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MASSIVE ATTACK vs ADAM CURTIS From tonight, Manchester Festival. Ground-breaking live show feat film and Robert Del Naja playing live with Liz Taylor. Trailer and more info here: http://bit.ly/10BhXWY
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“I met Michael Parkinson last week. He’s the broadcaster I aspire to be like” – Lizzie Cundy
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|_| |_| 04.07.13 ISSUE 649
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* The Mack is back!
* Peeing and plopping with Gladiators
* Charts: John Newman is number one
>> Kerry gold <<
Katona out of the bag
As you’ll no doubt have read, Chipshop Katona has gone and declared herself bankrupt for a second time. It’s been widely reported that’s she’s lost her gig as the face of a payday loan company as a result of it.
Which makes the news from Bolton that she’s being linked with a rather smart million-pound-plus house on the market in the Bromley Cross area a little surprising.
Gemma Arterton was at Glastonbury with her mum. In the tent that looked like a front room, they chatted happily to people, while nude festival goers were being painted.
>> Professor Plum <<
The very definition of ‘whore’
Sunday People showbiz writer Katie Hind wrote a story about Professor Green moving house. He took to Twitter to complain, vociferously.
“I had my life and privacy put at risk by this woman and people have the cheek to defend her? these scum bag showbiz journalists need a fucking wake up call”.
Prof Green is the ‘Brand Ambassador’ for Chinese telecom firm ZTE. They sponsored his tour. At the same time, ZTE sold the Iranian government a $130m huge surveillance system so they could spy on people’s landline, mobile and internet communications. Human rights groups say many people have been tracked down and arrested as a result of their telephone calls or internet activities being monitored. People’s lives and privacy were actually put at risk by Green’s paymasters.
So, before he calls another journalist a “fat pig faced cunt of a no news whore”, perhaps the Prof should look up the definition of ‘whore’. In our dictionary it says “A person considered as having compromised principles for personal gain”.
Egyptian joke from @tunkuv: “Nasser, Sadat and Mubarak tried to get rid of the Muslim Brotherhood. Only Morsi succeeded.”
>> Pisswatch <<
Gladiators’ dirty protest
It’s not just the Tour de France that brings about worries of performance enhancing drug taking. When Gladiators was on TV, producers had to introduce emergency drugs tests on candidates for a while. Show researchers and assistants were deputed to escort each gladiator into the toilet cubicles while they produced a sample.
There was a short straw to draw for this task – one Gladiator used to follow through and take the opportunity to do a number two.
will.i.am was at the urinal in the Bagliano Hotel, Kensington. “You’re will.i.am?” said a pissing punter. “Yes.I.Am” he replied.
>> Big Questions <<
What people are asking this week
Which Hollywood action film director, with his first film in ages out this summer, has a terrible reputation in LA for demanding sex from actresses who audition for his films?
Jason Derulo says his neck broke in such a way that when he stood up his “whole head could have come all the way apart”. Has that ever happened to anybody (i.e., their head falling off from the inside out)?
OK! billed T4s Rick Edwards this week as “an ambassador for Oasis”. Not the band. The drink. Ambassador for a fruity cordial. No wonder everyone dreams of being a celeb.
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Rubberbandits, Soho Theatre: The only Irish comedy superstars with plastic bags on their heads! An excellent night out – tickets from 10GBP & PBers get 2.50GBP discount off any ticket! Quote “yokes” when booking, 15-29 July: http://bit.ly/13nhSKq
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>> Gym’ll fix it <<
The real Olympic legacy
Louis Smith may not be entering the Olympics 2016 as he’s not sure he wants his life to revolve around gymnastics.
Why? “I don’t have an urge to be in the gym training hard for hours and hours every day… I’d be missing out on a unique opportunity to establish myself as a brand.”
Tony from Liberty X attended Facebook co-founder Sean Parker’s wedding.
