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The Popbitch Popquiz is back next month. April 12th at Smiths Of Smithfield. Book your table now for gossip, trivia and the filthiest arts and crafts you’ll ever do: http://bit.ly/1R95FRQ
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“The whole thing is an act, of course. My job, my TV persona, ‘Jeremy Clarkson'” – Jeremy Clarkson
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|_| |_|24.03.16 ISSUE 778
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* Guardians of free speech
* The many loves of Cheryl
* Charts: Sigala is no 1
>> Posh grub <<
Dining with the Beckhams
Celebrity chef Wolfgang Puck spilled some beans on the Beckhams in the media this week, revealing that while David chows down on steaks at his restaurant, Victoria opts for spinach (with a little salt too, if she’s really pushing the boat out).
It sounds pretty depressing, but we can assure you her diet is much more varied than that. Christmas lunch, for example. She didn’t just stick to veggies then. As David and the kids tucked into a turkey dinner with all the trimmings, Posh treated herself… to three microwaved egg whites.
David Beckham enjoyed St Patrick’s Day in Notting Hill pub, The Cow. Gaz Mayall DJ’d. Arsenal’s Ian Wright was on the next table.
>> Up the injunction <<
Guardians of free speech
Whenever a celebrity injunction arrives on UK newsdesks, our lawyer is always quick to remind us not to do anything that could inadvertently give away obvious clues as to who the claimants might be.
Maybe we should pass his details on to the Guardian.
Another high-profile injunction has been taken out this last week and, in their original coverage of it, the Guardian claimed it had been taken out by a “well-known entertainer” and his “wife”.
When someone pointed out to them that the judgement actually says “partner” and not “wife”, they duly made the change. Such is their dedication to transparency however, they went and flagged up that little edit at the bottom of the article.
It rather catches the eye down there though. Especially given that they’ve retained the detail that the couple are married.
They should have just done what the Telegraph did and made the change without telling anyone.
FYI: We wrote about the reemergence of celebrity injunctions back in December last year: http://bit.ly/1N5xtz0
Twitter did a decent job of guessing injunction identities last time, but it’s a little off this time. We 100% promise you: it isn’t Vernon Kay.
>> Big Questions <<
Who’s asking what this week?
Which US pop star, famous since childhood, has been spotted on tour buying meth?
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Download this week’s Media Masters podcast interview: How did Sir Martin Sorrell build one of the most powerful media companies in the world from scratch? http://bit.ly/25nmIng
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>> Brief encounters <<
A worse party than UKIP
It was a big – and ultimately bad – day in court yesterday for UKIP deputy chair, Suzanne Evans, who failed to overturn her party suspension.
You’d think a high profile case like this would be a pretty big event for a lawyer. But not for Suzanne’s brief. Oh no.
The main reason yesterday was a big day in court for him was because he pleaded guilty to buying a thousand pounds’ worth of chemsex drugs for a party.
Jack Wilshere, one of the two number 10 shirt players that the 10Ten Talent agency was named after, looks set to leave for new pastures.
>> Sun shines <<
Sticking it to the royals
Gossip from The Sun suggests the paper is fully resigned to losing the IPSO ruling over the Queen/Brexit story they got from Michael Gove, but no-one seems to care too much. Why?
Well, apparently Rupert Murdoch is cool with it. Sticking one over on the royal family was just too much fun for him to pass up.
In other whispers from News UK, Murdoch is convinced that Trump will mince Hillary in the election.
>> Mirror, Mirror <<
The many loves of Cheryl
Scepticism about Cheryl and Liam remains high – but is it any wonder? This is how her love life has been covered in just one single newspaper:
2016: Cheryl and Liam from One Direction in “secret three month relationship”
2014: Cheryl and Jean-Bernard marry after “secret three month relationship”
2012: “Cheryl and Tom (Daley) are taking the plunge and have set up a date”
2010: Cheryl and will.i.am “secretly dating”
Zayn Malik says the album that had the most impact on him was Tupac’s All Eyez on Me.
