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## “I ##### killed ###############
the ######## head ###### of #####
####### the ################ Irish
#### mafia” ######### Watch ######
‘The ##### Mafia #### with #######
##Trevor McDonald’######## on ITV.
http://bit.ly/MafiaWithTrevorMcDonaldTrailer
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“If being cocky, opinionated and a bit crackers was enough to get you turfed off the line up at Glastonbury, it’d be pretty empty backstage” – Tim Burgess
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|_| |_| 19.03.15 ISSUE 730
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Email stories hello@popbitch.com
* Swedish sign language
* Fine dining with Michael Bublé
* Charts: Comic Relief still No. 1
>> Greekonomics <<
Yanis’s bit on the side
Hipster Greek Finance Minister Yanis Varoufakis is getting a fair bit of stick this week. First, Prime Minister Tsipras told him to keep a lower profile, then came that Paris Match photo shoot, then the faked finger-to-Germany video circulated.
Still, if things continue to go wrong for him, at least they won’t have to resort to the same sort of belt-tightening as the rest of the country, as the Varoufakis family appear to be renting out their luxury Aegina island villa… for 5,000 euros a week.
Austerity? What austerity?
Heather Mills sold her failed vegan cafe to Norman Cook. It’s still going strong – and now serves meat.
>> Bring back hacking! <<
A look in the Mirror
Now that they can’t hack phones any more, how are the Mirror getting their stories? From reading Popbitch, it seems.
Last Thursday’s Popbitch: “The words used are said to be something along the lines of “…you lazy fucking Irish cunt?”
Last Saturday’s Mirror: “World Exclusive. Jeremy Clarkson allegedly called Top Gear producer ‘lazy Irish ****'”
In fairness to the Mirror, their coverage of Clarkson’s fracas has been really good. But ‘world exclusive’? At least the two papers who rang us up about it offered to credit us.
Three UK judges were sacked this week for watching porn on their work computers.
>> Big Questions <<
Who’s asking what this week?
Which pint-sized soap star-turned-singer, currently on the comeback trail, has been supplementing her income by sleeping with rich Arab men for £1m a pop?
The National Institute of Water and Atmospheric research in New Zealand has an ecotoxicologist called… Dr Sue Clearwater.
>> Neighbourhood witch <<
Making friends at Ramsey St
Madge’s resurrection for the Neighbours anniversary special might please fans of the show, but is unlikely to charm those behind the scenes.
Actress Anne Charleston has been telling anyone who will listen how much she hated the cast and crew when she started – and that they hated her too.
She’s certainly right on that second point. “Vile”, “disgusting”, “egotistical” and “monstrous” are just some of the kinder epithets her colleagues are still using to describe the actress.
The first episode of the upcoming animated Thunderbirds reboot is written by David Baddiel.
>> Bublé and squeak <<
Mickey’s mouse food
Poor Michael Bublé hasn’t made quite the splash he’d hoped to in Dubai. He performed a couple of gigs there recently which were so sparsely attended that the organisers took to shunting people around the quarter-full cricket stadium to try to close up the huge gaps.
It obviously took a toll on little Mickey’s appetite. Rather than choosing to dine in any of Dubai’s many world-class restaurants, he opted instead to take his meals at the local Chuck E Cheese.
When Bublé landed in Dubai he got off the plane wearing some smart lace-up shoes. Without any laces in them. Or any socks.
>> Makin’ paper <<
The champagne socialist party
Always looking for newer, more cutting-edge ways to haemorrhage money, the Guardian’s latest scheme to raise funds is with a new ‘membership’ model. It’s kind of like a fan club (but one that costs £540 a year if you want to get any freebies).
And what are they doing with all that money? Why, what any respectable, left-leaning, socially conscious newspaper would do. Sponsoring white tie balls with champagne receptions at Cambridge – with tickets going at £350 a pair.
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Think you know your movie mobsters from real-life mafioso? Here’s an offer you can’t refuse.
http://bit.ly/MoborNot
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>> Sky fall <<
Yet more Clarkson
Desperate media spinning from the Clarkson camp this week suggests that all the talk about him having no problems walking straight onto another channel might have been a little short-sighted.
Sources at Sky say despite his closeness to the Murdoch empire (column in the Sun; friend of Rebekah Brooks) they’d have some problems offering him a deal. Legal problems. For if Andy Gray and Richard Keys lost their jobs after ostensibly bullying junior colleagues – with “unacceptable and offensive behaviour” – how could they welcome Jezza and not risk Keys’ and Gray’s legal bods revisiting their case?
Seems like it’s not just the BBC who are anxiously awaiting the results of its investigation…
The Mail on Sunday magazine asked Jo Wood: “Who do you most despise?” Her answer: “The people making genetically modified food.”
>> Heart of glass <<
No escape from lost love
GH writes:
“I’ve an addition to your Patsy Kensit spot. You’d think Mauritius would be far enough away to avoid any reminders of her former beau, so let’s hope she didn’t visit one of island’s finer tourist attractions, The Mauritius Glass Gallery.
“Inside is quite the collection of celebrity hand prints cast in glass. Most are of famous French folk, but there’s a very few British faces, and hands. Among them Liam Gallagher, in a dressing gown and looking fairly glum.”
Jim Kerr’s friends have a charming nickname for him. They call him “Fatty Kerr”.
>> Eurovisual aids <<
The one good sign
All 40 countries have announced their entries for this year’s Eurovision and we’ve got to say we’re feeling a little uninspired by the selection.
Thank heavens then for Tommy Krångh – the Swedish sign language translator who put his whole heart and soul into his interpretations at last weekend’s Melodifestivalen. Even though he’s not eligible for the prize, he’s already the real winner in our eyes.
Ready to see the best sign language performance since Nelson Mandela’s memorial?
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Foo Fighters play Wembley Stadium on 19/20th June. Popbitch readers can enjoy some of the best views in the house from premium seats in the Bobby Moore section. Drinks-based hospitality packages available from £199pp (inc VAT). 0208 795 9540 for tickets, or visit http://bit.ly/1xykzlF
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>> Hmmms <<
Zebras, Kindles, circumcision
Interesting eye-witness you’ve got there, Norfolk:
http://bit.ly/1EqTyDc
James Franco, being an absolute bell once again:
http://bit.ly/1B01Ekb
Could James Franco have nicked his whole pretentious author act off Macaulay Culkin?
http://bit.ly/1FD1SUu
Type in a sentence; hear it spoken out by a bunch of film clips:
https://www.crumbles.co/
Sir Trevor McDonald gives a behind the scenes account of his run-in with the Mafia:
http://bit.ly/MafiaWithTrevorQandA
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Thanks: monstris, MMc, meow, pauly, NR, G, AM, ulysses, GH, B, SA, RP
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Old Jokes Home:
Q/ What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
A/ Well, there’s the flag. That’s a big plus.
Still Bored?
Are Saga and Shredded Wheat affecting the album charts? The success of new Northern Soul compilation Move On Up suggests so…
http://bit.ly/1BZlroQ
