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JOB OPPORTUNITIES – DIGITAL U/X, DESIGN, ACCOUNT DIRECTORS, MANAGERS Looking for a new job? Interested in a new challenge? Excited about good causes and campaigns? If you know something about digital media – you may be just who we are looking to employ. Click to see three jobs and/or drop us a line – careers@champollion.co.uk
http://bit.ly/11ldiVz
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“I think social media is a part of everything, whether it’s fashion or music or film.” – Naomi Campbell
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|_| |_| 31.01.13 ISSUE 627
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go to https://www.popbitch.com
To send stories email: hello@popbitch.com
* Man or mustelid?
* Badass Kenny G
* Charts: Bingo Players are still no 1
>> Tennant’s XXXtra <<
Cockwatching with Popbitch
David Tennant has always been a bit of a hit with the ladies – what with his cheery face, his fancy hair and his lilting Scottish accent.
Imagine how much more they’ll be into him when they learn of his nickname: David Ten-inch.
lexie writes: “My friend was at Westminster with Nick Clegg and says the only thing remarkable about him was that he was always first in the lunch queue.”
>> Karma Kylemeleon <<
It’s Dermot Oh Deary
We’ve spoken before about what a sensitive soul Dermot O’Leary is, so he’s no doubt tying himself in knots over this little quip…
Last week: Dermot O’Leary says at the National Television awards: “Jeremy Kyle can’t be here tonight. He’s poorly. That’s karma for you.”
This week: News breaks that Jeremy Kyle is indeed poorly. With cancer.
Excellent fact tweeted by BBC, from archive Gallup/BBC polls: In June 1953 51% objected to licence fee going up to 3 pounds.
>> Original G <<
Kenny’s a badass
So Beyonce lip-synced at Obama’s inauguration. So what? You’ll never guess what Kenny G did at Bill Clinton’s…
During some downtime between the inauguration and the ball that evening, the Secret Service guys charged with looking after Kenny G invited him to visit the FBI building to “shoot some guns”. Kenny enthusiastically
accepted. He said the high point was shooting a 1930s Tommy Gun complete with 50-round drum magazine.
Yeah. Don’t fuck with Kenny G.
Gael Garcia Bernal was at Amnesty this week. A source there says: “He’s very, very, very, very, very, very, very small.”
>> Big Questions <<
What people are asking
Which member of the Made In Chelsea cast is gaining a reputation for her behaviour? Her sharp tongue reduced a popular stylist to tears on a recent photo shoot.
(Clue: It’s Millie Mackintosh.)
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Who says money can’t buy Love! Say it with words this Valentine’s Day – adopt a word with the charity I CAN for the perfect present that also helps a child with communication difficulties:
http://www.adoptaword.com/ad/popbitch
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>> Passe aggression <<
What’s new in office bullying
Spitting in your bosses’ food, or wiping your knob around the rim of their coffee mugs is all very well and good but the latest trend around the fashion and magazine offices of Mayfair is much more devious.
Disgruntled receptionists have taken to punishing their least favourite colleagues by holding back their Graze boxes. Since this is often their sole source of nutrition for the day, they are then forced to either starve or dig into the calorific grub they usually have saved for clients.
Comedian Russell Kane has a black pug called Colin.
>> Kiss and sell <<
The horror of cameraphones
Afraid Leveson has quashed your chances of getting your kiss and tell story sold? Worry not. With their latest scoop that Zayn from One Direction might have shagged someone other than his girlfriend, the Sun on Sunday have mapped out a new framework.
The sequence of events you need to follow is this:
* Hang out around the popstar of your choice.
* Perform a sex act on them.
* When they suggest they call you a taxi, perform a second sex act on them.
* Once both performances are complete, Google them.
* Get so outraged by Google telling you that said popstar has a girl/boyfriend you feel compelled to take a picture of them while they sleep.
* Just by chance, the photos you take are of distinguishing marks (like tattoos) so the media find them acceptable as proof.
* Take your story to a tabloid who will publish the shots worked into a “Won’t Somebody Think Of The Girlfriends?!” campaign.
Sergio Garcia drinks shandy made with Fanta Lemon.
>> Badger v Baboon <<
A legend of violence answers
Dolph Lundgren writes:
“A baboon and a badger? Who comes up with these questions? Jesus Christ. A baboon right? Don’t they just tear your arm straight off and smack you round the head with it? I think so, they’re pretty strong. Or possibly a badger with a machine gun? Or a badger with a rocket launcher?”
Cabin Crew News 1: Kofi Annan – “Very quiet and pleasant man. Two of the girls thought he was Morgan Freeman.”
>> Europopbits <<
Our tunes of the year so far
1. Margaret Berger – Classy electro pop
2. Betty Dittrich – Cute 60s singalong
3. Winny Puhh – Absolutely mental
Cabin Crew News 2: Trinny and Susannah – “Same flight as Kofi Annan. Awful women. Thought they were royalty and insisted on only being spoken to through their PA.”
>> Man or mustelid <<
Czeching out the championship
After news last week that footballer Habib Habibou’s name translates roughly as “Mr Lover Lover”, a new signing at Watford has been brought to our attention.
Matej Vydra is a Czech player currently on loan at Watford from Udinese. His name translates into English as… Matthew Otter.
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I would so take it up the bum for you. Come and have a giggle at the cheekiest Valentines cards and gifts around and you never know you might get lucky! http://bit.ly/OCjy1
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>> Hmmms <<
Law, cats, Hadley
Nominative Determinism of the week: Dr McCracken – Chiropractor
http://bit.ly/129sGcy
Colin Murray is very touchy about his DJing:
http://bit.ly/TaqsFQ
Radio 4 announcer confuses Nazi Minister of Armaments and War Production for Tony Hadley:
http://bit.ly/14tdky2
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Popbitch Pop Quiz – Mon 11th February. Book your table now and get in the mood for Valentines with celebrity love trivia, sweet music and nice people. 7pm, The Player, Soho:
http://www.wegottickets.com/event/206058
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Thanks to: bad_horsey, AndyM, FL, RB, deep_stoat, ulysses, CF, ulysses, GO, monstris, LMES, OW, lexie
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Old Jokes Home:
After all the furore of horse meat being found in Tesco burgers, Primark are in the spotlight this week with camel toe being found in all their leggings.
