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David Baddiel, the world’s 6th sexiest jew (official title) joins 5×15 on Monday 20 April. John Lanchester, Tim Dowling and Marion Coutts also speak. 15GBP tickets using promo code Popbitch.
http://bit.ly/1COevI5
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“My songs are about finding yourself. Or sleeping with someone.” – Conchita Wurst
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|_| |_|16.04.15 ISSUE 734
Free email every week
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Email stories hello@popbitch.com
* B V B: The Voice speaks
* Zoella: flushed with success
* Charts: Wiz Khalifa number one
>> High in the sky <<
Tales from the coke-pit
Ah, the joys of flying on a private jet. Contentious designers Dolce and Gabbana settled back in their posh
seats to enjoy a flight and immediately sparked up a doobie. As there was no partition with the cockpit the pilot considered donning an oxygen mask for fear of becoming passively stoned, but instead got the attendant to ask their famous clients if they’d mind putting it out.
The pair complied graciously. But then asked if they had the same policy for gak. The attendant was happy to tell them that they didn’t.
Cars of the Rock ‘n’ Roll Set, pt 1: Bobby Gillespie of Primal Scream drives a dinky little VW Polo.
>> Keepin’ it real <<
Flushed with success
First came the six-figure endorsement deals. Then came the ghostwritten debut novel. Now she’s having her waxwork made at Madame Tussauds, but it doesn’t look like fame has changed Zoella Suggs.
She and blogger boyfriend Alfie Deyes were travelling from Brighton to London this week and even though they had their pick of the train, where did they chose to sit? In a standard class carriage, right next to the bog.
Cars of the Rock ‘n’ Roll Set, pt 2: Mrs Gillespie, Katy England, once edgy creative director of Alexander McQueen, has a 4×4 Chelsea tractor.
>> Big Questions <<
Who’s asking what this week?
A press officer for which up-and-coming political party has had his mobile phone nicked? Who knows what juicy stuff is on there.
Which member of the House of Lords was once asked by special branch to stop buying so many boys bicycles?
Hungarian Lesson of the Week: Hungarian for cheese is sajt. Pronounced ‘shite’. Ask for a cheeseburger, you say ‘shiteburger’.
>> Goodnight and Goodluck <<
Jon is written out of history
Global news channel, Arise TV, is being investigated here by OFCOM after a complaint suggested it had broadcast the result of the recent Nigerian election before the official ballot had been concluded.
This may be in no way connected to how the channel got the story so quickly, but a line in the Wikipedia entry for the channel’s Nigerian boss about how he’s big mates with the now ex-President Goodluck Jonathan no longer seems to be there.
Most watched on Eurovision.tv’s YouTube channel? Conchita? Loreen? Nope, it’s Jessy Matador. France’s 2010 entry, which came 12th.
>> Ticket to hide <<
You can’t buy class
The trade-off involved in being invited to all of those star-studded, champagne-and-canapé charity galas is that you occasionally have to put your hand in your pocket for a good cause. No-one seems to have passed that memo on to the cast of TOWIE though.
Some of the TOWIE gang were present at the glitzy Jog On To Cancer event at Kensington Roof Gardens last week, all getting stuck into the party and tweeting about what a great cause it was. However, people working there noticed how few of them agreed to buy any of the raffle tickets in aid of Cancer Research UK. They only relented when personally cajoled by the host.
The cost of those tickets? 10 quid.
How streaming changes the charts: Nick Jonas had the biggest selling single of the week last week; but Jess Glynne was number one.
>>> Brand Theft Polo <<
Lauren disorder in Sicily
Ralph Lauren is due to open a new flagship store in Sicily in a few weeks’ time. However, there’s been a little bit of a hitch to the plan thanks to a spot of theft. Namely, a 21-ton truck containing 100,000 items of clothing – the entire stock for the store.
