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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love) makes a rare appearance in London, on 23rd Nov. A life-affirming, funny speaker (her TED talk is one of the 20 most viewed of all time) she will be discussing her new book on creativity. 20% off tickets here: http://bit.ly/1RfZw2a
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“I’m one of the best packers you will probably ever meet” – David Beckham
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|_| |_|01.10.15 ISSUE 756
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* Brand Beckham: making dough
* S Club Jo: Bid it all back
* Charts: Bond theme is number 1
>> Piping up <<
For whom the Campbell tolls
Labour must really be serious about taking back Scotland from the SNP.
How do we know? Alistair Campbell is doubling down on his bagpipe practice.
You can find him at 9:30, pretty much every morning, practising in the bandstand at Parliament Hill.
“Billboard’s Woman of the Year… a key influential figure who drove the conversation. No one embodies that more than Lady Gaga in 2015” Really? Sure it’s not 2009?
>> Big Questions <<
Who’s asking what this week?
Which Brit comedian has a bit of a thing for ears? One woman who went home with the funny man had to stop the taxi and call it a night early because his back-of-the-cab kissing technique was getting a little too focused on her lugholes for her liking.
The co-author of that #PigGate biography of David Cameron, Isabel Oakeshott, is rumoured to have been paid at least one million pounds.
>> Bid it all back <<
Ain’t no auction like it
Seems as though Abz from 5ive has started a bit of a trend. After his Brit award went viral on eBay, other slightly hard-up stars from the early 2000s are taking to the internet to flog off any old tat they’ve got up in their attic.
Currently drawing a suspicious amount of attention to a bunch of eBay auctions: Jo S Club. Among the things she’s keen for people to bid on are the lots of lennyboy831 – who has a surprising number of signed pictures of Jo for sale. And a laminated backstage pass for “our last tour”.
The Tonga rugby team have eaten at Nando’s Exeter every day for the last ten days. Sometimes more than once a day.
>> Bulb out salutations <<
The choke isn’t funny anymore
Morrissey’s old Porsche 911 Targa is currently sat in a garage in Heaton Mersey. It is being restored to its former glory after being in storage for two years, getting nibbled at by mice.
In between attempts to rewire the car correctly, the mechanics are currently amusing themselves by trying to add a brake light that never goes out.
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Southwark’s much loved burger’n’beer emporium The Lord Nelson has a shiny new venture, The Grove. The Grove is having an end-of-summer exotic meats BBQ this Friday (Oct 2nd) with DJ Disco Dani spinning reggae, disco, pop and Benny Hill. From 7pm. 279 Battersea Park Rd, SW11.
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>> Partial disclosure <<
Face off with album designer
You know that face emblem that appears on all of Disclosure’s stuff? On the album covers, the single covers, their promo photography, their backdrop at the Brits, etc. The original artist claims she sold the rights to that piece for a small fee – on the condition that she would be credited.
The work has gone on to be used and adapted in almost everything that they’ve done; a signature of sorts. And guess what? The artist – Roxie Warder – doesn’t seem to think she’s been credited after all.
FYI – This isn’t the first time people have called foul about Disclosure’s artwork practices. So did SBTRKT earlier this year: http://bit.ly/1L4bzys
The model used as the outline for the original Disclosure mask face? Scarlett Johansson.
>> Making dough <<
Beckham’s a master baker
Showbiz media seems to have gone out of its way this week to use the Beckhams’ solo travel schedules to hint at some bigger problems.
So whether this is an attempt to create a picture of cosy domesticity chez Beck, or just a last-gasp cash-in, one of the Beckhams’ long-term leeches has been trying to flog some phenomenally juicy scoops about them this week.
Including:
* David Beckham likes to bake bread (both soda bread, and olive and feta bread) and his pies are immense!
* They often buy no brand milk at the grocery store, saying it is just as good as brand names!
* David once bought a couch and coffee table from eBay under a pseudonym!
Looks like it’s going to be a lean Christmas for someone, if these are the top tales they’ve got for the media.
Uptown Funk is back in the top 40. It first charted in December last year and is already the fifth biggest single in UK history.
