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Stranger than fiction

Pleased to meet you Terminalnoob. Possibly a bit fruity for a hot Friday afternoon's messageboard but stay in touch. (-ED)

terminalnoob 19:19, reply

That's brave for a first post

Congratulations.

roger_mycock 11:19, reply

Love the fact

That bribing someone in Rochdale consists of offering them a GBP25000 a year job. Does GBP1500 a month after tax really make someone an elligible batchelor up North?

soapy_handerton 11:48, reply

A Northerner responds:

Yes.

humphrey_plugg 13:08, reply

*sells London mansion*

who am I kidding

*asks McDonalds area manager for a transfer up North*

soapy_handerton 16:58, reply

Hi Lord Janner

Nice to see you're feeling better!

thegingerprince 7:05, reply

Take The Strain

Phill Jupitus on the 1130 from Edinburgh to Kings X. He at least has the good manners to make his phonecalls in the vestibule end, so only those taking a dump have to hear about the unutterably tripe panel show he'll no doubt appear on soon.

drunken_boht 11:15, reply

He will probably login to Arf this post,

as you spelt his forename correctly. He's ^so^ catty about that.

fayekorgazm 13:38, reply

new here, eh?

do you know what wendy james is up to these days?

__________ 20:49, reply

Wendy is from Ringmer

Famous for her, Jim Callaghan living there, and the epic firework factory fire of 96

soapy_handerton 17:11, reply

Is this about The Darkness?

mr_david 21:59, reply

Emily Davies

their short lived replacement drummer is the daughter of Phil Davies, the producer of Peppa Pig

clinton 10:49, reply

Ed was one of the last people to know he had been sacked.

He was kept in the darkness.

shagpile_perm 8:46, reply

Beer Can

downtownmanagua 10:28, reply

And rumour has it that he was driving his white Fiat Uno in Paris on 31 August 1997.

plasticflamingo 7:49, reply

Jessica Hynes hates gays

edmor 8:11, reply

Neil Pearson

demonstrates his favourite fanny diddling technique to Nick Clegg.

mike_hunt 7:27, reply

I want one of those Andrew Neil masks, they're brilliant.

And would it kill Lord Moonface to wear a tie?

deep_stoat 13:17, reply

Touching that Mick Hucknall stopped by

with him being so recently released from the burns unit

pink_oboe 13:37, reply

SweetJeezus...

pigcity 16:03, reply

like 10-day-old used johnnies

thatevilwoman 18:50, reply

like christmas balloons in february

__________ 11:19, reply

a couple of nasty Toris

thatevilwoman 9:57, reply

Betty Boo's let herself go.

deep_stoat 9:58, reply

hahaha superb

thatevilwoman 10:48, reply

"tits"

pink_oboe 10:59, reply

She's the MP for Suffolk Coastal and it's a little known fact that she won Best In Breed at the Suffolk Show a few years ago.

humphrey_plugg 13:11, reply

Churchill would be offended

thatevilwoman 16:21, reply

The very image of

'Casting Churchill's Reflection', right there.

hack_daniels 6:54, reply

As would most other financial services gonks

Brian the robot has been throwing up battery acid, and that fucking meerkat has developed a facial tic to rival Harry Redknapp.

spank_daley 16:54, reply

Val Doonigone

bogarts_lung 9:32, reply

John Noakes and Val Doonican

both off their rockers. the 70s seems so long ago.

thegingerprince 12:57, reply

His last words as he fell from the chair were

I'm a gonorrhoea.

mike_hunt 10:44, reply

*hums Paddy McGinty's Croaked*

humphrey_plugg 11:05, reply

*hums Robert de Niro's waiting*

deep_stoat 12:04, reply

...a slightly distorted guitar...

mrsix 7:11, reply

Kiss FMs new free magazine

Which is launching soon appears to be aimed at 17 year olds reading the initial copy ideas

indiana 21:24, reply

news just in

tampax appears to be aimed at women.

__________ 8:38, reply

pfft!

thegingerprince 10:13, reply

with make-up

thatevilwoman 18:51, reply

arch_crippledick 16:46, reply

I *heart* the Shamen.

deep_stoat 10:53, reply

Phil Spector had a nickname for his gun?

Who knew.

spank_daley 15:06, reply

Now you tell me.

deep_stoat 9:26, reply

Pot calling the kettle fat

The DM seems to be on a mission to point out how portly Liam Gallagher is nowadays. I wonder if it could have anything to do with him having called a senior member of their showbiz team 'A fat ****' to their face a few years ago. Heck, a list of the people he's abused for being overweight would include several band mates, a few family members, Peter Kay, Wayne Rooney, a couple of ex wives, a few Spice Girls, Dale Winton, an ex manager, and the panel of Loose Women. Robbie must be enjoying this...

soapy_handerton 19:51, reply

RIP Kauto Star

From pedigree racehorse to pedigree chum

sausagesandplantsandgoldfish 17:04, reply

Dynasty spot

Co-founder of shit posh kebabs chain Leon, sometime TV chef and young lion of the clan, Henry Dimbleby in Iberica tapas restaurant this lunchtime. IDNSHC, but if the girth of his head is anything to go by it would bring Roy Castle and both McWhirter brothers back from the dead.

spank_daley 16:53, reply

3.10 Uttoxeter to GBP3.10 Uhu

arch_crippledick 19:17, reply

Not now Kauto, you foal!

sausagesandplantsandgoldfish 20:46, reply

Kauto lives!

humphrey_plugg 22:55, reply

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