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An Evening with Ranulph Fiennes – a rare opportunity to hear the world’s greatest living explorer talk about his experiences. On Tue 13 October, 6.45pm, London SW1. Get 20% off tickets here with code POPBITCH: http://bit.ly/1JYzNZl
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“Great Britain needs great banter” – Johnny Vaughan
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|_| |_|10.09.15 ISSUE 753
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* Radio X-rated Comedy
* More mundane celebrity tips
* Charts: Sigala is no 1
>> Waity Katie <<
Controlled explosions
Katie Price has been hinting that she’s got some explosive revelations in her new autobiography, but yesterday
the publishers said it was delayed by a year. Perhaps they ran into legal issues. If so, could any of these wild old rumours be the cause?
* She once secretly dated a then-single Gary Lineker?
* That there’s an online tech company boasting how their software helped get the votes to win CBB?
* How she charged up to Christine Bleakley to claim she’d once given Frank Lampard a blowjob?
Or maybe these are just that: rumours. Whatever she ends up writing, we’re sure she’ll put her hart and soul into it.
One for our American readers – just making sure you know that the word trump in UK means a fart. e.g. a trump, to trump, Donald Trumps…
>> Sludge match <<
More media mudslinging
We haven’t had a meaty media fight since that whole merry phone-hacking fiasco erupted. And seeing as the police are being upsettingly slow to put Piers Morgan in prison (if only for being a colossal prick) the landscape was looking rather barren.
That’s all about to change though, because two of the internet’s most prominent swampmonsters are looking to do battle in the courts. Yes, the Daily Mail is suing Gawker. For defamation.
But there’s a little more to this case than first meets the eye. We read the full deposition, and we have some thoughts…
It’s not just Clarkson looking for TV producers down under. Hollyoaks is now advertising in Australia for script editors and producers.
>> Big Questions <<
Who’s asking what this week?
Cameramen working with which much-loved TV presenter have been told to be careful when recording if he ever starts up on the topic of China? He’s been known to say some massively racially insensitive things – as he can’t forgive the Chinese for eating dogs.
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Peter York: HOW TO BECOME A NICER TYPE OF PERSON. The co-inventor of the Sloane Ranger tells us what not to wear, what not to say and what not to think. Next week 15-17 Sept 7.30pm, Soho Theatre. Exclusive Popbitch offer: tickets just 10GBP with the code POPYORK here:
http://bit.ly/1izbw34
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>> Radio XXX <<
The perils of live Comedy
In an interview Chris Moyles gave to the Sun this week, Moyles talked about how he was still annoyed that Radio 1 controller, Ben Cooper, had sacked him before he had the chance to resign live on air – the way he’d always hoped he’d go.
That wasn’t such a worry for Cooper though. He knew Moyles would never quit on air – nor would he misbehave too badly on his final day. What Cooper did worry about, however, was Comedy Dave. Specifically that Dave might try to settle one final score with Moyles on his last show – and claim live on air that Moyles had slept with his ex-wife.
He didn’t, but perhaps unsurprisingly, Comedy Dave is one of the few people who won’t be rejoining the team on Chris Moyles’ new Radio X show.
Alistair Stewart spotted in Grays Inn Rd buying a sandwich and crisps calling all the staff ‘darling’ and saying goodbye with a ‘ciao ciao!’
>> Bantagonism <<
Dave: not so funny now
Great Britain’s bantermeisters sure are a prickly bunch. Not only does Johnny Vaughan hate being interviewed by women, it seems that David Walliams doesn’t always care for the company of kids.
When he was doing the promo rounds for one of his kids’ books, one publication sent along an eight year old to
interview Walliams – thinking it might make a nice angle.
The child’s first question was, “Where do you get your inspiration from?”
To which Walliams answered: “That’s a stupid question. I don’t have to answer this.”
He then spent the rest of the interview complaining about how awful the question had been, before cutting it short.
Clay Aiken’s favourite barbecue pit, Durham’s Backyard, has been named best barbecue in North Carolina.
>> Sky blue thinking <<
The unstoppable sex machine
Football fans will no doubt be enjoying the very public embarrassment of Alexander Carter-Silk, the lawyer who sent *that* inappropriate LinkedIn message.
