Popbitch
  • Latest Email
  • Stories
  • Archive
  • Club Popbitch
  • Quizzes
  • About

House Of The Rising Dung

 

Black Friday special! Save up to 40% on craft beer from HonestBrew, including discounts on loads of awesome beers, mixed cases and Christmas gifts. Members have early access now (it’s free to join!) – or wait until tomorrow for the wider release.
[Find out more]
“Gary Neville is not a campaigner. Gary Neville will try to have impact and do things” – Gary Neville
logo
Free newsletter every Thursday subscribe
Email stories to us hello@popbitch.com
* Katie’s live-in litter tray!
* Our undying interest in Brad and Jen!
* PLUS: Andrew. Epstein. Maxwell.
>> Quizmas tidings <<
The play-at-home Popbitch quiz
 

As so many of you took us up on the offer last year, we thought we’d put together another of our play-at-home Popbitch Popquizzes this Christmas to help spice up your festive get-togethers.

Anyone who donates £10 or more to our annual Xmas fundraiser this December will be eligible to download a specially adapted end-of-decade version of the infamous Popbitch Popquiz – with all the questions, answers and quiz sheets you need to host it yourself. It will be available in two separate editions: a PG family-friendly version, or an 18+ version for you and your foul-mouthed mates.

It’ll be ready early next week, so we’ll start sending out download links (and our massive thanks) to donors at the end of the day on Monday 2nd December – then do daily send-outs for any new donors each day, right up until Christmas Eve.

[Donate to Popbitch here]

Thank you to all the readers who alerted us that the word “chazbapped” had no Google results until we used it last week. (To those unfamiliar with the term, it’s the act of snorting coke off someone’s tits, cf. “Chazbaps”.)
>> Priced out <<
House of the rising dung
 

It’s been a rough old week for Katie Price. Dumped, declared bankrupt and now potentially facing the threat of eviction.

Silver linings can be hard to find in this sort of situation, so here’s one for her. If she does get turfed out of her current abode, then it’s highly likely she’ll end up somewhere much cleaner and fresher smelling. Visitors to her home say they have rarely seen a house quite so caked in dog shit and cat piss – and can think of only one other person who has ever let their domestic pet waste situation get so out of hand.

But the chances of the council placing Pricey in the care of Sharon Osbourne are pretty slim.

Nominative Determinism of the Week: The director of last Sunday’s episode of David Attenborough’s Seven Worlds, One Planet… Giles Badger!
>> Big Questions <<
Who’s asking what this week?
 

Which record label isn’t inviting any of their talent to the Xmas party this year after an unfortunate incident at a previous shindig where one of the staff got a little overexcited and puked up on one of their biggest stars?

OK, now it really is fucking cold. If your heating is cranked right up like ours then you should sign up to LOOK AFTER MY BILLS so you don’t get hit with a mega bill. The FREE service switches your gas and electricity every year, automatically, without you lifting a finger! 2 minute sign up. £253 average saving. Join over 200,000 LOOK AFTER MY BILLS members saving the smart way.
[Get signed up here]
>> Currie-ing favour <<
With family like this…
 

The UK election is proving to be just as divisive as everyone feared, with political differences cleaving families clean in two.

For example, Edwina Currie has been tweeting up a storm encouraging people to register to vote for Boris so that Brexit can finally be delivered. Meanwhile in a local politics group on Facebook, one of her daughters is mapping out her grand plans for tactical voting in their constituency.

Although Currie Jr instinctively aligns with the Lib Dems, she announced she’s going to be voting Labour this time around. Anything, she says, to ensure the Conservatives don’t end up getting in by default.

Hungary is withdrawing from Eurovision, declaring the contest to be a “homosexual flotilla”. It’s not quite 2014’s “hotbed of sodomy” from Russia, but we’ll take it.
>> Kicking the CAN <<
The midas touch strikes again
 

Nov 22nd: PR and management firm The CAN Group (whose former client list includes such famously hassle-free, low-drama signings as Katie Price and Kerry Katona) starts touting round their latest talent, Apprentice contestant Thomas Skinner – hyping up his strong fan base and recent positive press coverage.

Nov 27th: Thomas Skinner is fired.

RIP Gary Rhodes. Our thoughts go out to all his family and friends – including Lisa Scott-Lee and Johnny Shentall, who became unlikely pals with the celebrity chef out in Dubai.
>> The fixer’s in <<
Where in the world is Ghislaine Maxwell?
 

Since Prince Andrew’s excruciating interview, the press has redoubled its efforts to track down the whereabouts of Jeffrey Epstein’s elusive “fixer”, Ghislaine Maxwell.

So far, no dice – but it’s weird that Daily Mail editor Geordie Grieg hasn’t thought to put in a call. He and Ghislaine were big pals when they were contemporaries at Oxford and have remained close in the intervening years. In fact, a quick image search through some of the better-known picture agencies shows the two of them partying together as recently as 2013 (and in a very intimate looking clinch in 2003…)

He knows there’s a £10,000 bounty going for this, right? That’s got to be worth a quick text, surely.

