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Attitude’s annual Swimwear and Underwear issue out today. Double cover featuring Harry Potter star Matthew Lewis on one and hot Maths Teacher and model Pietro Boselli on the other. Special annual subscription in print or digital for ONLY £21. See the two covers and subscribe here:
http://bit.ly/1JGJ4Ge
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“I’ve never called myself a sex addict, but I was like a kid in a candy store” – Mick Hucknall
POPBITCH _ _ _ _
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|_| |_|22.05.15 ISSUE 740
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* The Big Guide to Eurovision
* The Chim Shippers are back
* Charts: Omi still number one
>> Party pooper <<
No suprises at Beckham bash
David Beckham just celebrated his 40th at the Amanjena hotel, Marrakech. Word from inside the party is that David was a delight. Never stopped posing for selfies and signed autographs for anyone.
Victoria, on the other hand, made fewer friends. Moaning and complaining, demanding help with the children every minute and seemed to be up all night with insomnia.
Anna Wintour spotted in Balthazar, New York. Without sunglasses. And eating carbs. Are end times nigh?
>> Bet brother <<
Nick talks himself down
Big Brother launched last week to little fanfare. One of the more interesting housemates, posh boy Nick, announcing that he was “too loathable” to win.
So what odds would William Hill give on Nick to win the show? Well, that might be complicated. His Dad is the betting company’s CEO.
It will be interesting to see if Nick lasts in the show. He managed to get a nice job at the William Hill offices in Australia last summer but lasted just a couple of weeks before coming home.
Hats off to Sky Atlantic for casting serial baby machine Jude Law in a new mini-series as… the Pope.
>> Big Questions <<
Who’s asking what this week
Which fading celebrity has been moaning about her ex’s predilection for adding to his offspring? She’s annoyed his ongoing baby-making will impact the amount of money their kids get.
Why are Superinjunctions suddenly back? (See Daily Mail for CHS v Mr Y…)
Also, why are we suddenly getting so many emails about who Cheryl Cole may (or may not) have a joint bank account with? Have the Chim Shippers just had their AGM?
The four managers whose teams defeated Chelsea this season all have names starting with P: Pardew, Pochettino, Parkinson & Pulis.
>> Wright and wrong <<
How to make friends
Maybe you’ve listened to Steve Wright in the afternoon on Radio 2. Maybe you’ve thought to yourself “Huh. He’s got some pretty good repartee with his guests. I wonder how he manages to strike that up with them.”
Well, it’s apparently very simple. According to one loose-lipped contributor to the show, Steve’s preferred technique is to slag off his previous guests, making his current guest feel a million dollars. (Until they learn
that he’ll happily throw them under the bus too once they’re clear of the studio.)
Prince Charles and Camilla were due to visit the house used to film Father Ted as part of their current tour, but the plan was cancelled.
******* EUROVISION STARTS **********
>> Euro Stars <<
60th Anniversary fun
Eurovision – 27 songs, and most of them drippy ballads. To help you find the best acts, stupidest outfits (and best time for a bar/bog break) we’ve compiled a free 50-page, full-colour guide, filled with gossip, rumours, tips and needlessly detailed theoretical breakdowns of each of the songs.
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And here’s five extra bits of trivia to show off on Saturday:
1 David Mindel, who wrote the UK track, also wrote the National Lottery & Euromillions themes. (And, of course, Jim’ll Fix It.)
2 Guy Sebastian’s debut single was the second fasting selling record ever in Australia.
3 Albania’s entry is the 145th biggest download in Mozambique this week.
4. Azerbaijan’s entry (who looks like an Amish Justin Timberlake) just won Turkey’s version of The Voice.
5. Georgia’s glam goth shouts about being “oximated”. This is the first time in Eurovision history that technical organic chemistry terms have been used in the lyrics.
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Fancy a flutter? Someone out there fancies Belgium. 25-1 yesterday, 5-1 today. We’re pleased we tipped them e/w in the semi-final. Coral’s odds suggest a fight between Russia (massive, stadium filling ballad) and Sweden (Avicii copy with super-cute stage show). And Belgium? If you like Lorde, and/or electronic bleeps, you’ll love Loic.
Take a look here – new users bet 5GBP to get 20GBP free bet
http://bit.ly/1HmuRJw
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Want somewhere in Sydney to watch Australia’s historic debut?
http://bit.ly/1F1wLxJ
******** EUROVISION ENDS ***********
Popbitch’s favourite recently defeated Tory council candidate… Leeds’ Ice Dong. Ice Bing Dong, to give his full name.
>> The real McCoy <<
Who’s cock is this? pt. 3
Got your pencils ready? We can cross another Dr Who cock off our list.
Sylvester McCoy appeared naked on the West End stage in the nineties. One eye-witness describes the sight, thus:
“Profuse pubic hair. Smallish but very wiggly as I recall.”
William Orbit produced Harry Enfield’s Loadsamoney.
>> Minister of sound <<
The Ibiza trip: explained
Everyone seemed surprised to see Ed Miliband jetting off to Ibiza after getting an absolute thumping in the election. True, Ibiza isn’t the sort of place you’d think Ed would enjoy, but nobody seemed to consider the possibility that Ibiza wasn’t his choice.
University friends of Justine Thornton spent several long weekends in Ibiza with her in the 90s. Justine, apparently leans to “deep, funky house with a progressive edge.”
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Popbitch Quiz comes to Spitalfields on a Sunday afternoon! Check out the lovely Smiths bar, and all-new quiz, with Tom Webb hosting and Will Barrett playing pop tunes on the accordion, Sunday 7th June. Info and advance tickets here:
http://bit.ly/1cRItoh
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>> Hmmms <<
Gak, goatse, Bowser
Someone turned Jamiroquai’s Virtual Insanity video into a playable browser game:
http://bit.ly/1BcNopv
How much gak do you need to be on to come up with a PR stunt like this?
http://bit.ly/1SdHLCk
Have you eaten at Carousel yet? The people behind Mile High are now in Marylebone. All this month, Ollie Templeton (ex-Moro) is resident. More:
http://www.carousel-london.com
Everyone’s favourite socialist band, Thee Faction, release a new album and play a fundraiser for the Nepal Earthquake Appeal on Bank Holiday Monday at the Half Moon, Putney. Buy the album and get a free “I DIDN’T VOTE TORY” badge:
http://www.theefaction.org
Bankside Space Events Venue – London’s freshest, friendliest boutique blank canvas venue.
Contact s-j@banksidespace.com.
http://www.banksidespace.com
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Thanks: PR, KK, JD, SG, PR, Z, AB, cantinghoare, mq, C, L, fobbit, @dawneywawney for the joke
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Old Jokes Home:
Just asked Siri for a wake up call.
She sent me a photo of me. Surrounded by empty crisp bags and cats.
Still Bored?
Conchita’s album is finally out. Where Have All The Good Men Gone is an absolute belter!
http://smarturl.it/conchitaitunes
