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Baby Tomato Haterz

 

 More toilet talk, ITV’s bomb-heavy schedule and Artists For Grenfell still No.1
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* Picking up where Ed Miliband left off
* ITV’s new bomb-heavy schedule
* Artists for Grenfell still No.1

>> Oasish <<
Classical studies
As part of their Glastonbury coverage, NME wrote a review of Liam Gallagher’s new material.The first edition of the review featured the sentence: “Gallagher and band followed Wall of Glass with fellow new songs Greedy Soul, Bold and the searing, Oasis-esque Do You Know What I Mean?”

That would be the same Oasis-esque song that was a number one hit for the Oasis-esque band Oasis in 1997, the lead single off their record-breaking (and rather Oasis-esque) album, Be Here Now, would it?

Katy Perry had Sunday lunch in the Culpeper in Whitechapel this weekend. Judging from the leftovers, someone in her entourage really hates baby tomatoes.
>> Second bite <<
Legendary behaviour
Last week we told you about a runner who got thumped by a famous A-list actor (ironically, famous for playing hard bastards) when they were trying to adjust his lapel mic.

We made a little error in our report. It wasn’t a runner. It was in fact a skilled technician – a sound assistant.

Also, we’re told the same sound assistant had a second run-in with this actor. A much weirder one, in which the actor didn’t punch him, but bit him. On the head.

Someone ought to put a muzzle on him. (There’s one in an old props department that will fit him.)

Between them, the three boys from Hanson now have 12 children of their own.
>> Big Questions <<
Who’s asking what this week?
Which currently-in-the-news celebrity once managed to gamble 300K on his phone betting app in less than one hour?
POPBITCH SUMMER QUIZ! Come and enjoy Independence Day with special American menu and drinks. US-themed quiz rounds plus the usual trivia, music and filthy arts and crafts. 7.30pm at Smiths of Smithfields, next Tuesday, 4th July.
£5pp, max team size of six. Tickets: [Popbitch Popquiz]
>> Cunning Stunt <<
James is fortune’s fool
There’s an old joke we had cause to remember during the ongoing Petra Ecclestone/James Stunt divorce circus: “How do you make a small fortune? Start with a large one and open a winery.”Stunt knows it only too well. When the famous teetotaler got into the wine biz he decided that he should buy up a bottle of each Petrus vintage, then sell on the full set for a fortune to the Chinese market.

A pretty shrewd investment. Or at least it would have been had he not got round to completing the set just as the Chinese authorities ordered a huge clamp down on bribery and corporate gifts, sending prices tumbling.

Leaving Stunt looking at an eye-watering loss.

Nominative Determinism Of The Week: Editor of Stock & Land magazine… Tyson Cattle!
>> IED-TV <<
Boom and bust
ITV held its annual producers’ forum this week. The director of programme strategy, Rosemary Newell, said she wanted to refresh the channel’s line up and would be up for any amount of disruptive stunts, big events and experimentation.Or, as she chose to describe it (without much thought to current events) she would “throw a bomb at the schedule”.
This year’s Big Brother TV ratings are not only lower than Love Island’s, they’re lower than the Love Island spin-off discussion show After Sun.
>> Canned laughter <<
The camera never lies
Talking of throwing a bomb at their schedule, it looks like ITV’s flagship catastrophe The Nightly Show is slated to return to the channel later this year – much against everyone’s better judgement.Even Bradley Walsh, ITV’s safest pair of hands, struggled with it. He performed one monologue that was so bad during the recording, the decision was made to cut it from the final broadcast. When Walsh found out his jokes had been canned, he hit the roof.

To mollify him, producers blamed it on a faulty camera, saying they had no secondary footage to cut to during the jokes and so had no choice but to bin the entire thing.

The camera was fine though. They just didn’t want to air it.

FYI: Whispers suggest that the show won’t have week-by-week hosts when it returns. Sound like they’ve settled on Dermot O’Leary.

