Who’s Next?

The actor, so the story goes, liked to make the most of his time in Cannes by always keeping his make-up artist on his yacht. On nights when he didn’t have to do any schmoozing or glad-handing, he’d get the make-up artist to apply layers of silicon to his face as a disguise so that he could go out unrecognised.

If he pulled, he’d invite the lovely young thing back to his yacht and, explaining that he was mega-rich, would get them to sign a Non-Disclosure Agreement (NDA).

Then, in the morning, he’d go to the bathroom and take off the silicon, revealing to his unsuspecting guest that they’d just spent the night with… Tom Cruise!

Executives at Channel 4 didn’t find it quite so funny though. In fact, mass panic broke out around the office as they realised that Brodkin had been contracted to C4 for a prank show (which got binned after a piss poor pilot). The worry was that he was still under contract with them and that they might, in some way, be tied to the stunt.

By some extreme stroke of luck, it turned out that his contract had run out the previous week. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief.

Until the execs saw that Brodkin was actually starting to get a lot of favourable publicity. So instead of celebrating his expired contract, they reverse-ferreted and offered him a brand new one!

However, it would be remiss of us not to point out that some of the people who have been quick to condemn Weinstein have done so, at least in part, to distract from some of their own shitty behaviour – particularly those in our own beloved media industry.

Naturally, we need to treat this topic quite delicately, so we’ve written some more considered thoughts on the “Inches For Inches” scandal-in-waiting here.

[Read on Popbitch]

An injunction was taken out in 2011 by the star of a massive hit British TV show. He was having an affair with one of his female co-stars, but when his wife found out about it all he threw his co-star under the bus. He told producers that he didn’t want to work with her any more.

The TV company sacked her, and then he applied for an injunction to ban anyone in the media from reporting it.

And guess what? The British courts granted it. ETK vs News Group Newspapers.

According to the judge, “the reasons for her leaving give rise to no debate of general interest”. Maybe in the wake of all these Weinstein allegations someone would like to revisit that particular judgement?

“You know, for years I used to read about myself. They’d say, ‘He has a temper’ or ‘He’s a bully’ or something like that, and it always bothered me…

“What happened was, I was never an eater of breakfast or anything… I would just eat M&Ms all day, sweets, you know, for what I thought was energy, which is not energy at all. Some people handle sweets better… So that’s what caused these outbursts, you know?

“As soon as I started to recognize the sugar thing, there have been no outbursts. There’s been no anything at all. Zero. There’s been nothing. Not a word to anybody… My relationship with sugar has been the worst relationship of my life, but now I’ve tamed it.”

[Read the whole interview]

She’s right, of course. And who could forget the reports last year of the bullying that was taking place on the set of Loose Women? Geordie Shore’s Charlotte Crosby spoke candidly about how she was brought to tears before and after her appearance on the show, thanks to the hosts’ behaviour.

And who did she single out as being particularly horrific? Why, it was… Janet Street-Porter!

[Order through Arena Flowers]

“As a professional photographer, I can recommend that people say ‘YES’ as a way to make the face smile correctly in pictures. Saying ‘prunes’ or ‘brush’ will contort your features and force the face to look unnatural. Let this be the end of it.”

But there was something that happened in the aftermath of Charlottesville that slipped under the radar, which could yet prove to be his undoing.

What was it? Well, it’s kind of a long story – one that takes in a botched Mafia hitjob, two executed Russian spies, Joseph McCarthy, Rupert Murdoch, the death of Elvis Presley, an anthrax attack and high-profile staffers of every American administration from Truman through to Trump.

It’s the story of American Media, Inc. – the publishing house that’s responsible for the National Enquirer – and its uncanny prescience in predicting Donald Trump’s presidency.

We’re going to tell it over the next four weeks. The first part of the story, The Tabloid Triangle, is now up to read on popbitch.com. Take a look.

[Read on Popbitch]

However, shortly after Theresa May’s disastrous speech, the hedgehog event was mysteriously “postponed” indefinitely.

But don’t feel too sorry for Chris. He still got to spend the week with a whole load of pricks.

Angelina Jolie set up a honeytrap to catch Joseph Kony. Apparently not a movie plot?
[Read on the Times – £]

Donald Trump’s nomination speech for Eminem in 2004
[See on Twitter]

Sculpting Freddie Mercury
[Watch on YouTube]

Uber: for or against? Come to the debate; FREE tickets for Popbitch readers with code POPBITCH
[Book at How To Academy]

How not to use a quote on your play’s poster
[Read on Press Gazette]

Very long read on Louise Mensch
[View on Paste]

This week’s Media Focus podcast is with Darren Scott, editor of Gay Times, the world’s largest and longest-running gay magazine in the world
[Listen/Download at Media Focus]

Still Bored?
It’s the last Popbitch Quiz at Smiths of Smithfield for 2017! Tuesday 7th November, 7:30pm. Fun, filth and the best of the year. Get your tickets now £5pp.
[Book on Popbitch]