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The Overnight, out now in cinemas, with Taylor Schilling & Jason Schwartzman, who plays an artist. An artist who makes butthole portraits. Want one? Tell us which movie character would you like to paint you and why. Check out the trailer, artworks and competition:
http://bit.ly/1GQ9bVF
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“We’ll love to have our own show. I want it to be really raw and really flounderable so you can catch it as it’s being filmed” – Sam Faiers
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|_| |_|02.07.15 ISSUE 745
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* Innervision: Stevie’s Secret
* Evgeny Lebedev’s secret stash
* Charts: Tinie Tempah new No. 1
>> Air disaster <<
Good morning, UKay
If we upset you earlier this year with news that Chris Moyles was coming back to breakfast radio with XFM this September, prepare to weep real tears when you find out who’s going to be doing the show after Moyles every weekday.
Vernon Kay.
All we need is for Shed Seven, Dodgy and Phats and Small back as well then we’ll be thinking of taking a gun to our radios. Or our heads.
Composer Michael Nyman has eclectic tastes while he works: it’s either Radio 4 or Jeremy Kyle on TV.
>> Russian doll <<
Evgeny’s secret stash
Like any multi-millionaire eccentric worth his salt, Evgeny Lebedev has a strange secret.
He has a huge dressing up box in his house, and he forces guests to play with him when they’re round for dinner parties and the like.
Not even sex stuff.
Just costumes.
Last week, three people turned up barefoot to the Independent’s daily news conference.
>> Big Questions <<
Who is asking what this week?
Which Brit actor (currently starring in one of the BBC’s acclaimed drama series) liked the make-up artist who spruced him up for a Channel 4 appearance so much that he went home with her in a cab after the show?
A cab that was paid for by the Channel 4 production team who’d booked him.
A cab which he left running on the meter outside, while he did the deed.
Clean Bandit starred at the closing ceremony for the controversial Baku games. And everyone thought that God-awful Cortana advert would be the low-point of their career.
>> Innervision <<
Eighth Wonder of the world
In 2001 we wrote a story which quoted Sam Moore (from Sam and Dave) saying Stevie Wonder wasn’t blind because he liked driving a car.
It turned out we got it wrong. A week later Sam sent a clarification. He’d actually said it about Ray Charles. “Ray would drive,” Sam said, “But people didn’t understand there was somebody in the back, guiding him…”
And then last week we got a call from someone. Someone high up in the music industry. Someone we would tend to believe.
“Guess who I just saw climbing out of the driver’s seat of a car. The DRIVER’S seat!”
That’s right. Stevie Wonder.
That huge New York prison break story – did you see what the NY State trooper in charge of the search was called? Major Guess.
>> Max ReBorne <<
How to kiss and re-sell
Poor old Karen Danczuk. Back in the good old days it would have been easy for a fame-hungry large-chested wannabe to get plastered on the cover of all the red-tops, she’d just call Max Clifford.
But with Maxie languishing in jail what’s a girl to do?
Why, thankfully she can call Max Jnr who, alongside many colleagues from the old Max Clifford Associates, is carrying on the family PR business!
As well as the lovely Karen, Borne Media have also got equally desperate tabloid fodder Lauren Goodger in their (un)stable of clients. Surely the former Mrs Danczuk’s tell-all deal in OK! can’t be too far away. Perhaps she can start with why someone with a history of abuse – and children with a fierce campaigner against celebrity sex abusers – chose such a close link with one of Britain’s most famous sex offenders?
London’s new celeb hotspot? Greggs, Golden Square. Noel Fielding calling somebody a ‘twat’ on the phone plus John Thomson and Chris Kamara. In just two days!
>> Gail Force <<
The new Shane Lee?
Lisa Gail is Texas’ answer to Rebecca Black. And as you’d expect from that part of the world they try and do everything bigger and better.
Watch and listen. And no, it’s not a SNL parody:
http://bit.ly/1HxGr90
Biggest selling songs of 2015 so far: Uptown Funk, Take Me To Church and Cheerleader.
>> Lauren disorder <<
Ralph’s crisis catering
Looks like the Ralph Lauren London summer party is going to be a lot like their Christmas one (which was a
two hour PowerPoint presentation and a glass of wine) – but with one crucial difference:
There’s expected to be a round of redundancies announced as well.
Anticipating staff might go apeshit, caterers are under strict instructions to serve only white wine, as red wine stains are hard to get out of the carpets.
Masterchef’s production crew includes Damian Eggs on lighting and Matt Bacon on Sound.
>> Kauto stir <<
RIP racing legend
News of the sudden death of Kauto Star stunned racing fans this week. There was real sadness. Kauto Star had more personality than any horse we’ve ever seen. His short and sad retirement made us feel much like when you see any sad celebrity demise. Think Peter Falk, Amy Winehouse, Farrah Fawcett. Perhaps, as fans, we feel complicit that we didn’t try and save them from their unhappy fate.
