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We're under attack.

If you've had trouble posting recently then don't worry, you're not alone, but we know why. It would appear to be the fault of some people in China spamming the board and trying to post (I kid you not) Lou Bega MP3s at a rate of 270000 an hour. So the board is going to shut down later today for a bit of weasel work but it'll be back up asap. In the meantime there's always this

deep_stoat 9:30, reply

and the horse you rode in on....

mrsix 22:12, reply

The mighty Bush 56 today

edmor 20:35, reply


__________ 8:01, reply

Waist ruined by dildo icecream.

Speaking of nips, where is the original KB pic I uploaded?

edmor 8:31, reply

Carefully positioned in my bathroom

majicman 22:53, reply

that's definitely a real ad for a real product

those crazy foreigns!

pauly 9:17, reply

FOF used the toilets in the bar of an upmarket hotel in Canada.

He was a little surprised to find they were unisex but was settling down in a cubicle for a posh piss when he was interrupted by elephantine farting from the next cubicle followed by proper pebble dashing of the toilet. When he heard the bolt go back he had to peek round his door to see who could have made such an incredible noise - of course, it had to be, Gloria Hunniford.

deep_stoat 14:39, reply

My wife had a similar thing happen to her.

But on this occasion, it was a rather 'refreshed' Honor Blackman who appeared from the cubicle

mister_groping 8:01, reply

a few years back my ex interviewed gloria

and the conversation inevitably led to discussing how she'd coped with the death of her daughter. by the end of it my ex was a blubbering mess and hugely embarrassed to be in such a state, but said gloria was wonderfully understanding and really lovely about it. So, although she might occasionally blow some serious mud, she's generally very nice

car_snow_gin 15:04, reply


#You never miss

#With a sit-down piss

thebestnameshavegone 14:42, reply

Oh you can.

deep_stoat 14:57, reply

Seven years dead

thebestnameshavegone 15:06, reply


And look at all those posters/lurkers who are no longer posting. Not like it was, once was fields, corn laws, woooosh

chestrockwell 16:01, reply

Different death pool

Quite a few have gone to pastures new

powermaster 6:41, reply

Do you mean bob pitch?

(is bob pitch still going, BTW?)

hack_daniels 7:26, reply

Plan C...

Head over to Amazon to pick up that iTunes exclusive...

neville_bartos 15:45, reply

It's no Dungen.

hack_daniels 17:20, reply

Who needs this

When you've got Skinnyman's Council Estate of Mind?

soapy_handerton 21:33, reply

the 'buy an add' thing!

haha! been literally days since someone posted that

car_snow_gin 17:15, reply

Lighten up chuckles

mrs_ivy_trellis 17:26, reply

car_snow_gin 9:27, reply

It's too late

pink_oboe 8:49, reply

Teh nets are full of horror this morning

"You're the one for me fatty"

mrs_ivy_trellis 9:37, reply

Girth is the loneliest planet

I'm throwing my arms around pastries

Kick the bride down the deli aisle

Back to the Steakhouse

Rubber Ring

There is a fridge light that never goes out


prefers_earlier_work 15:41, reply

You could get a cock in there.

dawnsyndrome 15:33, reply

Mexican cock. With grated cheese on top

rogermoore 17:17, reply

The beast is dead.

Jon Fat Beast has died. If you ever played at the Bull and Gate (or went to see Carter) then you'll know who I mean. Shame, the music scene needed more people like him not less. Or is it fewer? I really don't care.

And yes, he did look a bit like Kuato in Total Recall.

deep_stoat 12:53, reply

Carter have set up

a collection so that he can have a decent send-off:

dariusjedburgh 12:01, reply

ah, crap. he was a nice guy.

__________ 9:12, reply

sad news

RIP you fat bastard

car_snow_gin 9:01, reply

If you can count them, it's fewer.

Fewer characters=less interest.

Fewer strokes=less irritation.

thebestnameshavegone 0:14, reply

I told you, I don't fucking care.

Apart from making a sentence ugly I've never seen a practical example where incorrect use leads to the wrong conclusion.

