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| “I may need to see the booty” – Adam Levine |
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Email stories to us hello@popbitch.com
* The Holly / Phil discrepancy
* Clint Eastwood’s ringtone routine
* PLUS: Celebrity real estate |
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| >> 4Play << |
| God save the stream |
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There’s been quite a bit of ratings chat in the papers this week, disresepctfully pitting the viewership for the Queen’s funeral against other big televised events. Some reports have said just 28 million people in the UK ended up watching Monday’s service, fewer than watched the final penalty shoot-out of Euro 2020 (~31m) or the funeral of Diana (~33.2m).
So what on earth were her disloyal subjects watching instead?
Channel 4’s streaming service All4 had one of its biggest viewing days of the year so far on Monday; a bump in traffic that was largely drawn from people watching episodes of The Inbetweeners. |
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| Prince Harry will have been delighted to see that among those present at his grandmother’s funeral were Lord Rothermere and Rebekah Brooks (after an embarrassing amount of lobbying). |
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| >> Back to business << |
| Cabinet already has a screw loose |
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Anyone worried that a ten-day period of national mourning coming hot on the heels of a change of prime minister/massive cabinet reshuffle might negatively impact the smooth operation of British government can relax. Things have barely changed.
For instance, one prominent cabinet minister is already said to have struck up an extramarital affair with one of the newly installed advisors at No.10. It’s almost as if Boris never left. |
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| Congratulations to Tom Hardy on winning yet another jiu-jitsu competition, barely even a month after his last one. (At this rate, we’re going to have to stop joking about his self-declared SAS credentials.) |
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| >> Big Questions << |
| Who’s asking what this week? |
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What could TalkTV’s most prominent flop Piers Morgan possibly have had to chat about over coffee with a rival media group’s Head of Talent? |
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Help Popbitch! For £4 a month you can join Club Popbitch – which not only gets you an extra Monday mailout but a whole host of other exclusive perks too. Plus, you help ensure that Popbitch stays funded through these weird times. It’s easy to sign up and support us – and just as easy to cancel whenever you want.
[Find out more here] |
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| >> Queue anon << |
| It’s fun to stay at the YMU |
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The continuing tale of Holly and Phil’s queue-cutting has been ticking over for nearly a week now, yet it was Holly alone who got plastered over the front page of the Sun, supposedly fighting for her job. It may have left you wondering why Schofield was spared the same.
The answer may lie in YMU. YMU (formerly known as James Grant) is a celebrity talent agency that has a lot of the UK’s biggest TV stars on its books. As well as getting their clients all the plum telly jobs, it also acts as a sort of informal protection racket.
If a paper ever tries to turn over a YMU client (whether that’s for indulging in class As, being a workplace bully, shagging around or similar) it risks getting placed on their blacklist. That means no access to the rest of the roster. No Ant and Dec, no Simon Cowell, no Rylan, no Stacey Solomon, no Tess Daly – and dozens of others too.
Phil has been so loyal to James Grant/YMU over the years that he literally gave them his firstborn (Molly Schofield currently works there as a talent agent).
Holly, on the other hand, recently left YMU to start up her own agency. Even worse, in July she took YMU to court and won £1,250,000 off them too – so clearly the human shield she once enjoyed is no longer on offer. |
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| Nominative Determinism Of The Week: The crowd science expert who designed and mapped out The Queue is called… Professor Keith Still! |
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| >> Booking issues << |
| A gulf between us |
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Muse were offered a gig by the Qatari government for a half time show at the upcoming FIFA World Cup. Everything was being set up, the commercials were agreed; the band’s people put forward the names of everyone who’d need visas, accommodation and the like.
The Qataris came back to say it all sounded brilliant, they would charter a plane for everyone and they’d sort out the logistics.
A nice hotel was secured for the band, their families and entourage in Doha. Rooms were arranged for the crew too – but because of a shortage of space in the same hotel they were told they would have to be accommodated separately from the band. In Tehran.