Carter-Silk has been providing legal representation for the hedge fund Sisu – the owners of Coventry City.
Sisu are currently embroiled in a long-running dispute with Coventry Council over the city’s Ricoh Arena ground, in which they have been castigated by a high-court judge for “mismanagement”. Fans had been forced to decamp to Northampton to watch their team and see the club teeter close to closure, so watching Sisu’s brief have to squirm must be a little satisfying.
A puffin weighs about the same as a can of Coke.
>> Commoner salt <<
More celebrity tips
LC writes:
“I was in Edinburgh in 2012 for the festival and me and my mates were in a chipper. As I like a lot of vinegar, I asked if I could put the seasonings on myself. The bored attendant duly obliged and I put the salt on, followed by the vinegar. Someone behind me said to me ‘You ought to put the vinegar on first and then the salt. That way the salt won’t all run off the chips.’
“In fairness, he was right. Thank you Ricky Gervais for changing my life.”
RIP Lord Montagu. His mundane-but-useful domestic tip: the secret, when making scrambled eggs, is to add a splash of boiling water.
>> Jennerating content <<
Keeping up with Kris
Kris Jenner really is one of the greatest celebrity managers of all time. Not only does she control the family’s image on TV but – thanks to a deal with MailOnline last year – they’ve ensured a steady stream of positivity where you might otherwise have expected to see the family slagged off.
And she hasn’t stopped there. Kris is said to be behind a whole new circle of well-funded US celeb sites which largely focus on the comings and goings of the Jenner-Kardashian clan.
The niftiest part is that they can publish whatever stories they like – including some wild rumours they know that their sister-publications can (and will) immediately debunk – all the while knowing that other media sites will pick the stories up and send them round the world.
65% of the world’s population uses Colgate toothpaste.
>> Photo fit <<
What the papers say
Every day, the BBC updates its Papers Review blog – a page which includes a picture of the front page of each of the UK’s major national newspapers.
But someone ought to be a bit more careful where they source these pictures from. The images are accurate, but the filenames can sometimes be a little… well, let’s say injudicious.
This week saw these filenames appear. See if you can guess which is which:
…thescumfrontpage050915(1).jpg
…torygraf.jpg
…heil.jpg
…getsworse.jpg
…durt.jpg
…moron.jpg
…stahhhhh.jpg
40% of UK-based web users are using ad blocking technology; twice as many as in the USA.
>> On heat <<
Yes, Sasha’s back!
It feels like it gets earlier every year, but the official start of Eurovision season is when Moldova’s maddest and most determined pop star, Sasha Bognibov, unleashes his entry for the Moldovan national heat.
And he’s just dropped it.
Sasha has previously written such catchy hit songs as “I Love The Girls Of 13 Years Old”, “Do You Like My Sexy
Lips?”, “My Lesbian Girl” and “Fuck Me Once”.
This year? The disappointingly discreet “Alone”.
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Bored with regular book clubs? Try one with a famous author instead. JEANETTE WINTERSON speaks about The Gap of Time. 1st Oct, London W11. 10GBP tickets – promo code ORANGES:
http://bit.ly/1Offp9q
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>> Hmmms <<
Brits, logos, sexy bags
Abz’s Brit award is on eBay; currently going for a cool million:
http://ebay.eu/1Mc36LE
The sexy new Asian craze? Wearing carrier bags:
http://bit.ly/1OdskIY
RIP the most unfortunately named man in history, YMCA leader and motivational speaker… Ray Pugh:
http://dmreg.co/1UC7xUn
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Thanks to: SS, monstris, SK, B, SG, PD, CMH, LEW, Z, RT
Thanks to Misterman for correcting our story about Ronan’s new wife Storm. She didn’t change her name
from Sharon. It was Sharyn.
And thanks to petsco, MP and BJ for pointing out that Tim Laurence retired as a Vice Admiral (Navy) and not as a Major (Army)
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Old Jokes’ Home:
A blind man has been arrested for having sex with his guide dog.
He claims it led him on.
Still Bored?
Grace Jones’ memoirs (title: I’ll Never Write My Memoirs) is out this month. Extract here:
http://bit.ly/1i0uuPB
