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Yew.S.A! Yew.S.A!

 

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“If another cunt calls me ‘The Firestarter’ I’ll stab him in the fucking throat” – Keith Flint
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* Dropping off with Danny Glover!
* Trouser wrestling with Netanyahu!
* PLUS: Farewell to Keith Flint…
>> Trading places <<
Popbitch is on the move
 

We’re in the middle of moving offices this week, so most of Popbitch HQ is currently getting stuffed into boxes or being stored under the desks of various friends around Soho.

We’ll be back to normal next week. In the meantime though, here’s a couple of things to tide you over.

Scandi word of the week: Bagstiv – a Danish word for waking up still drunk. Literally “backwards-drunk”.
>> Yew.S.A <<
Playtime’s over
 

With the second part of Leaving Neverland due to be broadcast tonight and R Kelly melting down in a TV interview this week, it looks as though America might be on the verge of having its own Yewtree moment.

Much like the UK original, it too has been spawned out of a critical re-evaluation of a once-beloved entertainer: one who went out of his way to surround himself with children, showing them a world of luxury, granting all of their wishes – all as a way to hide in plain sight.

But the most interesting part of Yewtree UK was when Max Clifford got collared. A man who was infamous for knowing where everyone’s skeletons were buried; a man who had pulled favours for almost every power-player in the game. The idea of someone like Clifford getting turned over by the police really sent shivers down the spines of many of the rich and powerful.

The closest parallel in America’s instance is likely to be the infamous billionaire and convicted sex offender, Jeffrey Epstein. Oddly enough, the US Department Of Justice has just announced that it is going to be opening a new investigation into aspects of the handling of Epstein’s case – and both sides appear eager to unseal previously sealed court documents, both believing that they contain conclusive proof that will vindicate their respective clients.

Given that Epstein has some awkward ties to both the British Royal family and multiple White House administrations, another huge reckoning might soon be at hand…

Michael Jackson, looking on from the afterlife, will no doubt be delighted to see Roxanne Pallett has chosen to make her return to social media, breaking her silence specifically to defend his honour.
>> Big Questions <<
Who’s been ploughing new furrows?
 

Which two Tory Brexiteer MPs have been hard at it in recent weeks, working late into the night together in order to reach some sort of satisfactory withdrawal that is ultimately pleasing for both parties?

(They’ve also been shagging up quite a storm on the side too…)

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[Sign up at Thinking Slimmer]
>> Fired up <<
Wanna be starting something?
 

DJ writes:
“In the mid 90s I was a camera assistant on a shoot in Liverpool for the now-successful director Terry McDonough (The Street, Breaking Bad etc).

“One day, between setups, the crew were walking through a shopping centre and we travelled up an escalator that Keith Flint was coming down the other side. Terry shouted ‘Oh, look! Matey boy here thinks he’s the Firestarter!’ and everybody pissed themselves.

“The look on Keith’s face as he stared at me – the youngest of the crew – with real pain in his eyes was truly haunting. It was as if he was begging me to tell them that it was him.

“Sorry, Keith. I knew it was you but I was overwhelmed by having blagged a job that I was completely out of my depth with and I should have said something.”

Weird Al Yankovic was unable to record a full parody version of Firestarter for his old TV show because CBS didn’t want to have to pay The Prodigy any royalties.
>> Perry nice <<
One way to keep stiff
 

Someone who interviewed Luke Perry back in the early ’00s got to asking him about his outlook on life, on 90210 and all the glory that it brought him, when Luke started talking about the importance of sit-ups and how they train you to have good posture.

He then tried to make a complicated metaphorical statement about theatre (possibly in reference to When Harry Met Sally?) but what he ended up saying to the journalist in question was: “I’d love to still be erect as an old person. That’s why I do this kind of work.”

According to a Daily Beast piece this week, AMI Chief David Pecker’s most loyal employees at his previous job were known within the company as ‘The Peckerheads’.
>> Nappers delight <<
All the snooze that’s fit to print
 

Last week, it was Karl Lagerfeld. Before that, it was Mos Def (who we told you a few years back was constantly falling asleep between shots on the set of Hitchhiker’s Guide, only to spring to life the second that Garth Jennings yelled “Action!” and give a line-perfect take).

Now we can add Danny Glover to our list of known celebrity narcoleptics.