This was enough to fill all the shelves and the stockroom for the next few months. So you can expect to see some sharper-than-average Mafioso on the shores of Taormina this season.
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The Top 40 Annual 1988. The first UK house music, the start of the Kylie Era – 1988 still resonates in today’s biggest tunes. Who did Pete Waterman say was “my favourite idea for a pop group ever”? Who was Bernard Sumner imitating on Fine Time? And much more:
http://amzn.to/1yviTiz
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>> Baboon V Badger <<
Stevie McCrorie weighs in
One week after winning The Voice, Stevie McCrorie enjoyed his triumphant first gig – playing Richard Desmond’s Northern and Shell canteen.
People were milling about, ordering food and talking as Stevie strummed his guitar in the background. One diner asked Stevie for his opinion on our longstanding debate about who would win in a fight between a baboon and a badger. This was his answer:
“A baboon. I don’t know why. I suppose it’s just the normal one most people would choose. Because it’s bigger, stronger.”
FYI: Stevie gave his answer before news broke of the ‘super badger’ who is terrorising pensioners:
http://bit.ly/1OBW80o
Serious News Nom Dem: The head of under-fire Yarls Wood immigration detention centre… Norman Abusin.
>> Public enemies <<
More PR own goals
celtiagirl writes:
“Public Eye have been useless at PR for years. They handled Jude Law, and when Nannygate hit the papers went to town because Public Eye never let Jude do interviews with them anyway, so they had nothing to lose…
“Public Eye also favour a contract where interviewers have to sign an agreement that they will only use the quotes once. How Public Eye proposed to chase and punish re-use of quotes once in the public domain has always mystified all concerned.”
Penn Jillette has a daughter called Moxie Crime-Fighter.
>> Shed in the clouds <<
Mr Branson’s island hut
Remember those Virgin ads from last year where Usain Bolt kicked a football through the window of a suburban shed, inside which was Richard Branson dressed in a spacesuit?
Well, this week we found out that while Branson was happy to appear in that advert, he wasn’t quite so happy about turning up to suburbia to film it. Instead the production team had to fly out to Necker Island (Branson’s private island in the Caribbean) and rebuild the shed there. Just for that cameo.
Is it over already for Iggy Azalea? The hugely-hyped Trouble failed to chart in the UK, and only got to 67 in US top 100.
>> Hmmms <<
Cat head, stalker, Bond
Golf in America today looks like Jordan Spieth, not Tiger Woods. Whiter than the North Pole. Why?
http://bit.ly/1NPvhkA
That realistic cat head mask you wanted is now in stock:
http://bit.ly/1FMZ6sn
“You need to check them. That’s not great”. How not to be an election candidate:
https://youtu.be/YTkKJT_BuHA
Two bears, 24 Bond films, one Shirley Bassey campaign. But are they too late?
http://bit.ly/1CRgUAx
Headline of the year? “Boney M Star’s Brother In Imam Murder”? (His sister is a born again Christian and has been making religious albums since Boney M days):
http://bit.ly/1cyRqTw
So can you predict the Grand National by statistics? Er, not always, it turns out:
http://bit.ly/1aZvy2u
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Monday, 20th April in Soho W1. Fancy a sitcom test reading? TITS, about two idiot brothers (by Jane Bussmann & Naisola Grimwood) Jane’s reading the script to test jokes plus wine/beer/crisps. 630pm for 7pm start, done by 8pm. Only 20 places so email asap for list:
hello@popbitch.com
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Thanks: SW, lgbtqfml, EIB, MJ, SW, EB, GH, CN, GC, JB, RM, Barbie_Pocklington, Nigelbee, deep_stoat, L, badhorsey, EN
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Old Jokes Home:
I told my boyfriend I wanted something for my birthday that went from 0 to 80 in under four seconds.
He bought me some bathroom scales.
Still Bored?
Reprezent radio does great work in London, but needs funding to continue. Here’s their indiegogo:
http://bit.ly/1JMymfm
