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Bank Holiday Monday, 25 May, Conway Hall, 6pm. Come hear five speakers. Irvine Welsh, Viv Albertine (The Slits) Leslee Udwin (India’s Daughter) Itay Talgam (conductor) David Spiegelhalter (who makes statistics fascinating). Tickets 15GBP with promo code FIVE:
http://bit.ly/1FgGNQC
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“We’re not against the US. I’m an admirer of Eric Clapton and Jimi Hendrix” – Nicolas Maduro
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|_| |_|23.04.15 ISSUE 735
Free email every week
Subscribe http://eepurl.com/XSZoP
Email stories hello@popbitch.com
* The new Grant Shapps
* Daily Mail sex diaries
* Charts: Wiz K still no 1
>> Guess who’s back <<
XFM’s dog’s breakfast
If you think Global Radio signing up Katie Hopkins for talk-station LBC is an insane move, do keep an eye out for the new XFM Breakfast Show presenter coming in September.
Rumour is it’s a done deal…
…for Chris Moyles.
A halal sex shop is opening in Mecca but won’t stock vibrators as Islam does not allow them.
>> Lost and found <<
The Mail’s sex diarist
You’d have thought that after all those Ian Watkins paedo stories, the Daily Mail would have nothing more to do with lostprophets – but no.
Who should appear in the Mail’s State Of The Nation sex poll, discussing the sex diary he kept with his (of legal age) wife?
Why, the uncredited guitarist from lostprophets, Lee Gaze!
Someone who works in London construction projects told us “The Shard is sinking”.
>> Big Questions <<
Who’s asking what this week?
Which party’s election guru is finding new ways of alienating colleagues? They were overheard shouting down their predecessor with the gloriously Thick Of It line: “You are last year – I’m this year’s thing. Now fuck off!”
Jason Manford spotted in Brighton, desperately trying to be recognised by going into ShakeAway and hassling customers stood at the counter.
>> The new Grant Shapps? <<
Mak, Daddy of the new intake
Alan Mak is the candidate all set to take over from David Willett in the safe Tory seat of Havant, Hampshire on May 7th. But we’re pleased to say he could be the new Grant Schapps as well. Wherever he goes confusion seems to reign over his credentials.
Mak claims to have been an entrepreneur with proven business success, but Political Scrapbook say they can find no evidence of this. Or even that the quotes supporting him on his candidate’s CV from The Telegraph and other publishers were, in fact, real.
Alas, tales of fabrication and confusion have dogged poor Al for years. Back when he was at Cambridge he was forced to resign as Ents Officer of the Union when he was accused of financial misconduct – an “innocent mistake”, he claimed. And was stopped from running for President after allegations of attempting to bribe Union members to vote for him. Also “a mistake”.
As, perhaps, was Havant’s selection process…
Stereo Kicks, the populous boyband of last season’s X Factor, have finally put out their debut single. It’s as dull as you were expecting.
>> Testicular chancer <<
A is for Arnold. And Adolf.
What is it with right-wing Austrian politicians?
soapy_handerton writes:
“I was out with a bodybuilder last night who says Arnold Schwarzenegger is missing a testicle.”
Diane Keaton directed the video for Belinda Carlisle’s Heaven Is A Place On Earth.
>> Get Carter! <<
The Unstoppable Hex Machine
Sony Pictures have sent round to publications a snotty legal letter via infamous law firm Carter Ruck. They warn that using the Wikileaks emails goes against the IPSO editor’s code. Bearing in mind how much is already out in the public domain… is this the best case yet of stable door closing/horse already bolted?
FYI: If anyone’s got a better late legal letter, email hello@popbitch.com
We were offered jam this week made with fruit scrimped from a BBC presenter’s garden. John Pienaar’s plums, to be exact.
>> Oslo news day <<
Way to go, young Kygo
Good to see Norwegian producer Kygo finally starting to sell a lot of his own records, after providing so many memorable remixes for other people over the past couple of years.
Unlike many of the top remixers, who wouldn’t get out of bed without a six figure sum waved in their face, child-DJ Kygo doesn’t bother getting in touch with a record label to offer his services. He just chooses whatever track he fancies, and works his remix magic. Then he’ll just upload it to his Facebook page and let people download it for free. Which is the first time the artist – or more amusingly, their label, knows about it.
Be interesting to see if he still does it this way now he’s got the Coachella seal of approval.
Gary Barlow’s musical is playing in the theatre next door to the New York Church Of Scientology.
>> Father figures <<
Closing the age gap
After years of seeing women cast inappropriately age-wise, (e.g. Angelia Jolie cast as Colin Farrell’s mother despite only being one year older than him) it looks like equality has an unlikely footsoldier in Guy Ritchie. He is taking a similar approach casting male actors in his latest movie. Eric Bana is playing dad to Charlie Hunnan. Which would have made Bana a father at just 11 years old.
FYI: Word from the set of the movie is that Djimon Hounsou is “a very nice bloke” and Eric Bana is “a bit intense”.
This year’s holiday reading is sorted. The autobiography of Richard Desmond: out on 18th June.
>> Gang mentality <<
Live like a real rock star
Mick Jones’ band of proteges, the Rotten Hill Gang, have finally released an album but it hasn’t made the splash people expected.
Maybe it’s got something to do with a series of parties at their West London studio which, legend has it, always ended with everyone getting so trashed that nobody could play their instruments, so started passing out or fighting instead?
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Name of Thrones: Royal Baby Bets! Name? Date? Weight? Hair colour? You name it, you can guess it:
http://bit.ly/1OKzTDH
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>> ELECTION NIGHT <<
Message from us to you
We’re thinking of organising an election night watching party in London, on 7th May. Dinner/drinks/quiz/TV etc.
And BAR OWNERS – if you’re a London bar/restaurant with a lateish license, maybe a private room, and fancy hosting this – email feedback@popbitch.com
Hungarian Lesson of the Week: puszi (pusy) means a casual kiss; kiss (kiss) means small.
>> Hmmms <<
Heavies, Ryanair, Imbruglia
Remember N-N-N-N Nineteen? Paul Hardcastle is re-releasing it for its 30th anniversary. Profits are going to PTSD charity Talking2Minds:
http://bit.ly/1d3Vk70
Need some heavies to sort out a problem for you? There’s an app for that:
http://bit.ly/1DQRI0S
Chortle hedging their bets on Russell Brand:
http://bit.ly/1Qm4riF
Have Ryanair gone all UKIP? They seem to think Brussels is actually in the UK…
http://bit.ly/1OJgcMs
Best town sign ever?
http://bit.ly/1EuYInM
This isn’t Natalie Imbruglia’s first mention in Popbitch this year, but it is the first for her music career:
https://youtu.be/nkBxRHvdvXM
Recommending Julian Assange’s book reviews isn’t something we’d usually do, but this is kind of fun:
http://bit.ly/1HZ5hOR
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Thanks: JE, B, JS, RB, EN, P, AA, mountstnobody, HC, ME, AV, AM, whitemaninhammersmithpalais, E
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Old Jokes Home:
My local ice cream man was found dead in his van. He was covered in strawberry sauce and hundreds and thousands, and had a flake sticking out of his ear.
Police say he topped himself.
Still Bored?
The scientists using dead bodies and sawdust to make compost? Katrina Spade and Lynne Carpenter-Boggs:
http://nyti.ms/1Eu38eB
