************************************
Get London’s best food delivered to your door! Makeover your Christmas menu with 20GBP off at Hubbub.co.uk – the award-winning delivery service from independent shops, producers and market stalls. Just add 50GBP of food and drink to your basket and pop in your special Popbitch discount code! Use code PB20 at Hubbub.co.uk
http://bit.ly/1TCPadg
************************************
“I have claimed to be nothing other than a simple guy who likes to eat, sleep, and watch TV, who also bangs chicks for a living” – James Deen
POPBITCH _ _ _ _
_ __ ___ _ __ | |__ (_) |_ ___| |__
| ‘_ \ / _ \| ‘_ \| ‘_ \| | __/ __| ‘_ \
| |_) | (_) | |_) | |_) | | || (__| | | |
| .__/ \___/| .__/|_.__/|_|\__\___|_| |_|
|_| |_|10.12.15 ISSUE 766
Free email every week
Subscribe http://eepurl.com/XSZoP
Email stories hello@popbitch.com
* Popbitch Xmas message
* Pornhub gets Randy
* Charts: Sigala v Bieber
>> Courting danger <<
Is the price right?
After three years of legal fighting (and almost double that watching them slinging shit at each other in the gossip mags) the ultimate celebrity court battle is just six weeks away: Katie Price v Peter Andre!
Finally we’ll get to hear all those “explosive” revelations they’ve been promising us for so long – including the “real reason” Peter split from Katie.
Or will we?
Worrying rumours are emanating from one of the two camps that a deal has been struck and everything is about to be settled in private.
Which, if true, is the most disappointing end to a six year waffle-fest since Lost.
An anagram of Donald Trump is Damp Old Runt.
>> Big Questions <<
Who’s asking what this week?
Which celebrity husband hasn’t helped rumours about his marriage by re-employing the staff member that his wife recently fired? It hasn’t done much to allay fears that he’s been knobbing the help again.
************************************
Connection at St Martin’s does brilliant work with the homeless in London. Donate a fiver now and buy Xmas lunch for someone: http://bit.ly/1N6nAmR
************************************
>> A Christmas message <<
Help Colonel Abrams
CW writes:
“It’s hard to believe Trapped, by Colonel Abrams came out 30 years ago! One of the greatest pre-house dance tunes. Abrams, complete with gold-trimmed military outfit on TOTP, seemed impossibly cool to a 14 year old music fan in Plymouth.
“But this is not just to remind you of the anniversary of a song that still sounds so fresh and brilliant. The Colonel needs help.
“He’s ill and homeless, and friends have set up a crowd-funding campaign. God of house music, Marshall Jefferson, this week even suspended his own Kickstarter to raise money for the Colonel.
“A lot of contemporary artists, labels and producers have got rich off the back of pioneers like Abrams and Jefferson. It’s time to give back.”
Buy the track and make it an unlikely Xmas hit?
http://apple.co/1NI9x8O
The best thing about Colonel Abrams? His real name is… Colonel Abrams!
>> Nutsjob <<
Pornhub gets Randy
What a year its been for Randy Quaid. After being exiled in Canada, arrested for trying to get back into the States, jailed, and then released, you’d think the Hollywood nutjob would want to slope off to enjoy a little bit of peace and quiet.
Thankfully, Randy’s made of sterner stuff. And so is celebrating instead in a full length fur coat, naked and full frontal. On Pornhub. (NSFW, obviously)
Good news for boozers: boffins are about to announce binge drinking is no worse for your body than steady, sensible drinking. Bad news? Weekly recommended limits will be dropping.
>> Soulby City <<
Hugh’s a vocal critic
Actors have been grumbling on the set of the BBC’s medical drama Holby City about the quality of the scripts they’ve been getting.
One of the most outspoken has been actor Hugh Quarshie (who plays Ric Griffin on the show). He was overheard saying to the director:
“They’re writing pop music lyrics. You don’t get a soul singer to do a pop song.”
Michael Stipe is using “art teacher” as his job description these days.
>> Miami feat <<
Beckham Utd takes shape
David Beckham may finally have a site for his Miami soccer club.
So after striking out three times what’s changed? To quote the Miami City Commissioner: “I think they finally figured out you don’t lead with the press conference”.
