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“I am but a weak piece of straw caught up in the revolutionary hurricane. And a hurricane was unleashed here, you know” – Hugo Chavez
POPBITCH _ _ _ _
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|_| |_| 07.03.13 ISSUE 632
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* Sugar v Desmond: the pair have previous
* The curious case of Elisa
* Charts: JT v Bruno Mars for number 1
>> Simons Says <<
Copywriting for the stars
Raf Simons has designed a new collection for Fred Perry, but assembling the website to promote the line hasn’t been quite so beautifully conceived.
Raf’s people were keen to check the copy appearing on their site, so Fred Perry staff ended up sending over three different revisions. Each submission was met with disdain, along with increasingly personal comments about the copywriting.
That is until a member of staff at Fred Perry pointed out that the third set of copy had been lifted directly from Simons’ own personal website. At the time of writing, they are still waiting to receive an answer…
Robbie Keane’s grandfather is the cousin of Morrissey’s father.
>> Suddenly nisi <<
How PR works pt 374
KT Tunstall’s split from her husband, also the drummer in her band, was all over the tabloids this weekend.
However, two facts were omitted from the stories
1) KT actually split up with Luke five months ago.
2) KT Tunstall has a new album out next week.
RIP: Paul Bearer (aka William Moody) had a degree in Mortuary Science and was a fully licensed funeral director/embalmer.
>> Plane stupid <<
Leaving on a jet plane
Height-challenged business moguls Alan Sugar and Richard Desmond haven’t just been scrapping over youview. They go back a long way. Industry legend has it that some years ago Sugar offered Desmond a lift on his private jet. Desmond was late, Alan got bored waiting, so just took off without him. Dickie was left stranded, and furious. The unfortunate victims in this skirmish were said to be Desmond’s staff who, it is claimed, missed out on pay raises while Dessie saved up for his own plane.
Last Friday night: Andi Peters was spotted on a flight from London to Marrakesh, while ex-Archbish Rowan Williams was on a train from Cambridge to King’s Cross.
>> Big Questions <<
What people are asking this week
Which London-based foreign footballer was found in bed with a friendly fashionista by his wife? Fans of his current club would be surprised he had any interest in getting any action.
1,400 fragrances were launched in 2012.
>> Scoop pooped <<
Daily mail bombed
The folks at the Daily Mail were furious enough with press regulation as it is. Imagine their frustration now that a story about one of the legal team who worked on the Leveson Inquiry has landed in their laps. Imagine their pain at having to hold off publishing something like that!
This week’s Danish lesson: The word “Gift” means two different things. “Poison” and “Marriage”.
>> Good will <<
Gently does it
Much like Vin Diesel’s people, Will Smith’s security are quick to stop people taking photographs of the star. They are, however, much more zen about it.
Rather than bully and harass, they recommend that eager fans put their cameras down and “just enjoy the moment”.
FYI: Club-goers at Bieber’s 19th birthday party have some issues with his recollection that he wasn’t trying to get under-age friends, like Smith Jnr, into the bash.
“My wife’s going to Venezuela for Chavez’s funeral.” “Caracas?” “No, she has a nuanced opinion of his controversial rule.”
>> Shopping with Jose <<
More tales from Waitrose
Nice to see Jose Mourinho back in the UK up to his old attention grabbing tricks. The staff of Waitrose near the Chelsea training ground in Cobham remember fondly the visits of the Special One. A simple shop involved an entourage of at least three, with Mourinho issuing instructions in a very loud voice.
FYI Chelsea ex-player, Alex, on the other hand, was known for being a “thoroughly nice chap”.
Remember Tommy Walsh off-of-Ground Force? He was out enjoying a burger at the Sebright Arms last weekend.
>> Hoppen mad <<
How to train your dragon
Questions have been raised over Kelly Hoppen’s suitability to take part in Dragon’s Den after it emerged that her business only just scraped six figures last year.
But we have faith in her. Kel was recently spotted on a flight from London to Venice taking a seat in Row 1 of the plane – while the helper accompanying her was banished to the back seats.
With such financial prudence, she’s bound to be fine.
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LORD NELSON, 243 Union St. SE1 esteemed purveyors of beef & horse & hoff burgers, invite you for a free glass of bubbly and the Ambassadors of Morocco showcasing their new single. Mon 11 March from 7pm:
http://bit.ly/AOMyoutube
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>> On the lam <<
The curious case of Elisa
1) ‘Elisa Lam’ is the name of a Canadian tourist who was murdered and stuffed in the rooftop water tank of the Hotel Cecil, on the edge of Downtown Los Angeles’ Skid Row.
2) ‘LAM Elisa’ is the name of a test used to diagnose tuberculosis. (LAM stands for lipoarabinomannan; Elisa stands for enzyme-linked immunosorbent assay)
3) There has been been a recent uptick of antibiotic-resistant TB in Los Angeles’ Skid Row – close to where Elisa Lam was found. Residents nearby are being tested. Using LAM Elisa.
Looking at the tat at Art13 – Richard Bacon and Harry Styles.
>> Eurovision yawn <<
Wake us up in June…
2013 could have been great. So many great entries for Eurovision were overlooked by stuffy juries who don’t understand the contest shouldn’t be an MOR yawnfest.
Sadly Winny Puhh will be missing rom the stage in Malmo. And – seeing how well the UK did last year with an old singer that no-one under 40 in Europe had heard of – we get Bonnie Tyler with a dreary ballad.
The Swedish finals on Saturday seem to be our best hope for some finals fun. Manga boy-toy Yohio vs (our current favourite) Ralf Gyllenhammer, a pianist with a mohican, handlebar moustache and Ian Astbury’s voice:
http://bit.ly/YeCQ4K
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Win one of FIVE iPad minis with Do Something UK. Join The Wanted, Delilah, Caroline Flack and Lauren Goodger and many more, and pledge your support to #lolzNOTtrolls to help make the internet a happier place:
http://bit.ly/lolzbitch
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>> Hmmms <<
Wankers, T.Watts, Mormons
Interesting piece on the fate of Eric Castor:
http://nyr.kr/XOZtzm
LAST TICKETS AVAILABLE for the March Popbitch Quiz. NEXT MONDAY, 11th Trivia, gossip and animal accordion karaoke, The Player, Soho. Email comp@popbitch.com
http://bit.ly/14xjqfb
Broken starring Tim Roth and Cillian Murphy is out nationwide tomorrow, check out the trailer here:
http://bit.ly/YORFuL
If you ain’t got yo wack ass on Gizoogle yet, try it out, yo:
http://www.gizoogle.net/
Patrick’s Day is coming. Get your wardrobe ready:
http://bit.ly/XSw34k
First word from our man at Book of Mormon is unsurprisingly positive: “This is a musical for adults. Adults that are happy to laugh at a grown man fucking a frog on stage”:
http://www.bookofmormonlondon.com/
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Looking for a gift that won’t wilt this Mother’s Day? Adopt a word with ICAN for your mum (“Thanks”, or “Nag” – just joking) and win a Spa Pamper Day for you both. The present that also helps a child with communication difficulties.
http://www.adoptaword.com/ad/popbitch
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Thanks to: LALisa GA SG RN deep_stoat, bad_horsey, SK, AP, D, JT, EB, lennie, spank_daley, neville_bartos,
raging_bill, S, D, A, SW, lanista
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Old Jokes Home:
My son was thrown out of school today for letting a girl in his class wank him off.
I sat him down and said “Son, that’s three schools this year. Maybe teaching isn’t for you.”
Still Bored:
The biggest assholes in showbiz today:
http://bit.ly/Xslaqt
