************************************
PLEDGE DRIVE UPDATE
Apologies if you tried and failed to donate on Monday. Such was your generosity PayPal stopped taking payments (thanks!) but we’re back up now and we’ll send anyone who donates before Monday a three-part Best Of 15 Years special:
http://bit.ly/SupportPopbitch
************************************
“Exes can be mad but just know I never let them play with my ass… I don’t do that… I stay away from that area all together” – Kanye West
POPBITCH _ _ _ _
_ __ ___ _ __ | |__ (_) |_ ___| |__
| ‘_ \ / _ \| ‘_ \| ‘_ \| | __/ __| ‘_ \
| |_) | (_) | |_) | |_) | | || (__| | | |
| .__/ \___/| .__/|_.__/|_|\__\___|_| |_|
|_| |_|04.02.16 ISSUE 771
Free email every week
Subscribe http://eepurl.com/XSZoP
Email stories hello@popbitch.com
* Phil Collins’ wuff justice
* HRH Phil’s Great Vampire Squad
* Charts: Zayn 1D is no 1
>> Party pooper <<
Hello, Wolverhampton!
Jason “Jason Derulo” Derulo has been pissing off huge swathes of provincial clubland on his recent arena tour.
His management booked him to host after-parties at clubs near venues he’s been playing at. Yet despite sending the clubs incredibly specific and technical riders (detailing the exact equipment Derulo would require to perform a live set) what he’s mainly done in exchange for his fee is turn up with his entourage and stand in the corner of the room playing Candy Crush on his phone.
The one time he did manage to engage with the crowd it was to shout “Hello, Wolverhampton!” into the DJ’s mic.
Which he did in Worcester.
Panorama has an aptly named new researcher. One named James Saville.
>> Mouthing off <<
What Katie said next
If media personalities are bad at one thing, it’s at offering sincere apologies for their bad behaviour.
Except for Katie Price, that is. She offered this full and frank apology to the cast of the panto she starred in on opening night.
“Sorry I’ve been such a cunt in rehearsals. To make it up to you all, I am having a party and you are all invited to come… in my mouth!”
Bless.
Duncan from Blue goes by the name ‘Spunkydunk’ on Snapchat.
>> Big Questions <<
Who’s asking what this week?
Buoyed by a recent win in the courts, which downmarket celeb hanger-on is trying his luck with a series of lawsuits, attempting to sue anyone who has run a story about him in the last three years?
************************************
RIHANNA – THE ANTI WORLD TOUR comes to Wembley Stadium, 24 June. With general tickets sold out, Popbitch readers can enjoy the best seats in the house and all food and drink included. VIP hospitality packages from 339GBP (inc VAT). 0208 795 9540 for tickets, or: http://bit.ly/1R5NtXI
************************************
>> United we stand <<
How not to manage a club
Fans were quick to blame the Chelsea players for getting Jose Mourinho sacked but the darkest moments of his last days affected a lot more of the club.
The crunch came when he issued a demand forbidding everyone except the first team squad from using the main training facilities at Cobham. Leading to the awkward situation of the club juniors and reserves getting their physio treatment at the local authority swimming pool nearby.
GQ seem to have “borrowed” the David Beckham-with-mohican cover from The Face in 2001. (Some old Face staffers are none too impressed to see their work re-used in this way).
>> Phil the eeeek! <<
Great vampire squad
You’d think by the age of 94 it wouldn’t be possible to still do something gossip-worthy, but good tales have been coming out of Windsor Castle about Prince Philip.
Phil’s taken to travelling around the grounds in a black carriage drawn by four black horses. Combined with his increasingly papery and pale skin, we’re told he’s giving off some pretty strong vampire vibes.
And remember Col Gadaffi’s Amazonian guards? Nothing on HRH’s sexy female footmen.
Bad news for the Queen’s horse breeding programme. The National Stud has an outbreak of herpes.
