The Daily Tonic: Hold On To Your Stomachs

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* Rock lyrics of speechwriters!

* Ambitions of hotel management

* PLUS: Another new audio round

>> Outside influence <<

What would Amanda Holden say?

Dominic Cummings isn’t the only one to have embarked upon a little cross-country coronatour in defiance of the “Stay Home” messaging he’s been pushing publicly.
So has Alan Edwards – the founder and chairman of Outside Organisation: the famed PR company that’s spent lockdown tirelessly promoting UB40’s cover of Lean On Me for NHS charities, Amanda Holden’s NHS-supporting cover of Over The Rainbow and Kim Petras’s “Stay Home” Clash Magazine cover.
Alan’s personal Instagram takes a rather different line to the company channels though, showing him bouncing between London and the Cotswolds. In fact, according to a post this morning, it looks like he’s enjoying a country retreat right now.
Hope you’re having a lovely bank holiday, Alan! Pick us up something nice!

Can it be true what we hear? That Britain’s most prominent lockdown shirkers, Dominic Cummings and Kirstie Allsopp, were a one-time gruesome twosome? (And, worse yet, that Dom was supposedly a cracking shag?)

>> Band aid <<

Question of the day

Thanks for all your tales of the previous lives of politicos. One of them (below) has even inspired a spin-off question.
Today’s Question: Have you ever been in a band with someone who went on to become famous elsewhere? If so, what were their contributions?
Send your stories of pre-fame bandmates to us at hello@popbitch.com and we’ll distribute some digital goodies to our favourites.

Peanut from the Kaiser Chiefs owns a sausage dog called Pickle, and Ricky has a labradoodle named Norman Reedus.

>> Blaired lines <<

Rock lyrics of speechwriters

anon writes:

“I was in a band many years ago as a teenager with (the other) Phil Collins, Tony Blair’s speechwriter and now Times columnist.
“It was mainly covers, The Undertones, The Who, The Jam (he was a massive fan, complete with bowling shoes). He played bass, did backing vocals and wrote some songs. The one song he wrote I remember was Jumble Sale, with the lyrics ‘The women are fighting to buy jumpers for 5p / Forget the jumble sale, this is World War III’.
“We did one gig and then split.”

JH writes: “From the Cock O’ The North roundabout, down the A167 and past the home of la familia Cummings, you get to another pub which is still standing – The Honest Lawyer. Seems appropriate in the context of this weekend.”

>> Cleverly Towers <<

What could have been…

P writes:

“I knew James Cleverly when he was a Territorial Army officer in 100 (Field) Regiment Royal Artillery (Volunteers) at Grove Park in London in the 1990s.
“No skeletons; he was a very nice guy – and a good officer. A real ‘officer and a gentleman’ whose ambitions then were focussed on hotel management.”

Nominative Determinism of the Day: The voice talent behind CBeebies’ Waffle The Wonder Dog? Rufus Hound!

>> Colour coding <<

Blue suits Jo

D writes:

“Many years ago I worked at a media sales company in Glasgow where the marketing manager was none other than ex-Lib Dem leader Jo Swinson. She continually wore a dreadful aquamarine business suit and was known throughout the office as ‘Blue Suit’.
“The irony today is not lost on me.”

Further nicknames of celebs in reference to their tackle: Rupert Jones = “Pendulum”, Michael Fassbender = “Everwet”, Michael Gove = “Donkey”/”Big Dick Mick”.

>> Quarantunes <<

Today’s ten tracks

Let’s not waste too much time here. You know by now what you’re doing with these audio rounds. One point for the song, one point for the artist – ten songs, twenty points in total.
[Get to it]

POPBITCH POPQUIZ: A bunch of our infamous pub quiz rounds, now available to play in lockdown or over a call with friends, family or potentially colleagues if your HR dept is happy for you to discuss celebrity shagging between you.

[A fiver each, or get a value bundle]

>> Hmmms <<

A couple of quick things

The cockwatchers among you might enjoy this picture of Dominic Cummings’ tracksuit shadow

[Third picture down]
Baby elephant chasing birds

[Cute]

Thanks to: D, theabominablehoman, bobbi_fleckmann, JS, TB, JH, JB, J

Old Jokes Home

Somebody threw a bottle of omega-3 capsules at me.

Luckily I only suffered super fish oil injuries.

Fancy Another?