré’s experience at MI5/MI6 informing his work has got us thinking about how many celebrity authors have used thinly-veiled versions of their own lives to form the basis of their books too.
Today’s Question: Which celebrity novels have been particularly unsubtle or unimaginative in their setting, with the superstar author using “fiction” to settle real-life scores, flatter their ego or live out an obvious personal fantasy?
If you have any good examples of it, send us a note to hello@popbitch.com and we’ll dish out some goodies to our favourites.

Weirdest fact we learned in June, pt.I: Bobby Farrell of Boney M died on the same day and in the same city as Rasputin, who the band famously sang about.

>> Lady Beale <<

Curtsying to Collins

It’s a shame they’ve already cast Diana for the final two seasons of The Crown. After hearing this story from a reader in June, things could have been so different.
S writes: 

“When I was a teacher, we had a vote amongst the children who they would like to open our new Early Years Unit. It being about 1993, the children voted in droves for Mr Blobby. Unfortunately we had a very limited budget and discovered that Mr Blobby was astronomically expensive. Instead we were offered Michelle Collins of EastEnders for a fraction of the cost.
“We couldn’t have chosen a better celebrity. She was really amazing, wonderful with the children and didn’t decline one photo opportunity or request for an autograph. Everyone loved her.
“What surprised us after the event was that quite a few of the parents actually thought she was Princess Diana. I don’t know whether Michelle realised this but it did solve the mystery why she was faced with a few dodgy curtsies and bows.”

Weirdest fact we learned in June, pt.II: Ronnie Kray once rang The Sun’s Bizarre desk, from Broadmoor, asking for a copy of The Locomotion by Kylie Minogue.

>> Wild wood <<

Paul Weller’s book club

SB writes:

“Back in 2000, I worked at the now-closed Books Etc in the Whiteley’s shopping centre in Bayswater. One busy afternoon while I was head down, working the register, someone threw five copies of ‘The Multi-Orgasmic Man’ on the desk. I looked up and the person in front of me said ‘Yeah, I am Paul Weller… and yeah, it fucking works.’
“I asked him why he needed five copies and he said they were for friends — but he left me one. ‘Try it,’ he called behind him as he walked out. ‘It really fucking works!’
“I was in my mid-20s at the time, so I didn’t need to worry about that — I returned it and got the refund.”

One of the few statues to survive the Great Tumbling of June 2020: Budapest’s statue of Peter Falk, dressed in full Columbo gear. (He’s supposedly related to 19th century Hungarian political figure, Miksa Falk.)

>> Out of order <<

Gassing the godfather of soul

We didn’t get festival season this June, thanks to Covid – but that didn’t stop us from reminiscing about some other fun stories of festivals gone by.
When James Brown appeared at T In The Park, he had the misfortune of following New Order’s Bernard Sumner into the portaloos. After making a particularly ripe deposit, Sumner was keen to escape unseen but bumped into James as he was vacating the loo – and was still within earshot when Brown locked the door and let out a muffled “Good GOD!”

S writes: “I worked a few backstage bars at Glastonbury. One year a friend of mine stopped Nigel Kennedy eating grass (the lawn variety) off his head on ketamine.”

>> Quaratunes <<

#185: June No.1s

If you’ve played every single one of these 185 audio rounds since The Daily Tonic started back in March, then you have spent over seven and a half hours of 2020 – nearly a full working day – guessing at the titles of pop songs.
If you haven’t (but for some reason want to) then you can catch up on them all here.
Otherwise, today’s is made up of ten songs that were UK No.1 hits in June at some point over the last 50 years. A point for each correct title, a point for each correct artist.
[Twenty points total]

If you’re wanting a slightly more substantial quiz fix, we’ve put together a downloadable Popbitch Popquiz Puzzlebook that is filled with quizzes, puzzles and activities designed to be completed in quarantine…

[It’s yours for a fiver]

>> Hmmms <<

A couple of quick things

Take a virtual drive around a city while listening to its local radio station

[Drive & Listen]
Toto’s Africa played on Tesla coils

[Watch on YouTube]
Haddaway, arranged for lute

[Another medieval cover]
A Simon Cowell Choose Your Own Adventure game

[Play on Twitter]

Thanks to: MJ, ay_ay, A, S, S, SB

Old Jokes Home

Q/ What do King Arthur, Leslie Grantham and Jason Manford have in common?

A/ They all liked cam a lot

Fancy Another?