The Daily Tonic: Two-To-Three Wise Men

There’s usually two types of celeb you’ll find at a festival. The type that only mingles in the backstage VIP area, watching shows from the wings; and the type that hangs out front of house, slumming it with the proles, getting smashed and mucking in with the moshpit – enjoying the proper festival experience.

And then you have Matt Smith, who enjoys festivals as a punter but tries to fly under the radar a bit by painting his face like a tiger. He finds that, in doing so, fans who clock him are more inclined to mutter to their friends “That guy with the tiger face looks a bit like Matt Smith, doesn’t he?” – rather than approach him directly for selfies…

It’s probably a little unfair of us to ask this in the context of music festivals – as no-one smells their best there – but ever since we were told that Robert Smith from The Cure smells “like Play-Doh” we’ve been curious about celebrity aromas.

Today’s Question: Which stars have you sniffed? And what did they smell like?

Send your stories of scented celebs to us at hello@popbitch.com and we’ll dish out some digital goodies to our favourites.

Chris Eubank has done plenty on the celebrity speaker circuit over the years. He claims that he doesn’t like to use notes – preferring instead to be “inspired by the moment” – but that hasn’t always worked out so well for him.

Giving a talk for 200 Asda employees one day, he began his speech wanting to thank “The three wise sages who have informed me, guided me and inspired me to achieve the things I’ve achieved.”

“Firstly,” he said, “Jesus Christ, the Son of God.”

“Secondly,” he continued, “The Prophet Muhammad.”

“And the third one…” he went on, “Um… I can’t remember. But he’s very, very wise…”

Enobarbus writes:
“We were very excited to host an evening with Dave Prowse (who played Darth Vader but got his West Country accent dubbed over by James Earl Jones).

“He was a lovely guy, stayed afterwards and answered any questions, signed anything people asked for and flogged some of his stuff. I helped him pack this stuff in the back of his car after. His boot had a strange rope hanging down from it which he explained was there because he’d bought the car off Kenny Baker (R2D2) and Kenny had needed the rope to be able to close it.”

WG writes:
“I was having a drink in a tiny pub in Fitzrovia when, suddenly, Florence Welch storms in asking if anyone wants a pint. Takes it upon herself to get behind the bar and start pouring pints (I got a cider) despite the protestations of the barman who, by all accounts, didn’t appear to know her.

“Jaime Winstone comes in a couple of minutes later. Next time I turned around, Florence had run up to the pie shop upstairs with Jaime in tow. Only she stopped on the stairs, sat down and started crying. The pub was really very small. It was awkward, so I left. Assume she picked up the tab?”

Here’s another audio round for you, made up of acts that were due to play this year’s Glastonbury Festival before it got called off for corona.

You get a point for identifying each artist and a further point for every song title you name correctly. That’s ten songs, a total of twenty points.

[Play it here]

How Yello’s “Oh Yeah” was made and added to Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
[Watch on YouTube]

A Twitter account dedicated to marking the days that various celebrities reach the age of Wilfred Brimley was when Cocoon was released.
[Today: Gwen Stefani]

Otter hygiene
[See on Instagram]