The Boys Of Slander

The Sun have been having a hell of a time trying to retrofit a public interest to their Huw Edwards story, pulling up any old incident of workplace misconduct they can find to pin on him now that the police are saying there’s no evidence of any crime.

It’s a shame they’ve put themselves in this position because if all they wanted was a story about a news broadcaster who has made life uncomfortable for colleagues by sending them “inappropriate messages”, they have a really juicy one much closer to home. It will involve asking some difficult questions, but they have an excellent starting lead.

They should still have all of Dan Wootton’s old HR files stashed away somewhere – so maybe they could start there? There’s bullying allegations, NDAs – even a few pay-offs they could get the guys in finance to dredge back up. While they’re doing that, they could look into why Wootton kept getting promoted while some of those who lodged complaints got sidelined.

Former colleagues seem perfectly willing to chat – but hey. We shouldn’t be doing their job for them. Just start pulling at the thread. See what you find…

Once upon a time, a week as chock-full of libel as this one would have been an absolute bonanza for those famed legal sluggers, Carter-Ruck.

Then it became briefly fashionable for slandered celebs to turn to the superinjunction salesmen at Schillings instead.

But now it seems the rich and defamed have a new favourite firm of choice. Acting on behalf of both George Osborne and Huw Edwards this week: Harbottle & Lewis!

Was the author of the infamous Osborne poison pen email really rubbing shoulders at the Politico summer party this week? Suspicions that the author moved among their number were raised early – and only deepened as the night went on and they watched the suspect showing off what they claimed was a legal letter they received about the whole thing as an icebreaker…

To hear Nigel Farage speak, you’d think that dealing with Coutts private bank is some kind of Kafkaesque nightmare – but it’s amazing how far a little bit of charm will get you in there.

A few years ago, Alan Carr was spotted at the counter, trying to make a withdrawal from his account despite having no ID on him. He managed to successfully cajole the cashier into overlooking that by insisting that his face “and this voice” were surely worth the same as a passport.

They lapped it up and let him withdraw his money.

When Ian Fleming was trying to come up with a suitable name for his most famous supervillain, he supposedly took inspiration from an old classmate of his from Eton: Thomas Blofeld.

Fleming was clearly onto something with that because the Blofeld family name continues to be a byword for villainy, even now. In fact, Thomas’s grandson, Piers, is one of the most prominent agents of chaos, mayhem and shithousery working today.

He’s the literary agent of Nadine Dorries.

Last week, we told you about Paul McCartney and Harrison Ford’s recent reunion over a friendly spliff at the River Café. Maybe it’s the universe trying to maintain equilibrium, but a cursed mirror image of that charming meeting occurred at J Sheekey on Friday night.

Armie Hammer was sat there having dinner when James Franco walked in. The two of them locked eyes, enjoyed a big bear hug and then the restaurant got to hear Franco telling Hammer “It’s been so long, bro!”

One positive thing to note: given Armie’s oft-rumoured proclivities, it’s nice to see he’s off the red meat and choosing to enjoy a fish restaurant instead.

Caitlin Moran’s new book about men has been taking a bit of a pasting in the reviews pages this week – particularly her thoughts on men’s “bantz”. It is possible her instincts on the topic still need a bit of fine tuning.

In late 2013, Moran hosted a Sherlock event at the BFI. During the Q&A after, she got Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman to read out some particularly explicit Sherlock fan-fiction she’d found. The whole event came to a shuddering halt while the two actors gamely struggled through it, despite a widespread air of embarrassment.

It was so awkward that Moran got herself a dressing down from the BBC’s then-head of drama, who was present for the event. She was protesting that she thought it would be funny. To which he responded, “YOU’RE THE ONLY ONE WHO DID!”

It’s been a fairly bleak week in the BBC newsrooms, as you might imagine. This morning saw a huge row erupt between execs and editors after their 9:30 meeting. As always, they’re tearing themselves into strips about their own coverage of themselves.

Far be it from us interrupt the BBC while they’re deep in the throes of self-flagellation (what they get up to behind closed doors, etc…) but just a quick word of management advice to John McAndrew.

While there are some pockets of sympathy for you dotted around the newsroom, your repeated complaint to staff that “The only time I’ve seen my wife this weekend has been when she’s on television!” is starting to grate.

C writes:
“In 25+ years of being in live TV, only two people licked the arms of the female researchers assigned to them when introduced for their briefing. Rolf Harris and Hardeep Singh Kohli.

“We never let the girls go near them again.”

Over the weekend, Liam Payne released a new, address-to-camera video explaining where he’s been for the last 100 days (bundled off to a celebrity relaxation centre by his friends). Thankfully he appears to be doing a little better than when we last saw him – and he dropped a great little bit of showbiz information while he was chatting away too.

While in recovery, without a phone to kill time, Liam got very into drawing. Word of this made it to David Hockney’s great nephew, who arranged for Liam to meet the man himself.

In advance of meeting maybe the world’s greatest living artist, Liam wanted to draw a portrait of Hockney himself, which he then presented to him when they met.

And which, he claims, Hockney now has hanging in his house.

The National Enquirer’s disgraced former editor, Dylan ‘Dyldo’ Howard, is selling his Hamptons house
[Want it?]

Online radio that mixes air traffic control with lo-fi beats
[We Guide You Home]

While whales take out the yachts, otters are taking on the surfers
[Read on NYT]

Mobile phones are breaking up gorilla families
[Read on Toronto Star]

A profile of pop’s blandest prophet, Jack Antonoff
[Read on The Drift]

Baby beavers in Essex
[Cute]

Still Bored?
A misprint with Taylor Swift’s latest album has seen eager Gen Z Swifties receiving disguised copies of 90s druggy electro – and it’s been freaking them out…
[Read on Variety]