Want to lose weight without willpower? Popbitch readers have been loving Slimpod… “From the first listen things changed. My attitude to what I’m eating – and how much – have been turned upside down… I’m thrilled.” Promo code POPBITCH – 20% off any programme:
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>> Toilet talk <<
Yet more celebrity bumf
Listening to Iain Duncan Smith cough his way through the Jeremy Vine show this week made us realise how much we missed Ed Miliband and his toilet talk, so we’re going to get the ball rolling again.This week: Joan Collins

The toilet in her flat in Belgravia, we’re told, is “quite grand, formal, lots of heavy dark wood and a marble floor”. But most interesting was the stuff on the walls. Where the rest of her flat is filled with photographs of her posing with various megastars, the walls of her bathroom are given over to countless original cartoons of Joan from newspapers – all joking about what a big slut she is…

Got a tale from a celebrity toilet? hello@popbitch.com

Queen and Adam Lambert will be releasing the first-ever virtual reality live concert ‘experience’. Which they’re calling… VR The Champions.
>> Ginger whinger <<
Not so great to be back
If Geri ever dreamed of guest-presenting The One Show, sad to say that those hopes might now have been dashed. It seems that her performance last week will have her unofficially blackballed from the show for the foreseeable future.The Ginger One was apparently extremely demanding all day, descending upon the show with an entourage that made P Diddy look like Billy No Mates. Not only did she request multiple touch-ups throughout the show’s “extremely long” VTs, she also got into a bit of a tense tete-a-tete with the show’s prompt person when Geri failed to recognise her own lyrics in rehearsal.

Worst of all, it’s not like the publicity did her any good as Angels In Chains failed to crack the Top 100.

(We’re still glad to have you back though, Geri.)

The Chainsmokers have now spent 60 consecutive weeks in the top 10 of the US singles chart.
>> Selling out <<
Celebrity auctioneering
Looks like times are tough all over. Even the big stars of yesteryear are now selling their possessions off to make ends meet.Charlie Sheen is auctioning off loads of his baseball memorabilia – including Babe Ruth’s 1927 World Series Ring and the contract of sale for Babe Ruth from the Red Sox to the Yankees (thought to be one of the most important contracts in sporting history):
http://lelands.com/bids/And he’s not the only one. Lloyd Cole is selling off his golf clubs on eBay too…
http://www.ebay.com/itm/-/292165421367
No fewer than eight of Trump’s golf clubs host a framed copy of Time magazine with Donald on the cover. It’s fake.
>> Spurned <<
The heat is on
Tottenham Hotspur players arrive back for training on Monday, ready for their new season at Wembley.

Behind the scenes huge amounts of work have been done on the new White Hart Lane ground, but there’s already some fear it won’t be ready in time for the 2018 season.

Spurs execs have already brought this up with Premier League bosses. If it’s not up and running by next August (and it’s looking tight) then the league can schedule the club to play away games only. To a maximum of 7 games.

Beyond that? Who knows…

This week’s Media Masters podcast – with Laura Desmond, media entrepreneur, board member of Adobe Systems and former CEO of Starcom Mediavest.
[Listen here at Media Focus]
>> Hmmms <<
Brooklyn, Bruno, bag of cans
First it was Beyonce fans, now we learn if Fine Gael’s TDs ever enjoy a bag of cans
[Read on Daily Edge]Brooklyn Beckham’s photography is… erm
[See on Twitter]How TMZ turned itself into Trump’s biggest media ally
[Read on Think Progress]

An otter pack
[See them on Facebook]

Bruno Mars v David Guetta
[Listen on YouTube]

Some amazing portraits of US army veterans
[See on BoredPanda]

Album covers and adverts which have been censored in Middle East
[See on PetaPixel]

Thanks to: pauline, J, posh_duckhunter, C, yama, NT, JS, A, JG, monstris, AA, SA, bucked_off, drunken_boht, technician_in_the_know
Old Jokes Home:
I started a boat business in the attic.
The sails are going through the roof.Still Bored?
AI inspirational quotes:
http://inspirobot.me/

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