Cruel To Be Kyle

Getting a bikini wax is never the most relaxing experience, but it must be extra nervy when you’re a recognisable celebrity that’s getting hair yanked out of your arsehole.

In order to give Holly Willoughby her best chance of finding any sort of tranquility at these beauty treatments then, her people will call the salon ahead of her arrival to make one special arrangement. They ensure that any magazines in the waiting room that have stories about her are removed.

After winning a raft of BAFTAs at the weekend, Killing Eve had an afterparty for its Series 2 UK premiere at Century Club in Soho earlier this week.

In attendance was Jeremy Corbyn’s son, Seb, who spent the bulk of his evening boring some poor young woman to tears about how badly the press had screwed him over with their story about him putting his ex-council flat up on AirBnB (a story which broke back in February – and is clearly still rankling).

We hope for his sake that it wasn’t a date. Because after the 15 minutes she spent in the toilet trying to avoid him, it’s unlikely there’ll be another.

First it was Prince Harry. Then it was Paul Hollywood. Now who is the latest person having a panic that there might be some old pictures of him dressed as a high-ranking Nazi at a party in the early noughties which could resurface and torpedo his new career prospects?

It would be crass of us to be too gleeful at the news of Jeremy Kyle’s show being axed (even though the prick once set his lawyers on us – including one singularly rabid one who’s been a semi-regular thorn in our side ever since). But while it’s gratifying to see Kyle getting properly turned over after all this time, it is worth remembering that he was not the only person responsible for the tenor of his TV show.

ITV always managed to feign shock whenever the show resulted in violence or unpleasantness – but one TV exec remembers ITV bods telling production companies at a commissioning meeting that they were looking for new shows to fill their “Chavs Fighting” morning slot.

Stories from runners and other production people about their time on Jeremy Kyle are starting to trickle out, but we told you back in May 2014 about some of their worst practices.

One member of staff who worked at the hotel where Kyle’s guests would regularly be housed when the show filmed at Granada Studios told us that crew would constantly be dropping off packages for guests (mainly consisting of cigs and booze, because the guests were under instructions not to charge expensive extras like that to their rooms).

One of the more obvious packages they dropped off was two bottles of vodka, for one young girl who was due to appear on a show the next day about drinking.

Who was then criticised for being drunk while filming.

It’s also worth remembering that we, the general public, are not entirely blameless in all of this.

Back when his show was at the height of its success, ITV execs thought it might be a good idea to double the fun with a spin-off show. The plan was to make a UK version of ‘Dr Phil’: the legendary American talk show which covers the same sort of issues, but with comforting psychobabble and lots of therapy in place of all the fighting and screaming.

And how did viewers take to this sort of warm and fuzzy approach?

So badly that it quickly went off air.

Having managed to pull the Lib Dems out of what seemed to be a terminal nosedive, Vince Cable will leave a lot of his colleagues with some very happy memories when he resigns later this month – though some memories will be happier than others.

One person who won’t forget their old boss in hurry is the poor staffer who was tasked with collecting a set of Vince’s holiday photos from a nearby Snappy Snaps. The staffer had a quick skim through to make sure they’d collected the right set. All in all, they were a regular set of snaps that any person might take on their travels.

Plus one slightly cheekier shot that he’d taken of himself relaxing in the bath, a bunch of bubbles artfully positioned in such a way so as to protect his modesty.

It’s been another complicated year for the Eurovision Song Contest – what with it being staged in yet another host nation with febrile political tensions, a contentious record with human rights abuses and loud calls for a boycott – but it seems that next year might be less problematic for pop fans.

The bookies currently have the Netherlands as the big favourite (a lovely James Blake-style song with boring bloke-at-a-piano staging) although Australia’s pop-opera warbler (with ghostly dancers on huge wobbly sticks) has been steadily creeping up the ranks to become the hungry underdog.

If you are choosing to watch the show tomorrow, then the companion guide that we put together each year has been updated and reordered just in time for the final, so you can update your copy by downloading it here.

And if you aren’t watching, still make sure to cross your fingers for the Icelandic anti-capitalist, BDSM-leather-strapping electro-punks, Hatari. We desperately want you to see their performance somehow, so here’s hoping they get a chance to reprise their growly little masterwork for Reykjavik 2020.

[Download the Popbitch Guide here]

This week: notes from a celebrity draper
– Frank Skinner is very indecisive
– Emma Thompson’s coffee cups are filthy
– Daniel Craig is “a bit disappointing in the flesh”

Done any domestic work for a celeb? hello@popbitch.com

The cock and ball connoisseurs among you will likely remember the story from a few years back about a US Navy pilot who drew a gigantic penis in the air: one he expected would dissipate quickly, but ended up lingering around long enough for people to spot it, take pictures, and then complain to the Navy who would go on to investigate it.

Well, a US Freedom Of Information request has just unearthed a transcript of what was said between the pilot and officer when the decision to draw a big sky-dick was made – including detailed dialogue about the direction of its shaft, the lopsided nature of the testicles and the feasibility of flying back to draw a great big vein up the middle of it.

[It’s worth a look]

Baboon Pool Party!
[Badgers, assemble!]

Ozzy Osbourne is selling plushy bat toys with detachable heads
[See at ozzy.com]

Some extremely tasteful art from artist Fanny Fielding
[www.fannyf.art]

We were asked to sit on an expert Eurovision panel to rank 60 of the UK’s Eurovision entries
[Read on the Independent]

Still Bored?
Jeremy Hardy had his memorial service earlier this week; this was the project he was helping with before he died
[See on GoFundMe]