>> A Siri-ish business <<
Like AneedA hole in the head
No matter how many flops he’s responsible for, will.i.am still continues to chance his arm as a tech guru.
His iPhone camera case was a disaster, as was the wristphone, and his Ekocycle online shop now links to nothing. But, as Will himself says, “Palm trees is what we need to be… When that wind comes, I bend. I’m a fuckin’ palm tree.”
So, like a fuckin’ palm tree, Will is about to bring out another smartwatch: the Dial. It comes with a Siri-style voice-activated helper called AneedA: “Like ‘Anita’, but modified because you use it when you ‘need’ something.”
Nice to see Karen Danczuk tweeting pictures of herself in a corset to her 69K followers (fnar fnar…)
>> The Newsworthy Penis <<
New Popbitch Magazine Out Now!
Media commentators have begun to speculate on the chilling effect that the Hogan/Gawker ruling might have on celebrity reporting and gossip – but we aren’t so worried.
In fact, we’ve just published a brand new edition of Popbitch Magazine filled with celebs stuffing things up their arses, taking drugs with rabbits, and all sorts.
We’ve also got full coverage on the Hulk Hogan case (which includes the closest thing we could legally get to
reconstructing the sex tape) plus twenty-odd pages of other exclusive gossip and stories.
A perfect read for the four day weekend!
Ian Duncan Smith takes his tea and coffee with goat’s milk.
>> Rainmen <<
Mopping up after Adele
According to media reports, the rain effect that Adele has been using in her live show for the song Set Fire To The Rain is a hologram.
Which came as news to a bunch of grumpy stagehands who have been spending a large part of their nights mopping up the actual water that pisses down throughout the song.
Nom Det Of The Week: Dan Merica, journalist for CNN, covering the US Democratic Party race for the nomination… @danmericaCNN
>> Production values <<
The Mark of quality
Mark Linsey has just been announced as the new boss of BBC Studios (taking over from Peter Salmon, who has gone from gamekeeper to poacher with his move to Endemol Shine).
What sort of heavyweight commissioning credits does he have on his CV? The kind that will undoubtedly wow the big indie production companies he’ll be working with now.
One-season-wonders like Don’t Scare The Hare, Tumble, That Puppet Game Show, Prized Apart and The Getaway Car – to name but a few.
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Popbitch Donors: Via Paypal? We have your info OK. Via Bank Transfer? If you haven’t already, email hello@popbitch.com We’re missing about 12 donors’ details and we have something exciting to send you next week. Want to help Popbitch? You still can – from only 3 quid! http://bit.ly/SupportPopbitch
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>> Hmmms <<
Parrots, Zayn, poetry
The drummer from Tears for Fears makes chilli pickles now (they’re delicious):
http://bit.ly/1S6CKZd
Reclaimed, vintage and new maritime and industrial lighting and collectables. Popbitch readers get 10% discount:
http://bit.ly/1RzFCTO/
The world’s first oral sex simulator for men, from Lovehoney. The Sqweel XT means men don’t have to wait until their birthday for great oral sex…
http://bit.ly/1VFnHLp
Everything you ever wanted to know about parrots:
http://nyti.ms/1UMYs9b
We’ve critically evaluated Adam Johnson’s sister’s poetry:
http://bit.ly/1Rj6pSp
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Thanks to: twattybanjo, MC, NR, J, ourmaninkbaul, JB, DS, JS, AM, JW
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Old Jokes Home:
A man goes to the doctor and explains “I have a tiny penis”.
The doctor tells him not to worry, but when he drops his trousers he erupts in peals of laughter.
“My God, you weren’t joking were you. Anyway what seems to be the problem?” asks the doc.
Man: “It’s really swollen.”
Still Bored?
RIP Rob Ford, the crack-smoking Canadian mayor. Your legacy continues in Donald Trump:
http://bit.ly/1XsTDQE