>> Hotel Gest <<
It’s David of York
Back in 2011 David Gest told the York Press “he loves York so much he wants to live here”. Looks like he’s a man of his word. Gest seems to be living in York’s Cedar Court Hotel, wearing what appears to be a nice line in goth clothing and hair implants.
A few years ago he was married to Liza Minnelli and best friends with Jacko. Now he spends a Saturday afternoon having his photo taken with tipsy middle-aged women at York’s Pitcher and Piano bar. Amazing the boost appearing on a show like Celebrity Big Brother does for your career, eh?
“I’m very anally tidy and clean, men can’t stand that”, says Liz Jones. Presumably she hasn’t met Will “Wet Wipes” I.Am yet.
>> Popbits <<
The Mack is back!
It’s been a big week here at PB Towers, as two of our favourite rappers have been in touch to let us know that they have new songs:
* Britain’s answer to R Kelly, Mark Morrison, has been away for far too long. He’s back! And he’s soulful:
http://bit.ly/1b9AZIi
* Victoria Aitken (aka Vicky from the Yacht) has got a new single, Neon Nights. A slight touch of Dolores Cranberries to the vocals:
http://www.victoriaaitken.com/dev/
Chris Huhne spotted jogging on Regent’s Canal last week.
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POPBITCH SUMMER QUIZ! Tues 9 July.
* Pop accordion karaoke classics
* Weird arts and crafts
* Family Fortunes
* Trivia, gossip, music
* Excellent new drinking den venue 7-9pm Rotary Room, 70 City Rd EC1Y2BJ
http://bit.ly/1235k7S
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>> Mellow drama <<
Getting in a lather over nothing
So that Coronation Street “scandal”? Are we missing something?
* Soap actresses invited to event where brands give out free stuff.
* Girls given free, unsolicited items by fake company.
* Girls asked by fake company Aziendale to tweet about it.
* Girls show good manners by thanking them.
The world of corporate endorsements, celebrity PR and its media coverage is such a murky business – this surely can’t be the best example of sleaze?
And given that @aziendale still only has 38 followers on Twitter, it would seem that the only thing proved is that the impact of getting a soap star to tweet about your product is pretty small.
Darren Anderton was spotted this weekend buying two small bottles of water in a newsagent in Chorleywood.
>> Flo rider <<
Miller v Welch
fleety3000 writes:
“Friday night at the front of the Arctic Monkeys there was a bit of excitement a couple of songs in when it appeared there was a celeb amongst the crowd…not one that was shying away from attention either. Up she comes behind me taps on my shoulder and says “We used to go to school together” (I went to an all boys school). I turned around and said ‘I’m sorry but I’m watching the Arctic Monkeys.’ Florence Welch simply moved onto the next person and got on their shoulders…”
FYI: Sienna Miller showed how to behave at Glastonbury. A huge drunk bloke almost fell on her watching Primal Scream. She barely batted an eyelid.
This week: Tesco’s two-day Xmas range press launch. Day one couldn’t have been stellar. Day two, a “surprise guest” announced: Katie Price, unveiling her new fragrance.
>> Hmmms <<
Cave, Murray, Pigs
How to get a no 1 single – KLF manual sort of updated for Icona Pop:
http://bit.ly/14TeW3y
Conspiracies and scams are raging on the competition circuit:
http://bit.ly/12f2Wqh
Strangest duet of the year? Buzz Aldrin and Thomas Dolby:
http://bit.ly/167TCGS
Nick Cave Watch: Amazing shot of Nick and a fan in love at Glastonbury (seasoned spotters will notice Nick is once again giving his right side to the camera…)
http://bit.ly/124OAKd
We’re descended from chimps. And pigs now too, apparently:
http://bit.ly/14PClDe
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Ken Barlow or Bet Lynch? Which soapstar are you? http://bit.ly/11Junw5
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Thanks to: AA, HC, GC, JO, B, SG, flobbit, AP, theabominablehoman, AM, axemonkey, DY
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Old Jokes Home:
I was trying to explain puns to my kleptomaniac friend today, but he kept taking things literally.
