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Father Ted’s Pauline McLynn and legendary voice of Blur’s Parklife Phil Daniels fuel the chaos under candlelight in The Knight of the Burning Pestle at the Sam Wanamaker Playhouse this Xmas, Shakespeare’s Globe. Free mulled wine, mince pie tix with code PCDPOP (20-30 Dec):
http://bit.ly/1vqShMt
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“I’m the governor at banter”- Jimmy Bullard
POPBITCH _ _ _ _
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|_| |_| 04.12.14 ISSUE 717
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* Jokes with Beth Orton
* A Wintour’s Tail
* Charts: Union J for no 1
>> Ghostbusted <<
Writing wrongs
Christmas came early for Random House this week, with news that the novel by YouTube beauty vlogger, Zoella, debuted with enormous first week sales of 78,000 copies.
Few people would be surprised to learn that she had some help writing it (what celebrity doesn’t?). It’s also no
surprise that she doesn’t want to admit it was ghostwritten (again, what celebrity would?)
But it does seem a little sad if the rumour going around is true that the chosen ghostwriter, Siobhan Curham got a flat fee, and won’t see an additional penny from those sales. Let’s hope her agent got her a decent fee, as some of the other ghost candidates approached were being offered around eight grand.
Scholatic Books signed up teen pop star Talia Storm this week. Anyone approached to ghostwrite her book: demand a royalties clause!
>> Big Questions <<
Who wants to know what?
Which media couple saddened friends this year when they announced they were to separate? They’d always seemed so in tune with each other’s needs. For his birthday she bought him 24 hours with a prostitute and for her’s, he bought her a sixsome with four other women.
Shame it’s not more like South Korea here: pop star Jessica Jung was thrown out of Girls Generation for starting her own clothes line.
>> Keeping shut up… <<
…with the Kardashians
Kim Kardashian’s been accusing her best friend, Jonathan Cheban, of leaking stories to the media about sister Kourtney and her relationship woes with Scott Disick. Well, he might be, but we haven’t seen his name attached to any of the stories circulating for cash. Which is something that can’t be said of, erm… Scott Disick.
Oh, and Kim: you might want to avoid telling anything important to anyone you know who describes themselves as a “sports executive and family friend”. Because he’s at it too.
The white throated snapping turtle breathes through its arse.
>> A Wintour’s tail <<
Conde Nast: no sinking ship
Conde Nast have delayed moving into their new Manhattan office at One World Trade Center. It’s full of rodents and Anna Wintour is not amused. But before she gets too up in arms about it, perhaps we should explain how the little buggers are thought to have got in.
Wintour made such specific requests for the layout of her offices – demanding that ugly walls be removed left, right and centre – that the rats have inadvertently been given the run of the place.
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>> Swiss cheese <<
Who is this C4 star?
SRD writes:
“I was in a Thai massage parlour (just regular massages) in Swiss Cottage, and the masseuse had to stop part way through and get her friend to take over. A man then came out of his room to complain to management
that his massage girl was “a nice girl, but she has no strength”. After complaining for an embarrassing five mins, even after they told him that they would switch to the girl he had last time he came out with the big guns: “I’m a very famous person. I’m on Channel 4, look me up. I’m internationally known.”
“I couldn’t see who it was. Can any readers work it out?”