Storm In A Pee Cup

Labour council leader Clare Kober’s decision to quit Haringey, citing bullying and sexism, made headlines this week.

Clare was certainly much more popular with the party’s top brass in 2011. Following the Tottenham riots, she welcomed then-Labour leader Ed Miliband to the area, to show him some of the devastation.

Ed and his party disembarked the tube at Seven Sisters to be met by Kober and council dignitaries. Immediately Ed started to look around, wide-eyed, and empathised with them about the terrible post-riot wasteland he was confronted by.

The council leaders had to quietly tell him he hadn’t yet got to the scene of the riots. All he could see was… well, Tottenham.

We mentioned last week that David Beckham was getting rather close to one of the women at his agency. As well as making an unwise friend, it looks like he’s been making an unwise enemy too.

Becks used to be good mates with Jason Statham, but the Stathamator has recently been saying how much he’d like to “punch David Beckham in the face”. Why? Because Becks won’t stop texting Rosie H-W.

There’s some trouble brewing backstage at which banter-heavy gameshow? The cheeky chappy host was cracking some jokes about the wife of one of the panellists in the green room – and was quickly treated to a smack in the mouth for it.

The decision to retire walk-on girls – first for the darts, now for the F1 – has been the hot debate of the week.

And who did Radio 5 Live get on to give their opinion on the matter of whether or not it’s appropriate to have women displaying their bodies at such events?

Part-time grid girl… Charlotte Gash!

Stormy Daniels went on Jimmy Kimmel’s show this week to not-quite-talk about the rumours surrounding her alleged affair with Donald Trump. During their conversation, Kimmel let it slip that Stormy’s people were the ones to reach out to ask if she could appear on the show, not the other way round.

We know only too well the risks involved with breaching a legal order. So why would a woman under a six-figure gagging order deliberately put herself in such a risky position?

Having consulted some of the finest legal minds in London, we think we have a theory.

We promise, we’re not taking the the piss.

[Read on Popbitch]

If you haven’t read the incredible Quincy Jones profile in GQ, do it as soon as you can. It’s filled with loads of great anecdotes and Quincy was completely unfiltered, using the word ‘motherfucker’ 89 times over the course of their interview.

Which lends an awful lot of credence to our favourite Quincy Jones story.

Lord Delawdy writes:

“A friend of mine was in Los Angeles 79 thru 87. Michael Jackson had had a huge hit with Off The Wall, and was recording the follow up. My mate popped around to the studio to see the producer.

“He got into the control room to find that everyone’s attention was fixed on the glass window. On the other side, Quincy Jones was kicking a pile of rags on the floor while shouting “Silent, you motherfucker! I said NO SQUEAKS!”

“It turned out the pile of rags was a gibbering Michael Jackson. They were recording a new song called Billie Jean, and Michael had decided to fill every gap with his trademark whoops, clicks and squeaks. Quincy, however, had decided that the track would be a pared down.”

[Read the GQ profile]

Best of luck to whichever usher is tasked with cleaning Cuba Gooding Jr’s dressing room when he comes to the West End later this year.

One Popbitch reader remembers being at a spa in Miami a few years ago having their massage interrupted by the rather distressing sounds of someone hacking their lungs up in the bathroom next door. It turned out it was Cuba.

He insisted that he was absolutely fine when he left, but the person who was left to wipe up the ungodly amount of phlegm he left all over the bathroom floor probably felt a little peaky afterwards.

It’s been a while since we’ve had a gross report from a media company’s office toilets, but we’re pleased to put that right now.

Someone at the fancy design and architecture title, Wallpaper*, has recently started wiping their bogies on the walls of the gents bogs and the day-cleaner, Sonia, has apparently had to spend ages scraping the stuff off the walls.

Things have got so bad that a department email was sent around politely asking the “perpetrator(s)” to stop it. Worrying that there was enough for them to think it’s more than a one-man job.

Porn legend Ron Jeremy weighs in on the baboon vs badger question. Unsurprisingly he went for the one with the bare arse.

His answer? “Great! I’ve been waiting for someone to ask. Always go with the baboon. They are crazy. And their butts are red.”

David Walliams’ big mouth has got him in trouble plenty of times, but it can occasionally come in handy.

Walliams was recently treated to a visit around the James Bond archives, where one of the props on display was the set of metal dentures made famous by Bond baddie, Jaws.

Richard Kiel, the giant who played him, found that he could only wear them for a few minutes at a time because the size of them made his mouth bleed. But when Walliams asked to try them on, he happily wore them for a solid hour or more.

So, please. Let’s all try to be kind next time he gets hired to compere a seedy gropefest. His big mouth is potentially a medical issue.

Louis Tomlinson is selling one of his LA homes… if you’ve got $14m spare
[Read in Variety]

Culture minister Matt Hancock has launched his own Facebook-style app
[Join up]

In advance of the Super Bowl, an old look at how Whitney, Mariah, Beyonce and Xtina changed the American national anthem
[Read on Popbitch]

2018’s worst festival line-up?
[Cool Britannia]