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Award winning indie comedy, The Last Sparks of Sundown, at London’s finest independent cinema, Prince Charles. See Pajama Men, Miles Jupp and Kayvan Novak, 27-30 July, at a ridiculously low price for Popbitch readers – only 5 POUNDS (usually 11GBP). Call box office with code ‘Popbitch’ 020 7494 3654. Info, trailer here: http://www.thelastsparksofsundown.com
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“I like to think of myself as the updated Henry VIII” – Nigel Farage
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|_| |_|16.07.15 ISSUE 746
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* Badly Drawn Out Boy
* Lewis Hamilton: Box fresh
* Charts: Little Mix to be no 1
>> Sterling work II <<
Another dip in the ‘pool
Last week we told you that Raheem Sterling’s table decided to go against everyone else in the room and stay seated through the standing ovation for Steven Gerrard’s Outstanding Contribution Award at the Liverpool players’ end of season dinner last month. “No!” people said. “That can’t be right. Not even Raheem would dare to do that.”
It’s true though. And here are the photos that show it:
http://bit.ly/1SpvsQF
Mhairi Black celebrated her maiden House of Commons speech with friends at Camden’s Grand Union pub.
>> Love games <<
Ever Bin Haddi?
Karen and Simon Danczuk have more rumours flying around them than Brangelina or the Beckhams ever did in their prime.
We’ll start at the lighter end of the scale. Remember earlier this year when Karen offered herself up as a date for charity? She said the lucky winner had bid 10 grand, but then claimed he couldn’t make the date.
The tale goes that the winner asked to meet at Robin Hood Airport and then never turned up. The winner’s name? Sheikh Effa Bin Haddi.
A tabloid hack’s joke. Rather than run the story that she’d been stitched up, the hack got Karen to offer up some other revelations instead.
But sad though it is when any couple breaks up, you needn’t be too sympathetic when all their tell-all tabloid stories break. The Danczuks set up a media company together last year – so whenever one of them sells a story about the other hopefully they’ll both get their 50% cut.
New! magazine has dropped Chantelle Houghton as a columnist – but Peter Andre is still on staff. This week, he offers his thought(s) on the Greek bailout crisis.
>> Big Questions <<
Who’s asking what this week?
Which shit-hot TV producer is really making the most of his show’s popularity – by taking a leaf out of the Bryan Singer book of Casting Couch Etiquette? (He’s a top, btw, if you’re interested in auditioning…)
In a week when the BBC needs all the friends it can get, do you really think announcing Ian Wright as new pundit is a good plan, MOTD bosses?
>> Business class travel <<
Celebrities: Just like us
Dominic Monaghan has left his Hobbit days behind him and now presents a TV show about bugs and snakes around the world.
So what does a Hollywood acting star do on his filming trips to South America? Pretty much what every gap-year trustafarian hippie wants to do – go to an Amazon retreat and take ayahuasca.
And then proceed to tell every other western traveller he then meets about his transcendental experience (“I was sick but, whoa, such clarity, such enlightenment, such healing, whoa…” etc)
BBC’s Danny Cohen is burnishing his “man of the people” credentials with his summer holiday choice. He’s off to stay at Larry Page’s house.
>> Starr witness <<
Freddie’s Judgement Day
Freddie Starr’s recent libel case couldn’t really have gone much worse for him. The judge didn’t appear to believe a word that Starr said, and delivered a pretty damning judgement.
There was one silver lining though. The judge did permit Starr to publicly correct an inaccuracy he somehow managed to put in his own autobiography.
The book says that when he first met one of his wives he said, “Hello, Sandy. Can I play with your fur purse?”
Starr claims that this is inaccurate. What he actually asked was if he could “play with her fur clitoris.”
Much sexier.
Lionel Messi has a collection of thousands of cellphones.
>> Train of thought <<
Badly Drawn Out Boy
John Shuttleworth recently did a charity gig to raise money for multiple sclerosis. So many comedians and musicians volunteered that it overran, and it was around 10pm before the interval.
First up in the second half? A very refreshed Badly Drawn Boy. Instead of breaking into song he did a convoluted anecdote about buying sandwiches on a train.
The crowd started to heckle, to which BDB shouted back “Fuck you all. I’m not being paid for this.”
In the end Shuttleworth had to come on to stop people walking out.