>> Dark side of the Sun <<
Rebekah brooks no kindness
Chris Pharo’s trial for paying public officials is painting a very odd picture of life at the Sun under Rebekah Brooks. A weird mix of swearing and sulks, and her being the “most charming person I’ve ever met”.
It reminds us of the story of one of the other arrested News UK journalists. Their court case had caused them some real financial struggles and so, as a last resort, they reached out to their ex-boss, Rebekah, for some help.
As she’d just been awarded a 16 million pound pay-off from the same firm, you’d think it would be an easy moment for Brooks to show some solidarity and a bit of that famous charm?
Er, not quite. We hear the words ‘off’ and ‘fuck’ were the general response. And not necessarily in that order.
The Sun political editor Tom Newton Dunn’s middle name is Zoltan.
>> Fish and chins <<
Trout of the ordinary
First it was Ricky Gervais, then John Major – and now Jimmy Hill has got a mundane celebrity fish tip for you.
When you’re cooking trout, you want to fillet, butter and grill the fish as normal. But at the end, don’t squeeze a wedge of lemon over the top. Use a satsuma instead.
Tastes much better, apparently.
The Queen makes her own special salad dressings, by hand, for Royal family barbecues.
>> Readers digest <<
Sweating the small stuff
Guardian commenters have been on the warpath this week. One of the more moderate posts read:
“If you don’t want your loyal readers wondering out loud why you’d destroy a once proud reputation by publishing such nonsense you probably shouldn’t have opened the article to comments.”
The object of their ire? 700 words on how a woman was once subjected to some small talk in the queue at Starbucks.
Maybe the commenter has a point. Especially when you consider that the Guardian’s top story yesterday was:
“Why aren’t cats loyal? You asked Google.”
Enough to make you nostalgic for those heady days of the Snowden era, when almost every story in the Guardian was about the Guardian.
Nominative Determinism of the Week: Lewisham Council’s rubbish and recycling consultation manager is… Kristina Binns.
>> Price of fame <<
Katie not flavour of the month?
The celebrity make-up artist Gary Cockerill has launched a new book this week and press coverage has focused on his stellar client list: “Eva Longoria, Jerry Hall, Kelly Brook and Jo Wood”.
Which is odd, as up until now we’ve only really known Gary as the best pal of Katie Price. He’s been in countless magazine features; she was even a bridesmaid at his wedding.
But, for some reason, her name was missing from all of the PR we’ve seen. Has Pricey’s star fallen down so far that her endorsement is now seen as a liability? It could certainly explain the lack of celebrity boyfriends for a while. Maybe the only partners she’ll pull now are just average Joes?
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The Big Popbitch Autumn Quiz Night! Tues 13 Oct, Smiths – Spitalfields. 7-10pm. Trivia/Music/Arts/Crafts. Plus live accordion and dance off! Reserve your team and table now http://bit.ly/1P2VDfv
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>> Hmmms <<
Chicago, Kygo, Korbin
The Israeli Defence League is getting into listicles:
http://bit.ly/1P754ge
Fancy a night in the Cotswolds? Great deal on Lygon Arms (where Kate Moss and Stella McCartney used to hang out together) inc dinner and wine!:
http://bit.ly/1YQAL1C
Further musings on Kygo’s Take On Me. Check out this 1981 track by Freestyle:
http://bit.ly/1KBoKn2
One times one equals one? Not to Terrence Howard.
http://rol.st/1NTMQzj
Terry Eagleton reviews a new biography of the Queen – “bootlicking obsequiousness” etc
http://bit.ly/1P6ZGK4
Why you should never order a mojito – a barman speaks:
http://bit.ly/1Vpoou3
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Thanks to: Little Blue, AM, MM, HM, RT, PD, abominablehoman, monstris, CJ, FC, HN, E
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Old Jokes Home:
Q/ What do you call a pigfucker with three eyes?
A/ Daviiid Cameron
Still Bored?
A quick guide to getting the best out of watching X Factor:
http://bit.ly/1LSqQDj