Vintage Takes That Have Aged Beautifully, No.728: Dominic Lawson’s March 2011 classic “I Stayed At Epstein’s, So Don’t Hound Andrew”
>> Ferg-et you <<
Sucks to be Sarah
 

It’s going to be an especially interesting Christmas at Sandringham this year. For the longest time, Sarah Ferguson was the one who was persona non grata at the Queen’s traditional gathering; banned from joining her daughters at the event on account of the embarrassment that her tabloid exploits had caused the wider family.

For a while Fergie was permitted to stay in a cottage on the outskirts of the grounds, but took the hint and started making alternative arrangements the year after estate staff told her to expect the imminent delivery of a Christmas tree – which promptly came sailing unceremoniously over the hedge, tossed from the back of a pick-up truck into her garden without so much as a ‘happy holidays’.

That’s the sort of treatment she got just for getting her toes sucked. So we can only imagine what Her Maj has in store for Andrew…

Spoil the pasta lover in your life this Christmas with a ticket to one of Pasta Evangelists’ pasta-making masterclasses. There’s a Veganuary special, a craft beer pairing, a gluten-free workshop; or they can experiment at home with their own pasta-making kit. Popbitch readers gets 25% off on all classes and kits using this link, or the code PBGIFT25.
[Take a look here]
>> Off the Radar <<
Stepping out into the Sun
 

The Sun Online has started poaching talent to fill out its New York office, and where have they been looking? That most inglorious of stables: American Media Inc.

On their list is Gina Bacchiocchi, a senior executive at RadarOnline. The same RadarOnline that was funded originally by Harvey Weinstein, then later funded by Jeffrey Epstein, and finally bought up by American Media Inc where it ran baseless but damaging stories on all of Trump’s opponents – Republican and Democrat – in the 2016 election?

Why, yes! The very same!

Still, it can’t be denied that Gina has a good nose for a story. After all, she was the one who originally interviewed Stormy Daniels about her affair with Donald Trump for InTouch magazine way back in 2011.

If you’re interested in the shadowy history of RadarOnline and its slate of sketchy investors, we wrote a big four-part story on it earlier this year. [You can read it here.]
>> Snappers delight <<
Why we get the news we do
 

It’s been almost 15 years since the Brad Pitt/Jennifer Aniston divorce, yet their relationship still regularly makes headlines and front pages in gossip weeklies around the world. Who do we have to thank for that? That would probably be Mark Coleman, one of the founders of LA photo agency Coleman-Rayner.

Coleman is so obsessed with the Pitt/Aniston/Jolie triangle that he still sends photographers round to monitor their houses every day – a decade and a half later – and regularly dispatches others to keep tabs on their immediate families too.

This week’s hot “scoop” (that Jen is turning to Scientology in a desperate attempt to get over Brad) has all the marks of a Coleman-Rayner collab on it, as it combines Coleman’s fixation with Braniston along with one of his business partner Jeff Rayner’s biggest fascinations: John Travolta.

Jeff Rayner was the guy behind the infamous set of pictures of Thomas Markle getting fitted for a wedding suit. The ones that almost torpedoed the last royal wedding.
>> Foul stroke <<
The devil plays the best greens
 

Many companies, charities and other organisations were quick to cut themselves loose from Prince Andrew – all understandably unkeen to be publicly associated with a bone-dry, sneaky-fingered pizza pervert. But it’s been interesting to see who ended up leaving it to the Duke to sever their ties.

In among the dozens of remaining patronages that Andy had to announce he was stepping back from, we couldn’t help but notice one with a rather striking name: “Lucifer’s Golfing Society”.

We’ve never been fully convinced of the theory that the Royal Family is actually a breed of demonic reptilian shape-shifters – but maybe David Icke was on to something?

Good news. We’ve finally found a rehab exclusive enough for Popbitch readers.
[Visit Istana Jiwa]
>> Hmmms <<
Farts, gulls, boo-boos
 

The Popbitch Popquiz will be back in 2020 at Smiths of Smithfield with our host Tom Webb returning to test your pop culture knowledge and filthy sculpting skills. Get your team signed up here…
[Tuesday 14th January]
[Tuesday 28th January]

 

Johnny Carson, making jokes about Prince Andrew back in 1984
[See on YouTube]

 

The drummer from Shed Seven is on track to become a pub quiz millionaire
[Read on Yorkshire Post]

 

Jonathan Miller and Clive James – RIPx2
[Interview from Saturday Night Clive]

 

Local News Of The Week: Weaponised Seagull edition
[Read on Plymouth Herald]

 

A great Twitter thread of article corrections
[“We regret the error”]

 

The shortlist for the Bad Sex Awards is out
[Read this year’s contenders]

Thanks to: DB, LW, bobbi_fleckmann, AB, TH, DST, MB, JO, SB, J, N, whatever_yeah?, monstris, C, NG, I, JB, SW
Old Jokes Home
Q/ What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

 

Still Bored?
This week’s Media Masters podcast is an interview with David Aaronovitch, who discusses his creative process when writing columns and talks about how the thinking around urban myths and conspiracy theories is influencing our current political climate…
[Listen/Download on Media Masters]

Fancy Another?

  • Bad Elevator Etiquette
  • Recession Indicators
  • Computer Says No
  • Pair With Broiled Raccoon
  • The Smell of Electronic Cheese

  • Privacy
  • FAQ
  • GDPR Statement