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Mary Beard puts fear into the heart of Twitter trolls and joy into ours. Talking all things Ancient Rome, 28th Oct, at the Royal Geographical Society. Come listen, question and appear fantastically clever. 15GBP tickets with promo code ROME:
http://bit.ly/1QreIsB
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“There isn’t a reason why I like breasts, they’re just nice” – Karen Danczuk
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|_| |_|15.10.15 ISSUE 758
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* Farewell, Danny Cohen!
* Olly Murs lends an ear
* Charts: Bieber still no 1?
>> Monster mash <<
Going bump in the night
Twilight fans look away now.
Kristen Stewart was overheard telling a friend that one of the reasons things didn’t work out with R-Patz was because he was “so big it hurt”.
The one game that Ranulph Fiennes takes on his expeditions? Boggle.
>> Big Questions <<
Who’s asking what this week?
Which former newsreader has struggled to make friends since leaving the spotlight? Greeting new acquaintances with such charming openers as “I don’t care what your name is, what job do you do?” isn’t really helping matters.
Paris Hilton has just released her 19th fragrance, and has a 20th all lined up for release in 2016.
>> Slim pickings <<
Harper stays sharp
Despite recent media claims of marital disharmony, the Beckhams still seem to be sticking together through Thick’n’Thin. In fact, they showed up together at a posh Cotswolds prep school with Harper recently.
Beaudesert Park is more used to teaching royal sprogs than celebrity ones though. The school itself is just down the road from Princess Anne’s gaff, and boasts Zara Phillips as an alumna. Zara and her brother Peter both send their offspring there now too.
Brit actor Leo Gregory was spotted jumping the queue for the EasyJet flight from Ibiza last Friday. He was also heard calling people “bruv” in a faux-Jamaican accent.
>> Foot in mouth <<
Loose lips sink ships
Tim Howard might be the most recent premier league player to beg a girl to get an abortion, but he’s not the most famous.
One premier league star chatted freely with a popstar at an event. The footballer had presumably forgotten he was miked, and that the sound technicians could hear him, as he told this singer the story of how he dealt with one pregnancy by sending his mate round to pick the woman up on his motorbike and whisk her straight off to a private clinic, all at his expense.
The poor popstar who made this footballer feel comfortable enough to tell all the gory details even though they had just met?
Olly Murs.
Alan Yentob’s home WiFi network is called YENTOB.
>> Oh, Danny boy! <<
Getting roasted by the Sun
Danny Cohen’s departure from the BBC will give the Sun yet another opportunity to stick the boot into the Beeb.
Like they did in November 2011, when Danny Cohen announced a special episode of Jim’ll Fix It to be hosted by Shane Richie.
The Sun was absolutely furious.
Furious that Cohen hadn’t made the tribute to “Sir Jimmy” anywhere near big enough.
“It’s disgusting,” ran one published quote. “Jimmy has only just died, for goodness sake. He will be spinning in his grave. Shane Richie is a nice enough man, but he’s no Jimmy Savile.”
Why is Cohen leaving? TV industry consensus is that he’s getting out before his digital relaunch of BBC3 takes place – in case it’s as much of a disaster as everyone predicts.
>> Factory settings <<
So what’s in a name?
Interesting to see early X Factor favourite Louisa has already dropped her unwieldy Twitter handle @louisajohnson0 in favour of the much snappier @louisa.
Impressive work on snagging that name for yourself, Louisa!
London Zoo’s meerkat keeper – who attacked her monkey handler rival for the love of the llama keeper –
was sentenced this week to a 12 month community order.
>> Blog have mercy <<
The chemsex comeback kid
Remember Max Gogarty – the gap year travel writer from 2008, whose Nathan Barley-esque travel blog for the Guardian got absolutely ripped apart by readers?
Max’s experience at the time was so awful that his father told the press “He has said to me that he doesn’t like the media world now. He doesn’t want to go into it any more.”
Seems like Max has grown up to be made of sterner stuff. Because having cut his teeth working for Vice, he is now working at BBC3 and has a documentary about chemsex coming out this autumn.
Fingers crossed it gets a better reception than his travel blog.
This week’s number one single, by Justin Bieber, was only the seventh best selling – but got loads and loads of Spotify/Deezer streams.
>> Judgement Dan <<
Can we get a Woot Woot?
Congratulations to the Sun’s gossip columnist Dan Wootton on the shout-out he got in the recent CAN Associates trial.
A lot of the coverage of that trial focused on Peter Andre being labelled as an “unconvincing witness” whose evidence was “a complete fabrication”.
But the judge did also take time to mention that Dan played a part in all of the unpleasantness too, by helping CAN’s Claire Powell spread false rumours about her ex having an affair with Kerry Katona – work that the judge said “can only be described as stirring things up”. Which was a much kinder turn of phrase than Powell’s ex, Neville Hendricks, managed. He just described him (in the official court judgement) as “that wanker Dan Wootton”.
FYI: After the judge’s devastating verdict, Peter Andre responded in the papers, “I was telling the truth”. And who did he go to with this big exclusive? His old mate Dan Wootton, of course!
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Dina Martina at Soho Theatre. Packed with songs, dance, costumes & video. Popbitch discount – Mon-Thu tickets just 10GBP (5GBP off). Until 24 Oct. Use promo code “gifts”:
http://bit.ly/1G7pJiC
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>> Hmmms <<
Dicks, cops, tapestry
David Bowie’s 7-inch vinyl Space Oddity re-release was the UK’s second highest physical sale last week. With 670 copies.
http://on.fb.me/1ZFzGKf
Want to buy an original Aleister Crowley from Neil Pearson?
http://bit.ly/1Qwvfv8
When the Met Police played football this week, two very curious players scored:
http://bit.ly/1NehgJY
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Thanks to: posh_duckhunter, JC, T, badbum61, BB, GS, SA, F, honk,
* Last week’s hippo-zippo old joke is not nearly as old as we thought. It was by stand-up Masai Graham, (@MasaiGraham) so please do credit him if/when you use it.
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Old Jokes Home:
I hate it when job interviewers ask me “Where do you see yourself in five years’ time?”
I mean, it’s not like I have 2020 vision…
Still Bored?
A dissection of what lessons are being taught in teacher-pupil porn movies:
http://bit.ly/1jCQsce
