Chimaculate Conception

The pregnancy of Cheryl Cole has been a rum old thing. Rumoured long before it began, then roundly ignored when it was staring us in the face, the whole thing spanned nearly eleven months – roughly the gestation period of a llama. What the hell was going on?

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Chim Disguise

It’s been a while since we’ve seen any fresh evidence of Chim – the secret rumoured lesbian relationship between Cheryl Cole-Fernandez-Tweedy and Kimberley Walsh – but this Instagram shot of Kimberley’s has got the internet’s tongue wagging again.

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JB, Or Not JB?

Jean-Bernard Fernandez-Versini has been famous for precisely 19 months. In all that time, have you ever heard him speak? Ever heard him give an interview? Us neither. Yet for someone who speaks so little, he seems to find himself quoted in the media an awful lot…

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Chimvigoration

And so we say farewell to Jean-Bernard Fernandez Versini – the soon to be ex-husband of Cheryl Tweedy. Cheryl’s not the only one glad to be seeing the back of him either. The lesbian conspiracists of the internet are too – because this divorce means one thing, and one thing only: Chim Shipping is back in season.

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Raking Over Old Coles

Even the most ardent Cheryl Cole fan had to admit that there was something a little fishy about her recent nuptials, but that’s the trouble when your entire life becomes one long media narrative. No-one trusts you any more. And when they don’t trust you, you start to invite the strangest speculation…

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