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Antagonism

 

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“The Tory revolution was once fermented in the townhouses of Notting Hill… This generation are #Uber-riding #Airbnb-ing #Deliveroo-eating #freedomfighters” – Liz Truss
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* All hands on Dec!
* Blowtown: The Musical!
* Charts: Drake 9th week at No.1
>> Sexing with the stars <<
Laughing our fucking arses off
 

We knew that Redfoo from LMFAO likes to request his own songs at clubs where he’s out, but it seems this policy also extends to his own bedroom.

According to one lucky lady, Redfoo put on one of his own songs (I’m In Miami, Bitch) and sang along while he got to work. But changed the lyrics to “I’m in your pussy, bitch”.

We told you before that Leonardo DiCaprio likes to wear his earbuds while shagging, but Pitbull goes one better. He often keeps his shades on through the entire act.
>> Mail order <<
Do as we say, not as we do
 

The Daily Mail is currently on a crusade to rid the world of plastic, but perhaps they should have started by looking a little closer to home.

Associated News employees are baffled as to why – if they’re sincerely trying to cut down on waste – the Northcliffe House canteen is still dishing out plastic cutlery rather than having proper silverware.

Nominative Determinism of the week: the camera/video editor on the BBC’s recent documentary on Ethiopia’s giant dam? Phil Nyle!
>> Big Questions <<
Who’s asking what this week?
 

Which high-ranking record exec dropped his wallet in front of a waitress at the BRITs last month so that he could make an ever-so fresh “WHILE YOU’RE DOWN THERE, LUV!” joke when she bent over to pick it up for him?

And all while wearing his white rose #MeToo badge…

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>> Stage hands <<
Blowtown: The Musical
 

The West End is a notoriously debauched place, but Motown: The Musical is getting itself an extra special reputation for hedonism.

One recent audience was treated to a little sideshow in the royal box, when a woman started giving her companion for the night a very visible blowjob. Another man who attended last year enjoyed the show so much that, when he was asked to leave for being too drunk, he stood outside the theatre doors and started furiously masturbating.

RIP Katie Boyle. Not only did the former Eurovision Song Contest host make it to 91, her obituary in The Guardian was written by Dennis Barker. Who died three years ago.
>> Antagonism <<
An undignified episode
 

One interesting thing to emerge from the wreckage of Ant McPartlin’s drink-driving this week is just how damaging PR can end up being for people.

Reporters at the Sun had taken a serious look into Ant’s various personal problems, and they knew how deep-rooted his lifestyle issues were. None of that reporting saw the light of day though, as it was all jettisoned in favour of a bunch of relatively soft-soap tell-all interviews so as to try to preserve the Ant and Dec brand (and, by extension, ITV’s share price).

Now it’s clear that Ant’s problems weren’t just a blip caused by knee surgery, will any of the bad actors in this whole sorry episode pause for thought?

Will the friends and colleagues who always piled back to Ant’s for his legendarily generous after-show parties consider their part in it? What about the handlers who spun those semi-fictional stories to keep their commissions intact? The hacks who helped it along to further their careers? What about the execs who dragged him back on air to meet their ratings targets?

It’s ironic that there’s going to be no Takeaway this week. Because that’s what this situation requires.

At last, someone has found a way to harness Vice’s workplace culture for good. Channel 5 has commissioned Vice Studios UK to produce “a three-part docu-series examining Britain’s growing cocaine epidemic”.
>> All hands on Dec <<
Friends in high places
 

Where everyone else on ITV was content to skirt over the Ant McPartlin situation with a brief, solemn word, Piers Morgan was uniquely vocal in his insistence that Dec push on with his career, go it alone and keep the money rolling in while Ant battles with his demons in rehab (and/or prison).

Why is Piers so invested in Dec continuing to hold down the very lucrative fort?

He isn’t. But their shared manager (James Grant Management) is.

