The Daily Tonic: One Last Rolfaroo

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* Savile’s credit card gag!

* Ron Jeremy’s spare tyre!

* PLUS: A criminal audio round

>> The sweetest taboo <<

Hanging out with Tom Hardy

Today is Tom Hardy’s birthday and he’ll no doubt be glad of the chance to slip into his birthday suit – not that he usually needs an excuse.
While filming his series Taboo a few years back, Tom used to spend an inordinate amount of time absolutely stark-bollock naked on set and was pretty unabashed about who saw what. One of the crew members who was writing prop letters for an upcoming scene found themselves struggling to concentrate on the task at hand when they became aware a nude Tom Hardy was standing behind them, dick and balls dangling freely, quietly watching as they worked.

Three members of Steps (H, Faye and Lisa) used to be bingo callers. So did Russell Crowe.

>> Early shifts <<

Question of the day

Thanks for all your retired anecdotes of cancelled celebs. Today, we want to know about the opposite end of spectrum: stories of the celebrities you had as colleagues in the very beginning of their career. In showbiz, in retail, in hospitality, wherever.
Today’s Question: Which celebrities were you working with before they became famous?
Send your stories of superstar co-workers to hello@popbitch.com and we’ll reward our favourites with a digital PB goody bundle.

theabominablehoman writes: “Re, your request for meeting now-cancelled celebs: hanging out with big dog Westwood backstage at a Chris Brown gig is a two for one.”

>> What a card <<

Clunk, click, PIN and chip

B writes:

“From 2005-7 I worked as a receptionist in the Pursers Office on the QE2 and Jimmy Savile was a regular guest. He was always bowling about in his lime green tracksuit and was generally very nice to everyone onboard.
“When he came to settle his bill at the end of each voyage he would always crack the exact same joke about ‘finding a credit card on deck’ and ‘having a guess at the PIN’. Of course it was his card and his PIN number, but we all had to laugh along. I shudder at the thought now!”

RD writes: “My mum has a wrong’un trifecta. As a teen in the 70s Gary Glitter kissed her hand and Jimmy Savile snogged her in front of a crowd of screaming girls. Then in the 90s she managed a peck on the cheek and a good-natured cuddle from John Leslie.”

>> Sick note <<

The healing power of Rolf

TS writes:

“Years ago I was at some swanky gallery launch of a ‘serious’ Rolf Harris exhibition. He was signing things at the end but the queue was told ‘no Rolfaroos’, presumably because they were worth something or he wanted to be seen as a serious artist.
“I had an empty birthday card to sign for a friend as I thought a card from Rolf would be funny. As I got to the front of the queue security announced that there would be no more signing. I chanced my arm and told Rolf a horrible lie, pretending I had a sister really ill in hospital and a card from him would make her day. He took my card and drew a full Rolfaroo.
“I felt terrible for years. Until I didn’t.”

KB writes: “I met Rolf Harris, gave him my autograph book to sign and proudly showed everyone the ‘Rolfaroo’ he drew by his signature at school the next week. My parents told me I should keep hold of it in case ‘it is worth something in the future’. Needless to say I no longer have it.”

>> Car trouble <<

Wanks for the help

MME writes:

“I lived in New York during the 00s and met Ron Jeremy at an MTV VMA after party. We started chatting and swapped numbers as he was in town for a few days and he invited us to a comedy club with him the following night. He picked us up from my apartment in a rental car and proceeded to drive straight into a traffic island in the Meatpacking District. The tyre took the brunt.
“As we stood outside the car surveying the damage, a small crowd of frat boys formed, absolutely delighted to be in the company of Ron Jeremy – all chanting and fist bumping. Ron, seizing the opportunity, popped open the boot of the car which was filled with memorabilia plastered with his face. He did a trade with the boys to change the tyre in exchange for some porn star goodies. Everyone was happy. I’m glad to report there was no sinister ending to our night.”

When Ron Jeremy records in sound studios, an engineer has to keep chatting to him on the talkback in between takes as he’s notorious for dropping off if left unsupervised.

>> Quarantunes <<

#137: Inside Tracks

Today’s audio round is made up of ten songs performed by artists who have spent time in prison for various crimes. Tax evasion, drug possession, false imprisonment – it’s quite the gamut.
You get a point for every song title you get right and a further point for every correct artist you identify.
[Play it here]

Popbitch Popquizzes: If you’re preparing to conduct all of your social activities over Zoom again, we’ve got just the thing. Our play-at-home Popbitch Popquizzes contain all the questions, worksheets and activities you need to host your own for friends and (occasionally) family.

[Download them here!]

>> Hmmms <<

A couple of quick things

Gollum x Scatman John

[An AI lipsync]
Local news of the day: Canadian dishwasher poo edition

[Read on CBA]
Whose testicles are on Wikipedia?

[Read on MEL]

Thanks to: SB, BM, theabominablehoman, RD, TS, KB, MME

Old Jokes Home

What do punks, hippies and accountants have in common?

They’re all from a counter culture.

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