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Three Summer Holiday Breaks
(1) Love the British Open but not the rain and wind? The Belfry – posh room, great food, golf/spa:
http://bit.ly/1OzuP6K
(2) Love wine? Free bottle at Suffolk country hotel
http://bit.ly/1MKc8Mk
(3) Love Michelin Guide, Yorkshire pubs and silly names?
http://bit.ly/1fomd6C
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“People think that I have this huge grudge against Cheryl. And granted, I do” – Katie Waissel
POPBITCH _ _ _ _
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|_| |_|23.07.15 ISSUE 747
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* Cocks and balls at the BBC
* Donald Trump’s inspiration
* Charts: Little Mix still no 1
>> Leech for the stars <<
Paul and Hannah’s jumble sale
The recent S Club 7 comeback tour was a minor triumph, but the profits don’t seem to have trickled down to the band yet. Paul and Hannah have been busy selling memorabilia on eBay.
Paul’s guitar was first to go. Nothing weird there. Then their Access All Area arena passes went up for auction.
But when a printout of the tour itinerary went on eBay, crew members started to raise their eyebrows. After all, that’s the paperwork with everyone’s names, details, management companies and everything else all listed.
Paul and Hannah probably won’t be that bothered though. They got 300 quid for it!
Divorce, country-and-western style. Blake Shelton has just ordered wife, Miranda Lambert, to clear her exotic animals (camel, llama) from their Oklahoma estate.
>> Cubi-culled <<
Stephanie’s shit sack
The reasons that Hollyoaks producers gave for sacking Stephanie Davis last week were ‘lateness’, ‘attendance’
and ‘turning up to set unfit to work because of alcohol consumption’. Stephanie has denied these, but we get the feeling that producers were mainly trying to be discreet.
One of the other alleged reasons that Stephanie lost friends there is because she used to like to take a shit with the toilet door wide open.
Peter Engel – producer of Saved By The Bell and California Dreams – drops his trousers right down to the ankle when using a urinal.
>> Big Questions <<
Who’s asking what this week?
Which Wimbledon favourite is said to be hiding a same-sex love behind a convenient, PR-friendly relationship?
Is Madonna rehearsing for something new? Suddenly loads of musicians and dancers are being seen trooping into her London house…
Longest swearword without vowels? Our guess is “zmrd”. It’s Czech. It translates roughly as “fucker”.
>> Fanny fans? <<
Cocks and Balls at the BBC
One of the BBC’s big summertime dramas is The Scandalous Lady W – where GoT’s Natalie Dormer plays the titular role of Lady Worsley. Lady W isn’t the only racy lady listed on the show’s end credits though.
The show’s executive producer, Eleanor Greene, was better known to colleagues back in her BBC staffer days by her nickname “Cocks and Balls”.
And how does one earn such a nickname? By getting well-oiled at a work drinks do and explaining whether you’d ever enjoy being in a same-sex relationship by shouting:
“I don’t like tits and fanny! I like cocks and balls!”
Reporters covering the Greek crisis enjoyed Paul Mason’s love-in with anarchists and writings on the end of capitalism, all while he stayed at the 5* Athens Intercontinental.
>> Baboon vs Badger <<
Things get political
Six years ago, when he was first standing to be PM David Cameron was posed a question by the Brighton Argus: “Who would win in a fight between a baboon and a badger?”
Cameron, the coward, dodged it. Labour leadership candidate Andy Burnham is made of sterner stuff. “It would be a baboon wouldn’t it? How would a badger be able to win? My money would be on the baboon.”
Hmmm. Underestimating the underdog. Go figure…
Listen to the BvB answer and full Fubar Radio interview:
https://itun.es/i6LC8Hh
Andy Burnham’s favourite song? Courteeners’ Take Over The World. Reason enough to disqualify him from the leadership.
>> Weighty matters <<
The perils of blogging
Article on Huffington Post:
“This is for every woman who has ever been told she’s overweight by a man.”
The suggested post next to it?
“Play the online game that could help you lose 1.5lb in a week!”