>> Terry’s towelling <<
Hair today, gone tomorrow
King of Sweden writes:
“A friend’s mother used to work with Terry Wogan at a bank before he became famous. His hair was thinning in those days and she was surprised to see him later on TV with a full head of hair. Turns out he had several hairpieces of varying length to give the impression it was his own hair at different stages of natural growth.”
FYI: The only gossip we got on Wogan that was even slightly contentious is that the ladies in his village didn’t care for how he cut the queue at the local butcher’s at Xmas when picking up his turkey.
Claire from Steps has been offering signed photos of herself on Twitter in exchange for astroturf.
>> Wuff justice <<
Swiss tease for Jack
Phil Collins has been getting a more positive re-appraisal in the press this last week since he made amends with his third wife. But here at Popbitch we’ve had a soft spot for Phil since way back at the Golden Globes, January 2000.
Phil won best song for You’ll Be In My Heart (from Tarzan). He stepped up to accept the award and thanked his family. Then stopped speaking and just barked “Woof woof!” for his dog Jack back home.
(Sadly, Jack missed Phil’s tribute because the awards were not televised that year in Switzerland.)
************************************
NEW HIBOO MESSAGING APP Hiboo is a messaging app which lets you see what your friends type while they’re typing. Embrace the only messenger that’s close to real-life conversation: http://bit.ly/1nPjZSy
************************************
>> Memories of Koc <<
The tributes flooded in
After informing you all of the sad early demise of Mustafa Koc in the last issue, many of you wrote in to tell us we missed your favourite Koc facts.
So here we go:
In Azerbaijan, Koc worked with a local software partner by the name of Giz. Meaning that engineers had to sit through meetings about “Giz Koc Holdings” while keeping a straight face.
Koc Holdings also had a fabulously titled subsidiary company: Arcelik.
Us Weekly reports that “Rita Ora and Gerard Butler enjoyed a romantic night together at a four star hotel in January”. FOUR STAR? What a fall from dating $200m Calvin Harris.
>> Arabian flights <<
Living the high life
Natalie Imbruglia’s recent comeback didn’t exactly set the charts on fire, but it looks like she’s still popular in certain parts of the world.
On Monday, her flight from London to Abu Dhabi was delayed due to a technical issue. Everyone – even in first class – was forced to wait at check-in for about an hour. But not Natalie. She was somehow VIP enough to skip the queue.
Then, when the flight landed, she had a little golf buggy waiting for her to whisk her through the airport.
She must have friends in some pretty high places…
Great fact from Record Of The Day: The director of David Bowie’s last video, Johan Renck, used to be Stakka Bo (Here We Go, 1993).
>> Child friendly <<
Who wants to party?
The Yewtree years have been pretty hard on the old school celebs who prefer their bananas green, so to speak.
So here’s a little good news for them. One of London’s best known sex clubs is hosting a special “Children’s Party” themed event in March.
Costumes are mandatory and the organisers suggest you draw inspiration from things like Dora The Explorer, The Magic Roundabout, Pokemon, or the old TOTP DJ’s favourite film… 13 Going on 30.
Serena Williams’ order at Cafe E Cucina, Melbourne. Starter, main course, dessert… and then ten garlic king prawns to go.
>> Hmmms <<
Trumpets, Kylie, dogsex
Local News Of The Week – Ipswich and the attack of the giant teddy bear cloud:
http://bit.ly/1PCetNs
Forget Trump’s tweeting; the Chechen leader is sending death threats on Instagram:
http://bit.ly/1PWneUB
They’d only just recovered from the ‘player pissing in his own gob’ scandal; now Australian rugby league has a fresh new dog-fucking one:
http://ab.co/1S2qWvL
************************************
Thanks to: E, R, CA, BSJ, dev, SG, tamara_bumpdeay, deep_stoat, AP, SK, AM, abominablehoman, monstris
************************************
Old Jokes Home:
I’ve just bought Bonnie Tyler’s Great Goalkeepers DVD.
It’s totally clips of Joe Hart.
Still Bored?
As it’s Super Bowl Sunday – How pop stars have changed the Star Spangled Banner:
http://bit.ly/1nJd8cR