A young journalist not long out of university was sent to interview Glover in a London hotel and had barely started when Danny said, “Excuse me, I gotta sleep,” and lay down on the hotel room carpet. There, he took a nap – for half an hour or so.

A couple of PR aides in the room whispered to her that he often did that, that it was nothing personal. So she stayed silent for 30 minutes before he woke up and said “Now, where were we?”

Ever had a star drop off on you? hello@popbitch.com

Popbitch will be at Cheltenham Festival next week. If you’d like to get a bonus daily mailout of news, tips and gossip from the UK’s biggest horse racing meet, sign up for our special Popbets mailout.
[Sign up here if you want extras]
>> Water palaver <<
A refreshing new act
 

Last weekend, Iceland voted to send leather-clad BDSM electro-glitch growlers Hatari to Eurovision in May and the boys look set to cause pandemonium there.

They’ve already issued a challenge to Benjamin Netanyahu, asking him to a traditional Icelandic trouser wrestling match in Tel Aviv’s Magen David Square – with the promise that they’ll hand over the Icelandic municipality of Vestmannaeyjar to the Israeli government if they lose.

Eurovision officials can usually let publicity stunts like that slide, but they may be compelled to intervene in their latest political prank.

You may know that SodaStream has long been a target of boycott campaigns for having operated a factory in the West Bank. Well, Hatari have just announced that they are moving into the water business themselves and will be appearing at this year’s Eurovision as ambassadors for their brand new, not-at-all-contentious beverage venture… SodaDream!

Kids in Iceland are really getting into dressing up as Hatari – making their own spiky fetish gear at home.
>> Portuguese tease <<
Anatomy lessons on morning TV
 

Iceland aren’t the only ones pissing about and causing chaos with Eurovision. Portugal’s hopeful, Conan Osiris, went on morning TV there (the Portuguese equivalent of Good Morning Britain) to perform a rather fruity reworking of his song on air.

At the end of the track, he and his guitarist went a little off-script, adding a previously unheard coda to the song which was just them singing a single line over and over again in a jaunty, singalong style.

A line we’re told roughly translates as: “The clitoris is the only part of a woman’s body that was designed to give pleasure.”

Disappointed to hear that Liam Fox wasted £100,000 on a podcast. Nick Clegg made his Carly Rae Jepsen parody video for £8,000. He could have done a whole visual album for E•MO•TION with that sort of money.
>> Bed spread <<
Cupid strikes the Castle
 

A few weeks ago we mentioned that ex-News Of The World hack Paul McMullan is currently trying to crowdfund an insider exposé on the boss that he used to email drunken love poetry to, Rebekah Brooks.

McMullan has since been in touch to tell us (and we quote) “We were going out on a date for Valentines but then she told me she doesn’t do it up the bum so I left it.”

Charming though that sounds, we wonder if Rebekah wasn’t simply trying to find a way to wriggle out of it? From the state of the TripAdvisor reviews written by people who’ve visited Paul’s pub-hostel, it’s clear that the overnight accommodation he had to offer Ms Brooks wouldn’t have been up to her usual standards…

[See The Castle’s reviews]

Media Masters: Martin Brunt, Crime Correspondent, Sky News. As police numbers are a hot topic this week, Martin discusses the relationship between the press and police, how it has changed over the last 30 years – and much more besides…
[Listen/Download at Media Masters]
>> Hmmms <<
Manson, Hirst, Jepsen
 

Did anyone pull James Blunt in the ‘Best Keith Flint Tribute’ sweepstakes?
[Read on Twitter]

A Carly Rae Jepsen-themed table-top RPG
[Get ‘Boy Problems’]

Interesting piece on bullshit in biopic movies
[Read on Pitchfork]

Damien Hirst’s new hotel suite looks like a mid-90s headache
[Brace yourself]

The Anish Kapoor colour copyright feud is kicking off again
[See on Kickstarter]

How to fillet a giant squid
[A step-by-step guide]

Marilyn Manson’s old house is for sale
[See on Zillow]

One of the actors from The Crown also reviews highchairs online…
[Read on Made For Mums]

Thanks to: AD, NB, DJ, J, bad_horsey, BLK, SR, ulysses, SW
Old Jokes Home
I’ve been asked to lead the singing at Keith Flint’s funeral.
I’m a choir starter.

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[Follow @popbitch]

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