Backstage at Latitude, Mark Lamarr holding court in the cabaret area with some loud talk about blowjobs.
>> Another car <<
More Wonder-ful news
anoldrecordingengineer writes:
“I was in LA, engineering a session on which Stevie Wonder was a guest performer. During a break, I overheard Stevie’s two large minders’ conversation.
“‘You were late last night.’ ‘Yeah, I was out driving with Stevie. He took the freeway to Malibu.’
“Not being quite sure what I had heard, I asked them if they meant Stevie had been driving.
“‘Sure he was. Stevie loves driving. We just say left a bit, right here, and so on, and he’s fine’.
“I don’t think they were pulling my leg.”
Another week, another Badly Drawn Boy tantrum. He was pissing and shitting his pants on stage about his five grand fee for Latitude.
>> Rock of ages <<
The Donald’s inspiration?
“He’s not a war hero. He’s a war hero because he was captured. I like people that weren’t captured.” – Donald Trump, on John McCain (2015)
“He a war hero. He a war hero that got captured… I don’t want to vote for nobody that got captured. I want to vote for the motherfucker that got away.” – Chris Rock, on John McCain (2008)
Las Vegas falling out of love with gambling? Twice as much money is made from hotel rooms, drinks, shops and restaurants than casinos.
>> No pain, no gain <<
Lessons from new media #472
If there’s one thing that Gawker deserves a round of applause for this week, it’s how they’ve somehow managed to turn the story of their own messy implosion into a money-making opportunity.
British tabloids are notoriously reticent when it comes to reporting on their own crimes and misdemeanours, but Gawker has stood by its commitment to transparency. Riding the controversy, they chose to write a series of articles about their fuck-ups which has collectively brought in tens of thousands of comments, hundreds of thousands of unique views and millions of page impressions.
So pay attention, old media. Especially you Mirror Group. If your money troubles are as bad as everyone is saying they are, this might be a great way to turn things around. You just need to dish big on Piers Morgan.
FYI: If you haven’t followed the extortion/gay escort/ resignations story:
http://bit.ly/1SE1TLi
Mister Sisters days numbered? Free Pride Glasgow suggested banning drag queens because “the trans and non-binary caucus” complained.
>> Ex Factor <<
Rita Ora’s schooldays
X Factor auditions have become as much a part of mid-summer as the Tour de France and Wimbledon. And alongside them every year comes the inevitable expose of the inner workings of the show by a disgruntled auditionee.
This year’s story? A woman who was at Sylvia Young school with new judge Rita Ora is feverishly encouraged by producers to audition because of her Rita Ora link. Only to then be told she couldn’t be put through… because of her link with with Rita Ora.
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The Last Sparks of Sundown, Prince Charles Cinema, 27-30 July. 5 POUNDS (usually 11 GBP). Code ‘Popbitch’ 020 7494 3654. Info, trailer here: http://www.thelastsparksofsundown.com
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>> Hmmms <<
Pride, carpets, Danan
Did Putin sell out Greece to get in Merkel’s good books over Ukraine?
http://bv.ms/1g80yR5
Pride And Prejudice with The Onion headlines:
http://bit.ly/1Or3svz
Tumblr of the week – Wetherspoons Carpets:
http://bit.ly/1IedhOh
PBHQ is almost overcome with excitement at the suggestion that Danan might be in Celeb Big Brother. Also good news for this brilliant Paul Danan lookalikes:
http://bit.ly/1RTBNZB
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Thanks to: Gentlemanthug, cat, SG, AOC, B, H, PS, T, LF, JW, JB, TL, party_b
Sorry puffin lovers. Puffin stroking in Norwich Lanes was an April Fool joke. This weekend at the Catton Park Country Show though they claim to have “sheep racing”. Yeah, Norwich. Like we’re going to fall for THAT.
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Old Jokes’ Home
Q/ Did you hear about the chameleon who couldn’t change colour?
A/ He had a reptile dysfunction.
Still Bored?
Want to help fund the Story Of Chumbawamba film on Kickstarter?
http://kck.st/1IfGRwJ
