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“Apparently there’s a term for someone who gets turned on by intellectual stuff… What’s the word? I want to say ‘sodomy’?” – Sean Rad, CEO, Tinder
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|_| |_|19.11.15 ISSUE 763
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Email stories hello@popbitch.com
* Keep it up with the Joneses
* That’s light entertainment
* Charts: Adele still No. 1
>> Keen one and Kel <<
The spurn of the Mac
After famously being caught dipping his wick in the company ink (in a Barbados love-nest) by the Mail On Sunday back in the 90s, you’d think Sun columnist Kelvin MacKenzie would exercise a touch more caution these days.
But perhaps not. It sounds like Kelvin has been enjoying the charms of another former Sun secretary. She thought things were serious enough to have her horse moved to a stable closer to Kelvin’s house in Surrey. He obviously didn’t though, as last week she was telling friends he’d dumped her.
Whether she also told the Mail on Sunday remains to be seen…
Grumblings from inside The Sun that new editor Tony Gallagher doesn’t yet seem to be a great fit.
>> Big Questions <<
Who’s asking what this week?
Which Brit sitcom star’s school nickname was Tripod, thanks to his “eye-watering” length and girth?
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Bridget Christie’s latest show, A Book For Her, is on at the Leicester Square Theatre until Dec 2. Popbitch readers get 20% off Mon-Wed performances using the promo code ‘POPBRIDGE’: http://bit.ly/1Oipeot
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>> Proper charlie <<
Nicky’s French letters
London socialite Nicky Haslam has found a novel way to show solidarity with the French.
He’s taken to turning up at posh London parties in a specially made slogan t-shirt.
Which says: “Je Snort Charlie”.
F1 rumours suggest Bernie Ecclestone and Christian Horner are no longer so close, as the cranky billionaire is less than enamoured with Geri H being in the pit lane all the time.
>> Double trouble <<
That’s light entertainment
We told you last week that Lincoln’s Christmas lights were due to be turned on by a local Gary Barlow lookalike. Sadly, owing to ill health, he’s had to pull out.
However, fear not. Another local Barlow lookalike has stepped in to take his place.
Jay Aston from Buck’s Fizz will be turning on the Dorking Christmas lights tomorrow (Friday 20th) at St Martin’s Walk Shopping Centre.
>> In Da Club <<
Good effen deal, 50
50 Cent won’t be bankrupt for long if his business skills are as good as they appear.
After a gig in Newcastle last week, local nightclub Tup Tup Palace set up an after-party for him. They said they had imported a load of Effen vodka from the US just for him too.
Fiddy has an endorsement deal with Effen. He makes more money when their sales go up, so not only did he get to drink it, he got paid for doing so.
Not only that, but rumours in Newcastle suggest he got a fee of around 30k just for turning up. Not bad for a day’s work.
Zayn Malik’s mum says he has read the Quran three times.
>> EBU-tube <<
Extra ad-ed value
We’ve spoken in recent months about suspicious behaviour behind the scenes at Eurovision. It’s just getting weirder and weirder.
One of the questions that has been asked is: What happens to the ad revenue generated on YouTube? Eurovision has had 2 billion views of the videos across its official channel, which should bring in a decent six-figure sum.
The EBU’s official line on it is that the profits generated go back into the competition to offset the costs to the competing nations.
Which is a perfectly plausible explanation. But it’s a little weird that, just days after this question was first asked, someone went and pulled all the advertising off the videos in question.
Remember Australia’s extra-special one-off appearance in Eurovision last year? They’re back in 2016.
>> Porn free <<
Keep it up with the Joneses
Back when the London Assembly was first formed, politicians were very excited because internet filters were much more lax than at Westminster.
Something one Tory assembly member was keen to share with everyone. He not only told Jenny Jones this, but demonstrated it for her by loading up a hardcore gay porn site on her computer to show her how great the internet was.
The expats’ favourite hospital in Bangkok is called… Bumrungrad.
>> Brazil nuts <<
Taxing questions
Barcelona star Neymar’s dad has been getting sniffy about Spanish tax authorities daring to take a look at their deals, saying: “We own the Neymar brand, which has been running as a business since 2006 from Brazil, and we need the peace of mind that comes from knowing that everything is in order.”
Hang on a minute. As well as Neymar’s dad claiming control of his image rights/personal brand, they’ve also been sold to ex-Brazil star Ronaldo’s agency, 9ine (in 2011) and to talent agency IMX (in 2012).
British run Doyen Sports also bought a fair piece of the Neymar brand to help exploit it around the world. And that’s without even looking at the various third-parties claiming to have owned a bit of the player prior to his Barca transfer.
Everything in order, then?
FYI: A good explanation of the Neymar-Barcelona story:
http://bit.ly/1l7scj7
Diana Vickers is not a fan of rocket leaves. She finds them too bitter, apparently.
>> RIP Ernest Bishop <<
Corrie star meets Rev_GB
Actor Stephen Hancock, who died this month, met our Rev_Goatboy in a pub once.
The Rev was sat in the pub leafing through a stash of mucky pictures he’d obtained from the continent. The photos were quite hardcore, the set culminating in a shot of a lady curling one out into a man’s mouth.
There was a bloke on the next table the Rev half-recognised so they started talking. It was the Coronation Street actor who played Ernest Bishop, neurotic husband to prim Emily.
Stephen was good company, so the Rev offered him a look at the mucky pictures. Stephen chuckled obligingly, until he got to the final shot and, without missing a beat, remarked “Oh, if only Emily would do that to me”.
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Work is finishing on a documentary about Bobby Moore. Bo66y The Movie has interviews with Pele, Sir Geoff
Hurst, Wayne Rooney, Roy Hodgson, Gazza etc. But efforts to get David Beckham over the last 15 months have gone unrewarded. Anyone who can help track down Becks – email: info@bobbymooremovie.com
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>> Hmmms <<
Partridge, R, Soul
Fancy taking a shot at Donald Trump? Try a Trumpinata:
http://trumpinata.party
“People will share anything online in order to share something online”
http://nyti.ms/1NFdhUi
Matt Taibi on the Republican Presidential campaign:
http://rol.st/1NdPGQe
Feed your Northern Soul needs with this new album – signed CD on offer:
http://bit.ly/1MDORuu
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Thanks to: SM, JB, AE, AC, ML, GA, poshduckhunter, AM, SG, bobbifleckmann, ML, TL, J,
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Old Jokes Home:
Q/ What do you get if you cross a robot with a pirate?
A/ Aaarrrr2D2
Still Bored?
Sunday Sport’s idea of a SFW Xmas advert might be a bit different to everyone else’s:
http://bit.ly/1MoSiaG