However, the Typeface / font argument is very much still alive in my world.

deep_stoat 8:27, reply

yes, but the incorrect conclusion argument legitimises the infer/imply brigade - because yes, of course we all know what they mean, even though they're wrong and lazy. And that woman who says Pacifically. And to all extents and purposes...

john_lewis_partnership 8:49, reply

tulisa trial thrown out...

and the fake sheik might be getting an unexpected moment of glory (in the form of a perjury trial) . oops.

neville_bartos 12:54, reply

CPS 1 - Tulisa 1

CPS score a scrappy equaliser:

whitemaninhammersmithpalais 14:07, reply

Separated at birth

mrs_ivy_trellis 17:09, reply

Tulisa's being attacked by a cuddly Dalek.

deep_stoat 12:36, reply

philanderer 17:13, reply

hack_daniels 14:04, reply

dawnsyndrome 9:12, reply

Bless you Caitlin!

The bukake queen of all our hearts.

oldgit 14:11, reply


thebestnameshavegone 0:24, reply

There's lovely !

Boy George used to employ a different method to disguise his double chin.

fayekorgazm 17:21, reply


__________ 14:39, reply

deep_stoat 10:00, reply

pink_oboe 11:37, reply

I hope Mazher Mahmood gets his day in court

I've had a couple of work dealings with him in the past and he's a rude, arrogant tosser of the highest order. (No, I'm not Tulisa)

agnetha 14:29, reply

I hope they kiss and make up

edmor 20:16, reply

thatevilwoman 8:18, reply

Kirk was 25 yo at the start of that kiss

pink_oboe 11:47, reply


dawnsyndrome 14:45, reply

I am Spartakiss! I am Spartakiss! I am Spartakiss!

edmor 10:29, reply

Tulisa to sue The Sun!

No, wait. Tulisa not to sue The Sun.

babycatboy 8:18, reply

It's hardly her first sloppy retraction

mount_st_nobody 10:57, reply

Problems with changed evidence? He's got form.

1988 Fired from The Sunday Times after being "caught trying to cover his mistakes by offering a financial bribe to the staff in the newspaper computer room to falsify his copy..."

mrs_ivy_trellis 15:06, reply

Were his lies

about the evidence that brought her to court, or was it his believability in general that was in question?

pink_oboe 8:10, reply

either way, there's certainly nothing unbelievable or unlikely about this:

"Mahmood got me and my team completely intoxicated and persuaded me to act the part of a bad, rough ghetto girl. They recorded this and produced this as evidence when I thought it was an audition."

car_snow_gin 11:35, reply


is the best way to approach any audition

pink_oboe 13:10, reply


edmor 14:59, reply

Barbara used to trawl through newspapers on a daily basis, and cut out articles about her

"For her museum". I can't imagine how she would handle the Internet if she were alive today.

fayekorgazm 15:43, reply

Ctrl+P ?

whitemaninhammersmithpalais 16:19, reply

And the PB staple

F5, F5, F5, F5, F5, F5zzzzzzz

pink_oboe 17:47, reply

Ain't that the truth

deep_stoat 13:12, reply

fuggin' right

car_snow_gin 14:41, reply

mrs_ivy_trellis 8:42, reply

pink_oboe 15:13, reply

deep_stoat 16:28, reply

Harvey's grown up quick

hasn't he?

stan2a10shun 23:39, reply

Yes, grazing on crisps has taken its toll seemingly.

*looks down*

hack_daniels 7:15, reply

Grazing on crisps has taken its toll

spank_daley 16:56, reply

mrs_ivy_trellis 17:04, reply

thatevilwoman 21:48, reply

curlywurly 11:32, reply

dawnsyndrome 13:55, reply

Hawkus is away.

mrs_ivy_trellis 21:55, reply


curlywurly 15:31, reply


never lived that down has he?

petsco 8:43, reply

Walk Like An OAPtian

thatevilwoman 15:38, reply

"Electric Chair"

humphrey_plugg 9:33, reply

v good

curlywurly 11:31, reply


mr_david 20:00, reply


dawnsyndrome 13:54, reply

And Stevie G

has retired to spend more time with his legal team.

cunt 21:37, reply

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