Toilet-Bowling For Columbine

Madonna used to post here. Queen’s John Deacon turned up to support the board’s first fundraiser. Much of Fleet St, half the UK music industry, even well-known MPs-turned-nutjob-conspiracy-theorists. Everyone cut their teeth here. It led to Popbitch weddings, babies, divorces – and worse.

Keeping us all entertained year after year was the Reverend Goatboy, an ex-roadie with a raft of tall tales. It’s hard to believe that this weekend will mark 10 years since he died, but this anniversary seems to be the right moment for us to take the step to shutter the board.

We don’t need to tell you how much the internet’s moved on this last decade, and we know so many of you personally now that there are other ways to fill the pages of this newsletter each week (which, to be clear, is going to continue for as long as you’ll have us).

So, old PB posters: you’ve got ’til 31st July to say your farewells, pretend you think everyone’s a cunt, and (if you’re lucky) cop off with someone for old times’ sake.

Thanks to everyone who ever posted or lurked. It’s been a privilege, and we look forward to hanging out with you for many more years (including a celebratory party – details coming soon.)

If you want to jump in for one last bout of p and b, do it now.

He’ll only ever go after the ten minute call though, even if he knows deep down that it’s going to be a 15 minute job. So make sure you have a few spare songs on the playlist lined up. He might be a little late to the stage.

[See the details on RightMove]

What is Hillsong? It’s a megachurch, founded in the 80s in Australia by Brian Houston. Like any religious institution worth its salt, Hillsong offers its members eternal salvation, has close links to paedophilia (Houston’s father, a pastor himself, was a massive paedo) and is great at making money. So great, in fact, that it has developed a special payment app for its churchgoers to use and has recently set itself up to take contactless payments.

Now, with its Tom Cruise style link-up with Justin Bieber, could it be aiming for a takeover of the ailing celebrity Scientology market?

On an unrelated note, Justin Bieber has a net worth of $225 million.

Crew members report that Gahan was looking surprisingly refreshed on the day this stomach bug first struck – and note that his hotel room has often had a security guard outside it…

Worried that he was going to get busted for marijuana possession, Finley Quaye made the decision to hide his stash up his backside. As it soon became clear that the risk had passed, he noticed that he was becoming more and more fucked, so attempted to remove it. From his own anus. With a teaspoon.

He was found in his dressing room, passed out, pants down and a teaspoon… in position.

Two of her clients already have columns in the Trinity Mirror papers but, now that Blake has her own TV column, a couple of series in particular can expect glowing reviews in the next few months too.

Urban Associates’ client Saira Khan has signed up to appear on Dancing On Ice, and Urban Associates’ client Helen Lederer will be a housemate in Celebrity Big Brother.

One which stated that she was not guilty of bullying. (Just in case any poor civil servant could’ve been mistaken…)

But the strangest thing is that the main angle they’re taking is that he’s missed the Barcelona match closest to his sister’s birthday for the last four years (the sister, you may remember, whose face he’s had tattooed all over his arm.)

So which is it? Is he a problem playboy? Or is he a dedicated family man?

Unless they’re trying to suggest…?

Person dressed as panda, playing with baby pandas
[Watch on Twitter]

What a charming sounding destination!
[View on UNESCO]