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“I take everything personally, but that’s because I’m so personable” – Aaron Carter
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|_| |_|17.03.15 ISSUE 777
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* Alba’s hair-raising bill
* Bedders the devil you know
* Charts: Lukas Graham still no 1
>> The Lowedown <<
Let the Beats hit ’em
Tidal might be the streaming service it’s most fashionable to stick the boot into, but it might actually be time to have a go at Apple Music.
Beats1 was supposed to be the future of radio, wasn’t it? It’s not like Apple to stay quiet when they’re onto a good thing, and yet they are being pretty secretive about their listening figures. As it’s all streaming it should be easy to access accurate data.
Well, this could be the answer. Their posterboy signing, Zane Lowe – a man who commanded an audience of 3 million in his Radio One days – is rumoured to be drawing more like 25,000 listeners globally. Apple Music sources say Zane’s ego, which was pretty much the size of Jupiter when he was in the UK, is not coping that well now he’s not got his former pulling power.
Andi Peters HATES it when you spell his name Andy. He’s been known to write emails back to people to tell them never to do it again.
>> Big Questions <<
Who’s asking what this week?
Which 80s superstar vocalist turned up at Heathrow with the rest of his band – but couldn’t get on the flight with them, as he’d brought his daughter’s passport by mistake?
Rapper Lupe Fiasco is a big fan of Tottenham Hotspur.
>> Sole mates <<
Bedders the devil you know
Has Daniel Bedingfield been reading The Game? One of the flagship techniques used by the controversial pick-up artists in that book is to wear something unusual and eye-catching on dates to anchor yourself in the minds of women.
It’s our best explanation for the outfit that Bedders had picked out for himself on a recent night out with a lady.
He was wearing odd shoes.
Lukas Graham is currently the biggest selling track in America. (As well as in UK and Australia.)
>> Money shot <<
Alba’s hair-raising bill
Jessica Alba is one of the biggest selling advert and cover stars of recent years, but she’s not the easiest of celebs to hire any more.
If you want Ms Alba for a shoot, she insists on using her own hair, make-up and stylist team. Which isn’t particularly unreasonable. Until you see their bill. The team collectively comes in at… $65,000.
Someone who worked with Jeremy Hunt in the 90s at a business that went bust described him as “the most unpleasant man I ever worked for”.
>> Political insider <<
BBC journos settle old scores
Robert Peston was talking in the Sunday Times last weekend about how he is “open to the idea of romantic friendships”.
If they sound like the words of a man who hasn’t been getting any in a while, think again. To quote those in the know, he has been “shagging like a rabbit” lately.
In fact, his sexual stamina has been so impressive that one of his ex-BBC colleagues has taken to referring to Peston as “Duracell Bunny”.
Justin Bieber used to be in the chess club at school.
>> Rainmen <<
Backstage with Adele
Adele’s backstage flight case transportation turned out to be more prosaic than just a diva demand. She needs to travel in the flight case to get unseen between stages in her set. And we can also set one other thing straight.
According to media reports the rain effect in Set Fire To The Rain near the end of the show was a hologram. Which was news to a bunch of grumpy stagehands who spend a fair part of their nights mopping up the actual water.
The Rocky Horror Picture Show is releasing a mobile game in 2017.
>> Punk’d <<
Anarchy in NZ
Our favourite tax fraudster and self-styled PR guru, Richard Hillgrove was back in the news this week.
In an attempt to drum up attention for his flagging commercial ventures, he and his business partner Joe Corre (son of Malcom McLaren and Vivienne Westwood) announced they were going to set fire to Joe’s collection of punk clothing as a protest against the Queen giving her seal of approval to a Punk London event.
It may look like a tired, pale imitation of the KLF’s infamous million-pound inferno, but Hillgrove does have some solid punk credentials.
Just look at this anarchic TV show he made back in his New Zealand homeland:
http://bit.ly/1UCabHv
Interesting that neither Corre nor Hillgrove are directors in the PR firm they jointly own. That honour goes to a 22 year old marketing manager from Leicestershire…
>> Euromillions <<
Paying the San Marino way
A famous British songwriter/producer wanted to place a song in Eurovision this year. He decided to offer it to San Marino.
San Marino’s Eurovision folk told him they’d be very happy to consider him. But suggested that, as it wasn’t cheap for the principality to be in Eurovision, a “donation” of around 50,000 Euros would smooth its path through the selection process.
He didn’t take them up on their kind offer. Not even when they helpfully said they could probably get by on 30,000.
FYI: San Marino did end up picking well though
http://bit.ly/1nQIZIb
Joe Swash spotted in the Leyton ASDA buying Easter eggs. “Shorter than expected” (Joe, not the eggs).
>> RIP Paul Daniels <<
Thameslink’s disappearing act
Judgeysan writes:
“I was waiting at Farringdon Station one evening when my train home vanished from the display board. I tweeted the train operator saying they’d managed to make a whole train disappear, something even Paul Daniels couldn’t manage.
“Two minutes later, Paul Daniels himself tweeted me to say that he hoped I got home soon.”
FYI: A tribute to Daniels’ magic powers of seduction:
http://bit.ly/1Vfh0zo
“It’s only tits and dragons” – Ian McShane on Game of Thrones.
>> No love lost <<
Remaking your mind up
I Am Love Director Luca Guadagnino says he plans to remake Dario Argento’s Suspiria with Dakota Johnson and Tilda Swinton as stars.
Dario’s daughter Asia Argento’s told a fellow film-maker on Twitter, “Guadignino is a sneaky son of a bitch who licks asses left and right so he can fuck them better… He is a no good cunt who will burn in hell”.
We’ll put her down as being on the fence about this remake.
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>> Hmmms <<
Carter, Trump, Burley
Week two of Hulk Hogan Vs Gawker. Catch up here on the trial that combines the big issue of the the future of internet journalism and celebrity privacy with all you ever wanted to know about Hulk Hogan’s cock and balls:
http://bit.ly/1VfkRww
Michaela Coel got attacked filming The Aliens:
http://bit.ly/22oPIsC
Poor old Kay Burley isn’t sure whose death she’s sad about:
http://bit.ly/1Z4vPVL
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Thanks to: cc, SM, SG, LH, AA, dh, deepstoat, CC
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Old Jokes Home:
Q/ What do you call a hen looking at a lettuce?
A/ Chicken Caesar salad
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