And it seems Beckham and his backers have agreed to own the real estate/stadium. Previous deals relied on the local government owning it. The difference? As the Miami Herald put it, if the city was the landlord, they wouldn’t have had to pay property tax.
Miami zoo was shut this week. Heavy rain might allow the animals to just swim out of their enclosures.
>> A fair cop <<
Policing Brisbane
Queensland police were all over the media last week talking about the danger of drugs, piling the warnings on thick about huge drugs checks, sniffer dogs and the like in Brisbane’s Stereosonic festival last weekend.
That didn’t stop 139 people being busted for drugs there. Including one Queensland police officer.
The Libertines tour news, Hong Kong. P-Do ended up dazed from a smack in the mouth by the Swervedriver singer, after he took a swing at him.
>> Private, aye <<
Score or own goal?
Last week it was Sandra Bullock making legal threats to “protect her privacy” (i.e. protect her exclusive interview deal with People magazine).
This week it’s the turn of footballer Jamie Vardy.
An almost exact replica of the Bullock letter (with the names changed) winged its way out of Harbottle & Lewis’
offices forbidding any stories and photos.
So is this just a statement that he’s now in the same league as other England stars like Gerrard, Hart, Crouch etc?
Or are we to assume the media were endangering that Hollywood movie deal exclusive to tell his rags-to-riches story we’ve been reading so much about?
************************************
Kim Noble’s You’re Not Alone, is a different kind of Xmas show. If you like horses, nudity, and life-affirming humour then join Popbitch Night at Soho Theatre Weds 16 Dec. 20GBP tickets down to 12.50 with code KIMPB:
http://bit.ly/1Ij3cur
************************************
>> Watch out <<
Secret pub quiz ammo
Music industry teams take the Nordoff-Roberts Xmas quiz incredibly seriously.
Last year, Ministry of Sound’s table, led by their ultra-competitive supremo Lohan Prescencer, was heckled for trying to surreptitiously Shazam some of the tracks.
This year there was nothing like that. But we hear some equally competitive, but more secretive execs, got themselves into the groove with the aid of the industry’s current accessory of choice, the Apple watch… complete with pre-loaded Shazam.
Welwyn Garden City’s Christmas lights were switched on by… Alex from UK Eurovision’s Electro Velvet.
******** X Factor Final ***********
>> Factor Off <<
Finally it ends!
It’s your last few days to bet on the outcome – but very few think X Factor’s final will be anything other than the
anointment of the Chosen One, Louisa.
We’re happy to slag them off but it’s only fair this year to say kudos for Reggie & Bollie. A slice of Ghanian sunshine, X Factor producers treated them with respect rather as a laughable novelty act. Even #SadnessInHerEyes Cheryl seemed to have fun.
We’ll be voting for them this week.
Make your bet here. Bet up to 50GBP with Ladbrokes and get a free matched bet:
http://bit.ly/1TgUaoa
************************************
STRICTLY: We think the only threat to Jay is Anita – her partner Gleb is wildly popular. But is that enough for a punt at 10-1?
http://bit.ly/1Xt1td5
************************************
>> Hmmms <<
Koala, dildos, slurry perv
Deaths versus swearwords in Tarantino’s movies:
http://53eig.ht/1NVwDKS
The Redruth slurry perv has a rival – upsetting the families of Cornwall:
http://bit.ly/1OTtSHd
So Trump loses his honorary degree. Let’s take a look at who’s still got theirs:
http://honcausa.blogspot.co.uk
Like drinking? Like theatre? With Thinking Drinkers you can do both at the same time. 12GBP discount tickets – use promo code TIPPLE (on 17/18/19/20 Dec):
http://bit.ly/1Ok7Muy
************************************
Thanks to: PD, JI, TP, ulysses, JW, PD, JD, ulysses, SW, deep_stoat, LM, ZH, D, JK, JI, dickie, 7zark7, T
************************************
Old Jokes Home:
Q/ Why did Adele cross the road?
A/ To say hello from the other side.
Still Bored?
The Sasha Bognibov 2016 Eurovision entry is here and it’s a cracker:
http://bit.ly/1OV3Nr6
