Don’t want to wait to find out from Santa if you’ve been naughty or nice? Gift yourself some holiday magic with LELO. Luxury products like the mind-blowing Enigma Double Sonic are discounted for the first time! Use code POPBITCHLELO10 for an extra 10% off and you can get as naughty as you’d like.
[Get the gift of pleasure this Xmas] |
|
|
|
“We all fuck. Let’s be grown ups” – Daniel Craig |
|
|
|
|
Free newsletter every Thursday subscribe
Email stories to us hello@popbitch.com
* Mopey Jon Sopel
* Torode undercover
* AT LAST: Popbitch t-shirts are here |
|
|
|
>> IDNSHC (or did I?) << |
& a very Popbitch Quizmas |
It’s the most wonderful time of the year, and as a special treat, we’re releasing some Popbitch gift ideas.
1. Popbitch Popquiz –
The legendary Xmas edition, only £7.50! Look back on the year’s filth and fun.
Eight rounds in total (four sets of questions, one music round, one activity and two puzzle pages) – perfect to enliven any Xmas occasion.
[Download now]
2. Actual Popbitch merch!
Snap up a gift for the Popbitches in your life – from the H&M Creators Studio
– Popbitch Logo!
– GYAC! (Give you a clue, this is old skool messageboard talk)
– IDSHC… IDNSHC! (what did (or didn’t happen) while celeb spotting at the urinals
– Gak!(One for the baby tees, obviously)
Limited edition, more items (like mugs) coming v soon…
[See and buy here]
(As ever; any questions, thoughts or problems
email hello@popbitch.com) |
|
|
|
Spotted on a flight from LA to London, in premium economy no less: Rosamund Pike and her family. She wore sunglasses for the whole flight, glowered at everyone and complained about the English breakfast. |
|
|
|
>> Damp Squib << |
A Christmas Carol |
Katy Perry filmed an ITV special last night, quite randomly, in a Methodist hall in the middle of Westminster.Money is pretty tight at ITV, so much so they couldn’t really afford to do it. They had the brainwave to start charging for tickets to see Katy. TV audiences are normally free (as are church services, presumably) so that anyone in the crowd can be made to whoop and cheer on demand.
Which is perhaps why few people jumped at the £143 tickets on offer, still very much available right up until the 11th hour of filming.
Budgets were so bleak, Katy had to take on some product placement. When the show airs later this month you can probably see her receiving an Amazon Prime parcel onstage and taking a sip of some posh fizzy water to help pay for it all. |
|
|
|
Mel B thinks she’s capable of astral travel. |
|
|
|
>> Big Questions << |
Who can’t stand the heat? |
Gregg Wallace has understandably taken the heat for bad behaviour in the TV chef world over the past few weeks, but there are plenty more where he came from.Which celebrity chef – one with a much more family friendly reputation – once informed a junior runner working on the set of his show that his dick was so big it could “rip her gob open”?
(The runner in question no longer works in TV.) |
|
|
|
,—–, Octopus are not just
/ \ powering
homes they’re
( @ @ )
powering the next generation
\ v / of football stars. This
(())|(()) month
members of their free
))|||((
rewards programme Octoplus
got the chance to score new footie
kits for local teams. Just one of
the many perks customers get for
choosing cleaner, cheaper energy.
Switch today to be on the winning team.
[Octoplus]
|
|
|
|
>> Call of Duty << |
Taking MBS up the Arsenal |
Keir Starmer has invited Saudi Arabia’s Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman to London to watch the football (and presumably justify that freebie season ticket).
If he wants to make kick off then he’d better make sure MBS doesn’t visit the Ministry of Defence first. His tightly controlled 2018 schedule was completely derailed after MOD officials heard of the Saudi PM’s love of video games and arranged a Call of Duty style LAN Party using ultra-realistic headsets.
Much to the irritation of Downing Street and ministers who were kept waiting for hours. |
|
|
|
Waiters who have served Olivia Rodrigo say she’s weirdly interested in the intricacies of British game season. |
|
|
|
>> Slow news day << |
Diva of the year goes to.. |
Given the big names on critically acclaimed Slow Horses nobody would be too surprised to hear that the crew was terrorised by diva behaviour on set this season? But it didn’t come from Gary Oldman, Kristen Scott Thomas or Jonathan Pryce.
Step forward newsreader Krishnan Guru-Murthy, whose self-regard on set was so high, he didn’t want to give his home address to production, as she was so worried about his privacy.
