Stories

Wired For Soundbites

There’s not much that can prepare you for a Yewtree police raid so, when it happens, your best bet is to bring in the professionals. Cliff Richard hired crisis management experts to help prepare him for his first post-raid interviews in 2014 – but he appears to have forgotten some of their sensible advice in the years since. So maybe a little refresher is in order?

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III/ Max Factor

And what of Max Clifford, the famed PR mastermind who failed to protect his own reputation? How could someone so ruthlessly committed to burying bad news, who spent his entire career making problems like this disappear, end up dying in such disgrace in prison? In more ways than one, he only had himself to blame…

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II/ Defective Inspector

Before he signed on with Simon Cowell to make The Investigator, Mark Williams-Thomas was best known as the man who took down Jimmy Savile. Initially it brought him all the attention he could have hoped for – but, as he’s been finding out this year, not all attention is good attention…

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I/ Arrest & Repertoire

For a man who has enjoyed as much success as he has, Simon Cowell has made some astonishingly bad decisions in his career. But even worse than the acts that he’s chosen to sign? The men he’s chosen to do business with…

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Syco Paths

One of Simon Cowell’s most recent productions is a true-crime series hosted by the ex-police officer best known for taking down Jimmy Savile, Mark Williams-Thomas. They’re hardly the Watson and Holmes of our day, but their true-crime series The Investigator is interesting stuff. Not because of what it covers, necessarily – but because of how it came about…

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After The Storm

Whatever Channel 5 had planned when they sketched out plans for a Celebrity Big Brother series with Stormy Daniels, they probably didn’t imagine it would ever lead to them accidentally rehabilitating the career of a prolific workplace sex-pest. Yet that is exactly what came to pass. So the question remains: what the fuck were they thinking?

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The Biggest Question

Just when you think American politics couldn’t get any weirder, someone goes and busts out the Bigfoot erotica. Virginian Republican candidate for Congress, Denver Riggleman, has been uncovered as the artist behind some rather detailed Bigfoot dickpics. It prompts all sorts of questions, but our primary one has so far gone unanswered: What is up with Bigfoot’s dick?

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Who Did It Worst?

After months of stories about him running sex cults in Chicago and Atlanta, R Kelly has responded to the allegations in the most R Kelly way possible: by releasing a 19-minute ‘confessional’ track called I Admit. But how does it hold up against the current king of tone-deaf, shameless semi-fictional confessions: (If) I Did It by OJ Simpson?

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Lit Wank

Leslie Grantham – actor, murderer and webcam sexface nightmare – is the latest celebrity star to turn his hand to fiction writing. He has written a multi-book series about a young boy who finds himself involved in the world of wizardry. If that sounds too familiar, don’t worry. He’s given it a rather personal touch…

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IV/ Strike Three

InfoWars conspiracy theorist Alex Jones has a long and inglorious history of branding school shootings as staged hoaxes – but this time around the view that the kids at the centre of it are deep state stooges isn’t just a crazed fringe opinion. It’s started going mainstream…

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