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This weekend is Fish ‘o’ Mania XXII at Cudmore Fisheries. The world’s best anglers battle it out to catch the biggest fish. Sponsors Coral are offering new customers 5/1 that a fish is caught! Don’t carp, take the bait! http://bit.ly/1J24n5h
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>> Kicking the CAN <<
Substituting Neville
Infamous PR firm CAN Associates are in court this week. Former partner Neville claims he was unfairly ‘eased out’ of his lucrative job making Peter Andre’s TV show after splitting from his partner, Claire Powell.
You might think there’s no real future for a company called CAN if (C)laire (A)nd (N)eville are no longer a team, but if there’s one thing Claire Powell knows, it’s the value of good branding.
CAN was originally set up by Claire Powell and someone called Nigel. When Nigel left the company (under similarly acrimonious circumstances) it didn’t stop Claire. She simply partnered with Neville and CAN International became CAN Associates.
Our prediction? She’ll hitch up with someone named Norman – and CAN Solutions will be trading before the year’s out.
Gone, but not forgotten: Still listed on Outside Organisation PR’s client list? Amy Winehouse and Michael Jackson.
>> Further wonders <<
More eye-opening evidence
The theory that Stevie Wonder isn’t actually blind is not a new one, but we are receiving some increasingly compelling evidence for it.
One London club owner tells a story about how he was at a house party after hours with Stevie when someone brought out a stash of gak. The guy proceeded to chop out five lines – one for everybody in the room.
Stevie’s manager-assistant dutifully walked him across the room to the table and handed him a note. Somehow though, after hoovering up his own portion, Stevie just carried on across the table, perfectly devouring everybody else’s line as well.
The club owner still maintains to this day that the neatness with which Stevie managed to hoover up those lines could only have been achieved if he could have seen each and every one of them.
Lee “Scratch” Perry likes to shit in a champagne glass, then place it in a cabinet in his house or bury it in the backyard.
>> Flash man <<
Thinking out of the box
Dozens of celebrities get invited to the Royal Box at Wimbledon for the Men’s Final. So how do you stand out from the crowd? Well, if you’re a master at PR like Lewis Hamilton, you disregard the stuffy dress code and turn up looking like a fashion plate.
Sure, you might get turned away and miss the match – but where every other celeb only gets a brief ten-second shot on the BBC coverage looking drab in shirt and tie, guess who gets the front page of Monday’s papers dressed up to the nines?
And maybe you don’t actually give much of a fuck about tennis in the first place? In which case, it’s win-win.
Bradley from S Club has a dog called Marley.
>> Former’s market <<
The faded stars of sport
Every year in May, a list of the most marketable sports stars is compiled. But unless you’re already a big star, inclusion on it seems to be a career-kiss of death.
Last year’s top ten featured:
* Grigor Dimitrov (tennis player, knocked out early at Wimbledon, sacked coach)
* Sloane Stephens (tennis player, now ranked number 37)
* Robert Griffin (NFL player, survey pits him at the 31st best quarterback of the new season. Out of 32.)
2015’s number one? Eugenie Bouchard. It’s not like her career could stall any more than it has since last year’s Wimbledon final – but, still, she’s blonde and beautiful.
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Hampshire Manor stay with 7 course tasting menu, English breakfast, tea and scones (and a free round of golf if you can still stand up…) 149GBP for two:
http://bit.ly/1V6DOkc
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>> Hmmms <<
Koalas, bumholes, Nic Cage
Cycling scandals – is a mechanical doping story about to break?
http://bit.ly/1K8UO39
Finley Quaye’s comeback not off to a great start:
http://bit.ly/1f6v0tF
SeaWorld is so desperate for good PR they’re using a naked Tom Daley:
http://bit.ly/1GnL28i
The new break out star from YouTube is a blue Brazilian chicken:
http://bloom.bg/1K9w5yI
Delicious coffee delivered to your door? Try Pact for 1GBP!
http://bit.ly/1bPcUeR
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Thanks to: GHK, terminalnoob, D, LH, Ulysses, anon, C, EN, monstris, jack_ryan
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Old Old Jokes’ Home
Angela Merkel arrives in Athens airport.
“Nationality?” asks the immigration officer.
“German,” she replies.
“Occupation?”
“No, just here for a few days.”
Still Bored?
The Random Austerity Measure Generator:
http://bit.ly/1K9cV9l