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>> Formula love <<
Lewis and Gigi’s winning team
 

After a quiet winter making music and hanging out with his bulldogs, it’s almost time for Lewis Hamilton to go back to the day job and start another F1 season. So, regular as clockwork, here come the stories linking him with a hot female celebrity.

This year it’s “flirty texts” with Gigi Hadid! Gigi is, of course, fresh out of a two year relationship (/contract) with Zayn Malik.

It might all seem a bit silly but Lewis’s image is big business. This year, his F1 suit features 12 logos worth a total of £112m.

To put that into context: that’s more than the shirt sponsors and sleeve logos this season for Arsenal, Bournemouth, Brighton, Burnley, Crystal Palace, Everton, Huddersfield, Leicester, Newcastle, Southampton, Stoke, Swansea, Watford, West Brom and West Ham – combined.

 

FYI: Coincidentally, Lewis and Gigi are both paid to model for Tommy Hilfiger.

Matt Hancock’s favourite songs right now are: Sigrid’s Don’t Kill My Vibe, Skepta’s Konnichiwa and Ed Sheeran’s Castle on the Hill.
>> Peter habit <<
Thiel’s special getaway
 

When we read it in Ryan Holiday’s book about the Hulk Hogan/Gawker case, Conspiracy, we wondered why the hell Peter Thiel would ever need a getaway car.

But now that the Cambridge Analytica story has hit, and the Facebook board on which he sits is in serious trouble, it makes perfect sense.

Wherever he is in the world, at home or abroad, Thiel has a black S-Class Mercedes waiting for him. It has to be parked nearby, 24/7. And always with the engine running.

Just in case.

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>> Baby talk <<
Liz and son stay close
 

Those who follow them on Instagram will know just how close Elizabeth Hurley is with her son, Damian. This isn’t just a pose for social media though.

When talking to one another IRL, Liz addresses Damian as “Baby” and he calls her “Mama”.

The inventor of Baileys used to drink in the Pillars of Hercules. He named it Baileys after the bistro that was then next door.
>> Strike two <<
NBC’s Zucker punch
 

Last week, we started a new four-part series on how two Hollywood writers’ strikes twenty years apart have had a staggering impact on today’s pop culture and politics.

The first part dealt with the 1988 WGA strike, and how it saved Fox TV from almost-certain doom – while bringing about the dawn of reality TV.

This week, we release the second part which deals with the 2007/08 WGA strike – and how one man’s mistakes would accidentally rehabilitate the profile of Donald Trump, give Piers Morgan the chance to break America and let InfoWars’ Alex Jones loose on cable news.

[Read ‘The Name Of The Scientist’ on Popbitch]

 

FYI: The intro [‘A Tale Of Two Strikes’] and Part One [‘Journalusting Repugnance’] of this series are totally free to read. Part Two is behind a tiny 10p paywall – but we promise you it’s worth it…

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>> Hmmms <<
Trump, Trump Jnr, condoms
 

Our old mate Joel who made us the Gak Attack game back in the day has done a cartoon pilot with Sony Pictures
[See on YouTube]

Congratulations to the newly elected VP City Students Union officer… Tuna Kunt!
[See on LinkedIn]

There’s a beef going on down Waterloo between ABBA and the local residents’ gang
[See the petition]

Want some Harry and Meghan wedding commemorative condoms?
[See at Crown Jewels]

Donald Trump Jnr’s affair with reality TV star
[Read on People]

Remember we told you about playmate Karen McDougal’s affair with Trump Snr? Here’s the suit she’s filed.
[Read it here]

Want to help Stormy Daniels’ tell all about her affair with the US President? Contribute to her fundraiser
[Pledge on CrowdJustice]

Apropos of absolutely nothing
[Read ‘The Clean Kill’ on Popbitch]

Thanks to: JC, AC, KS, K, GHK, posh_duckhunter, M, EN, JG, bad_horsey, J, DF, JV, P, JS
Old Jokes Home
Customer: “Have you got that new book about small penises?”
Librarian: “I don’t think it’s in yet.”
Customer: “That’s the one!” 

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