At which point the deal fell through. |
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| Spotted last night on a train to Stockport: Angela Rayner, who saw a fellow passenger’s bank card fall between seats. She used the heel of her shoe to retrieve it for them and handed it back with the line “Good job I’m not a Tory”. |
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| >> Signature ring << |
| Calling celebrities |
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JN writes:
“In 2012 I sat next to Clint Eastwood at the Monterey Jazz Festival. We made small talk before things got started. Then I heard the theme to The Good, The Bad & The Ugly and thought someone was messing around with him. He looked around, too, seeming to wonder where it was coming from – then pulled out his phone, answered it and winked at me.
“Pretty great move and a perfect ringtone for him.” |
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| The first winner of Junior Eurovision is now a member of Whitesnake. |
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| >> Picture this << |
| The paparazzo becomes the prey |
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There’s been an interesting twist in the ongoing story of Thomas Markle and the LA media. Jeff Rayner (the paparazzo who originally set up those infamous staged shots ahead of Meghan and Harry’s wedding) has just taken out a civil harassment restraining order against Markle Sr.
The same Jeff Rayner of Coleman-Rayner: the picture agency that almost single-handedly kept the Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt, Jennifer Aniston story alive for nearly two decades by sending photographers to each of their houses every single day in a search for stories?
The same Jeff Rayner whose obsession with the Travolta family became so all-consuming that he once rented their holiday home in the Bahamas just so he could snoop about inside it and sleep in their bedrooms?
Apparently so! |
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Win some money for free on Pick My Postcode, the UK’s FREE daily lottery. They’ve given away over £1.3 million of the money they make from ads. They don’t send spam and they won’t come knocking on your door. Just add your postcode and check daily to see if you’re a winner. You probably won’t be… but who cares? It’s free, and some people have won over £2,500!
[Play Pick My Postcode here] |
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| >> Shifty behaviour << |
| He must have liked it… |
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Last week’s link to Stereogum’s column on Butterfly by Crazy Town reminded one Popbitch reader of their experience with the band’s lead singer, Shifty Shellshock.
They once toured with Shifty and found him to be a very sweet, kind and funny person throughout – if a little cheeky. His favourite prank? Trying to slip a ring onto their finger.
Not an engagement one. A cock one. |
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| Jim White of TalkSport and Sky Sports was spotted at St Paul’s Cathedral on the day of the Queen’s funeral, being asked not once but twice to stop taking pictures on his phone. Second time right by a sign saying “No Photography”. |
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| >> Pen pals << |
| A gift fit for a king |
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official_wadders writes:
“I think King Charles has always had a thing about pens. Back in 1981 he visited my workplace and showed particular interest in the bright red glue pen prominent on my desktop. It dominated our brief chat. Soon after, myself and a colleague sent HRH and his fiancée a glue pen (with refills) as a wedding present.
“We got a charming letter back and the pen ended up on display with all the other gifts, e.g. sapphires from the Sultan of Brunei etc.” |
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| >> Surreal estate << |
| Homes under the hammer |
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Usually we have one showbiz real estate listing in the link round-up in each issue – but something’s obviously afoot in the world of celebrity housing, as there are three stars putting places on the market at the minute.
Nick Cave – Kemptown
[£3.25m]
Boy George – Hampstead
[£17m]
Daniel O’Donnell – Dublin
[€760,000] |
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Allegedly… A Popbitch Podcast. A six-part mini-series we made with Dan Schreiber (from No Such Thing As A Fish) and Ellie Taylor (soon-to-be Strictly star) where we prod about in the stranger corners of showbiz and celebrity. Get it as part of an Audible membership – including free trials.
[Listen here] |
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| Thanks to: babs, theabominablehoman, HS, N, yama, A, KL, RC, JN, EC, GoP, CS, official_wadders, RL, CB, TF, TB, NG, TBG, the_earl_of_essex, leadbone, ML, JL, W, CC |
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Old Jokes Home
Soaring energy bills have hit Chinese restaurants hard.
They’ve kept the lights on, but they do dim sum.Still Bored?
Trombone Champ: the greatest video game of all time?
[ft. baboons] |
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