Moved from his home for a shot at Olympic dressage; footage of his dressage trial showed what looked like an unhappy horse. A mysterious injury dismissed as a minor incident, a race to the vet’s days later with no-one told until after the death.
It may just be as simple as “horse hurts himself”, but if he was a Hollywood celebrity TV companies would be rushing to get the full story out.
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Stuck on a staycation summer? Here’s a night out in a country hotel/spa that won’t break the bank:
http://bit.ly/1KvfovX
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>> Trusty Steed <<
RIP Patrick Macnee
Patrick Macnee was a keen nudist. He invited Avengers’ co-star Honor Blackman over for tea once – afterwards he asked her if she wanted to play tennis with him, in the nuddy. She refused.
No sign of the Blairs at their local Connaught Village Festival. But fellow residents Sara Cox and Scott Mills judged the dog show.
>> Shit journalism <<
Making a mess of the facts
Back in May a Glastonbury man was arrested for using a road crossing as a toilet and splashing a small child with his diarrhoea. His defence is that he had such an explosive case of the squits that he had no choice but to defecate where he was standing, and – in doing so – inadvertently caught the five year-old up in the shitstorm.
The sort of story that any town would be proud to call their own.
But certain media outlets – desperate for “Glasto” stories – are either pretending it happened at the festival, even though it took place weeks before, or don’t actually know or care that Glastonbury is the name of a town as well as a festival.
And we’d be interested to see the zebra crossing LadBible thinks runs through Worthy Farm.
http://bit.ly/1H32NxB
“If you have a great song, no-one cares. It’s really nice we finally got together because, regardless of what happened, the song is just amazing.” Rita Ora. On Chris Brown.
>> Sign your name <<
Gina Akers from The Salon
Best email signature we’ve ever seen! Email hello@popbitch.com if you’ve had better. Sorry, it’s long but it’s verbatim:
Gina
Gina Akers from Channel 4’s
The Salon
Tel: XXXXXXXXXX
(TV & Radio Presenter, TV Beauty, Fashion & Image Expert, Beauty & Lifestyle Journalist, PR for Beauty, Lifestyle & Music) Beauty Presenter for ITV’s This Morning Beauty Expert Presenter for BBC 1 TV’s ‘Fake Britain’ X-Factor ‘on tour’ interviewer Fashion Presenter for Irelands RTÉ One Television Channel HELLO! magazine online Blogger PRS for Music Sound Makeover Judge Press Officer for The Underground Orchestra & Orchestra Challenges Press Officer for The Pilton Pop-up Orchestra at Glastonbury Festival PR for Decca Records Geronimo Busking Challenge Radio Co-Presenter for topical talk show ‘The Beard of Zeus’ Drive Time Radio Show Presenter & Producer Lifestyle Editor for FLIC Wiltshire Industry Expert for BBC TV’s Careers Roadshows)
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Fancy two new records delivered each month? The Wax & Stamp guys are offering 15% off when you use code ‘POPBITCH’: http://bit.ly/1R6SArV
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>> Hmmms <<
Mexicans, podcast, porn
Amazing summer racing offer. Better than Brighton Racecourse in August? If it’s only 30 quid for two tickets and a bottle of Prosecco!
http://bit.ly/1NyV1xc
A Jewish group paid Mexicans to dress up as Orthodox Jews and protest gay marriage:
http://bit.ly/1T7ZwCH
A new roller-skating limbo record has been set:
http://bit.ly/1NyzvIU
Shit Pasties. Not bad ones, pasties full of…
http://bit.ly/1FUzDwK
Someone’s crowdsourcing blowjobs. Still a few dozen spots left:
http://bit.ly/1C1lZwJ
The latest episode of podcast To The Manor Borne By Robots features a boy-band and the last rock band on earth:
http://bit.ly/16n83OQ
Popbitch QUIZ – Shoreditch Next Tues 7th July 7pm at Smiths of Spitalfields Buy tickets/reserve a table:
http://bit.ly/1JWU3g1
Pilot’s eye view of flying into Queenstown, NZ:
http://bit.ly/1GQA6ki
Celebrate Independence Day with your very own set of Mount Rushmore drinking heads:
http://bit.ly/1Nz068G
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Bored with Baristas? Try Pact Coffee for 1 Pound. Save money and your sanity…
http://bit.ly/1P2kAXj
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Old Jokes Home:
Q/ What is Yoda’s favourite Village People song?
A/ M. Y. A. C
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Thanks: mountstnobody, DB, BW, @dove_from_above, monstris, @PeopleIKnow, muzukashii, fayekorgazm
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