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The Daily Tonic: Splashing Pansy

 

Bored of midweek meals? If the pandemic has exhausted your repertoire, SimplyCook is on hand to provide some kitchen inspiration, sending you recipe kits that contain all the authentic herbs, spices and sauces you need to make delicious meals like Balinese Curry, Cuban Mojo Pasta, Churrasco Chicken and more – all from the safety of home. Popbitch readers can try a SimplyCook trial box for just £1 with this link. [Spice up your suppers here]
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* Lockdown Legends: South Yorkshire
* Peter’s man-bush surprise
* PLUS: Your 160th audio quiz
>> Secret agents <<
“Mr Tumble is on another call”
Anneka Rice recently revealed that, for the best part of a decade, she had been pretending to be her own agent: a character of her own invention called ‘Clemmie Hart’ who would turn down all the things that she (Rice) didn’t want to do.

It’s a nifty trick – and Rice isn’t the only one who’s suspected of having done it. There are some at CBeebies who noted that on the occasions they had to call Justin Fletcher (aka Mr Tumble), the female PA who answered the phone sounded uncannily like another of Justin’s characters, Aunt Polly.

anon writes: “[re, Lembit and pub pinball] I went to school with him and recall his childhood home had a full pinball machine, so am not surprised he was the ace in his constituency…”
>> Tat’s entertainment <<
Question of the day
A simple question today, inspired by an email we got about how the Stereophonics’ bassist Richard Jones had his own name tattooed on himself twice: first a misspelled “JONSEY” on his arm, then a simple “Richard” on his neck.

So we want to know more about the other odd things that famous people have had etched on their bodies; the more unusual (and unseen) the better.

Today’s Question: What are the strangest/funniest/most unlikely celebrity tattoos you know of?

Sends stories of celebrity ink to hello@popbitch.com and we’ll dish out some digital goodies to the best of them.

On the Lord of the Rings set, Sheffield lad Sean Bean earned the nickname “Pansy” among extras after complaining whenever he got splashed during a scene on a river.
>> Bushy tale <<
Sleaze a jolly good ‘fellow
 

glossygirl writes:
“Many years ago, when he was still a controversial big name and had just opened Angels, I was sent to interview Peter Stringfellow one rainy afternoon at his apartment above the club.

“He took a while to appear and when he did it was in an enormous, fluffy, black dressing gown and nothing else. I know there was nothing else under the gown as during the course of the interview he slowly (and I’m sure deliberately) let the gown fall more and more open until I could see a good portion of his man-bush.

“A few days later, a lifetime VIP pass to the club arrived at the newspaper’s offices, hand signed by him in gold ink, with a very polite note saying how lovely it had been to meet me. I think I still have it somewhere, but I never used it.”

A reader who went on a couple of dates with Barnsley boy CJ de Mooi (off of Eggheads) says CJ ruined any chance of romance by being “extremely patronising about dauphinoise potatoes” on their second date.
>> Doctor Sleep <<
Fitting excuse for a rock star
 

Having done a stint in the Britpop trenches with Longpigs before starting his own critically acclaimed solo career, Richard Hawley was set to be recognised by his home town of Sheffield in 2008 – with an honorary doctorate from Sheffield Hallam.

Everything was arranged, the university officials were on hand, the press was assembled, and then… nothing. Hawley didn’t show.

He was home in bed, fast asleep, trying to outmanoeuvre a hangover – as the organisers had given him the wrong date.

Someone who was responsible for reloading Jeremy Clarkson’s gun on a shooting weekend says that all of his cartridges were engraved with “JC”. Which means there’s not just one bullet with Jeremy Clarkson’s name on it, there’s loads.
>> Art and craft <<
Jarvis needs silence
 

NB writes:
“Before Pulp made it, they were known in Sheffield as the best local band that hadn’t broken the charts. Everybody else was getting signed and Sheffield was roaring. As the singer of another band that hadn’t been signed, I answered an ad to share their practice room.

“We headed to this building in the city centre. I drew the short straw to knock on the door and discuss the room share, while my bandmate hid around the corner. I could hear someone playing piano upstairs but knocked a few times. Then I waited until there was a break in playing before knocking again, loudly enough for him to hear.

“Cue a cartoon-like piano slam, followed by loud stomping down the wooden stairs to the front door. It flew open and there was Cocker. I opened my mouth to introduce myself and to say I was there about sharing the room… but before I could say a single word he boomed, ‘Fuck off, I’m practicing my art!’ slammed the door and stomped back up the wooden stairs like a big kid.”

When Jarvis famously wiggled his arse at Michael Jackson at the Brits, the (former) solicitor on hand to offer him legal advice in the aftermath was Bob Mortimer.
>> Quarantunes <<
#160: Put a Donc on it
 

Today’s ten tracks all come from one of the four boroughs of South Yorkshire: Sheffield, Doncaster, Barnsley or Rotheram. You get a point for correctly identifying each of the songs (for a maximum of ten) and a further point for getting the names of the artist/s too (another possible ten).

Twenty points in total. None of any actual value.

[Play it here]

POPBITCH POPQUIZ: The Halloween Edition. Containing eight new rounds of pop trivia, music, puzzles and challenges, this specially adapted version of the infamous Popbitch Popquiz is available to download to play with friends – over Zoom, across an empty beer garden, or whatever else your tier will allow. [Order your copy here]
>> Hmmms <<
A couple of quick things
 

Don’t You Want Me by the Human League but just the line “You were working as a waitress in a cocktail bar”
[Listen on YouTube]

Local News Of The Day: Yorkshire Mushroom Looks Like Ghost
[Read on York Press]

The South Park boys and Peter Serafinowicz appear to have started a deepfake comedy series
[Sassy Justice]

Thanks to: NW, RH, slackhack, anon, glossygirl, NC, NB, TM
Old Jokes Home
Q/ What’s white, round and giggles?
A/ A tickled onion.

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