Even when they reassured him that the only reason they wanted his home address was so that the car they’d ordered to pick him up and take him on set would know where to go… |
|
|
|
Brit entrepreneur Dean Forbes has been getting a lot of media coverage lately – surely the greatest fact about him as that he’s called two of his kids Dean Jnr and Deanne. |
|
|
|
>> Alarming? << |
A model shoot |
The tabloids are full of pics of Kate Moss back partying, Kate Moss style, this Xmas.
Fun in the pubs and bars but perhaps more complex in the workplace. Recently when arriving at a studio for a shoot she seemed a little the worse for wear, but nothing an experienced production team couldn’t handle.
They were less sure of what to do when she – in all seriousness – asked them if they’d mind turning the fire alarms off so she could smoke inside. |
|
|
|
Sherry! The perfect gift for the jaded wine lover in your life. Order a tasting case for Christmas at get 1
0% off with the code POPAMOR
[www.sherryamor.co.uk] |
|
|
|
>> Knock Knock shop << |
Divine intervention |
The House of Divine is one of London’s most popular escort services, and they got that reputation partially through prioritising the utmost discretion. Luckily for us though, not all of their former employees are keeping schtum about the agency’s most famous clients.
Here’s what we learned this week (that’s fit to print):
– One Tory Big Beast was a regular client and – Gregg Wallace style – preferred “schoolgirl roleplay”.
– A celebrity chef who loved “getting topped by t-girl dommes”
– And one panel show comedian who, very sweetly, was remembered most for being “nice, normal and vanilla”.
Aw!
|
|
|
|
Blackrock and Amazon are now hiring for personal protection officers for their CEOS (can’t imagine why). You get 80k, a gun, and access to the CEO in question. |
|
|
|
>> Shy John << |
Master(chef) of disguise |
Given all of the hullabaloo surrounding his Masterchef co-star, it’s understandable that John Torode wants to keep a low profile.This week he was spotted having a quiet solo dinner at Mews House, the new and low-key outpost from Soho House. It’s only open for specially invited members, so presumably he’s less likely to get asked about Gregg over dessert.
John has always kept himself further out of the limelight than Gregg though – running a proper restaurant in Smithfields.
He was supposedly friendly, reasonably charismatic, and worked the room in a manner you’d expect from an experienced restauranteur, which felt pretty commendable for a D-list celebrity.
All rather offset, however, by the t-shirt he liked to wear saying ‘SORRY, NO PHOTOS’ in large letters. |
|
|
|
Nominative Determinism of the week: Westmeath community water officer, Cathal Flood. |
|
|
|
>> Trashed TV << |
Netflix and shill |
In the golden age of TV reviewing, writers could get away with a lot.
Most of them didn’t even bother to watch the shows they were assigned, instead giving out glowing or excoriating reviews based on their own prejudices, score settling, and insatiable lust for invites and freebies.
It’s not so easy now with streaming services, sadly.
For instance, Netflix execs were astonished and mystified at one broadsheet review of a show which tore the series in question to shreds.
Until one techie pointed out from data in their account stats, that the writer in question seemed to have watched less than five minutes of the series, total. |
|
|
|
New low-alcohol beer Bu Hong is celebrating its first Christmas with a special offer—12 cans for £12 (usually £28.99)! Vegan, gluten-free, wheat-free, and just 28 calories per can.
[Don’t miss out] |
|
|
|
>> Hmmms << |
In case you missed these |
“I will not touch bread if it’s moist” – Kemi thinks lunch is for wimps
[Batshit interview]
RIP Aussie actor Michael Cole, famed for being the first person to say “shit” on live TV down under
[Watch on Youtube]
TfL are auctioning off all the old Overground signs
[Choo choo]
Someone has made anti-Gregg Wallace badges
[For women of a certain age]
Westminster’s Regency Cafe is up for sale
[A bargain]
Undignified sponcon of the week: The Daily Mail writing about their own, heavily branded Christmas party
[Sounds like a real laugh]
Ronan Keating demo? Picking Me Up – before the lyrics got changed – “the World Bank lets all the black kids starve while journalists stalk all the pop stars” etc
[Listen on YouTube] |
|
|
|
Thanks to: Woof, TK, RL, J, SK, PD, RubbishLogin, AH, D,
maxverstappen, |
|
|
|
Old Jokes Home
Q: What’s the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?
A: The taste.
Still Bored?
Luckily there’s still time to decorate your tree with Sabrina Carpenter, Charli XCX and Chappell Roan baubles for Christmas. Traditional!
[Iconibaubles]
*** WhatsApp us some goss on +44 7923 619540. We’re also on Instagram and our DMs are open (@p0pb1tch)*** |
|
|
|
|
|