Chimaculate Conception

The pregnancy of Cheryl Cole has been a rum old thing. Rumoured long before it began, then roundly ignored when it was staring us in the face, the whole thing spanned nearly eleven months – roughly the gestation period of a llama. What the hell was going on?

[ Read more... ]

Girlfriend In A Comma

Ever since pregnancy rumours were sparked, reportage of Cheryl Cole has been a blizzard of quote marks. After months of speculation with no official statement on the matter, Cheryl has now appeared in public looking very much pregnany – but subeditors don’t seem to know how to react…

[ Read more... ]

JB, Or Not JB?

Jean-Bernard Fernandez-Versini has been famous for precisely 19 months. In all that time, have you ever heard him speak? Ever heard him give an interview? Us neither. Yet for someone who speaks so little, he seems to find himself quoted in the media an awful lot…

[ Read more... ]

Amiga Power

90s nostalgia continues unabashed. Not content with reuniting all of the bands who ever had a top five hit between 1994 and 1999, now even modern acts are taking their influences from one of pop’s dumbest decades. They’re taking it from the strangest of places though. The Amiga 500.

[ Read more... ]

Raking Over Old Coles

Even the most ardent Cheryl Cole fan had to admit that there was something a little fishy about her recent nuptials, but that’s the trouble when your entire life becomes one long media narrative. No-one trusts you any more. And when they don’t trust you, you start to invite the strangest speculation…

[ Read more... ]