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It’s the Grand National on Saturday. If you fancy a flutter, BET TODAY with William Hill to get free matched bet up to 25 pounds: http://bit.ly/XZzUKn
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“I love Oasis and Liam’s a top man and both being northerners we had a brotherhood. He even knew who I was” – Kevin Liberty X
POPBITCH _ _ _ _
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|_| |_| 04.04.13 ISSUE 636
Free every week: to subscribe/unsubscribe
go to https://www.popbitch.com
To send stories email: hello@popbitch.com
* Tally-ho! Grand National
* Tally rising! Kickstarter
* Charts: Duke Dumont is no 1
>> Help us! <<
David Icke’s dad dancing
We have a Kickstarter project to build a big and shiny Popbitch digital magazine. We’re nearly there, but not quite – so we need your help.
Donate to us now and you’ll be the only ones who get the special first edition – which includes (among loads of other stuff) the story behind what David Icke is doing in this video…
http://bit.ly/ZcTx7K
>> What’s up Doc? <<
Wishful thinking at Groucho
markthebiker writes:
“Dr Who Matt Smith keeps grabbing male bottoms in the Groucho Club when drunk, including mine. I reckon he’s definitely on the turn.”
So last week’s question as to which celeb had been hassled for photos at the Groucho was answered. It was Damian Lewis.
>> Big Questions <<
What people are asking
Which gossip-column friendly celebrity has such unusual taste in men she’s had both Simon Cowell and Marc Anthony?
Headline of the week – from the Jordan Times in Amman: “1452 Syrian refugees entered Jordan on Sunday.”
>> Top 5ive <<
It is a great business name
Vandalising a minor celebrity’s Wikipedia entry is a tricky art. So many people do it badly, it’s refreshing to see a good bogus claim get posted up that isn’t then edited out instantly.
So hearty congratulations to the person who managed to get this on J from 5ive’s entry:
“J, known by his family as Jimbo, now runs a bathroom and kitchen tile business called Bonnie Tilers around the Runcorn/Widnes area.”
Re: Union J filming their video in Sneinton, Nottingham – Jake Bugg filmed his ‘Two Fingers’ video there too.
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Forget the race card – download 101 lucky charms to your e-reader and you’re guaranteed the winner (touch wood…) http://bit.ly/17eP5Gr
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>> GRAND NATIONAL SPECIAL <<
Help for watching on Saturday
TIP 1 – BET ONLINE TODAY
* Bookmakers start to withdraw their free bet offers from tomorrow. By Saturday heavy traffic will mean betting online is rather hard!
Bet now with William Hill – Stake up to 25GBP and get up to 25GBP free matched bet
http://bit.ly/XZzUKn
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TIP 2 – The stats say go for:
* Horse aged 9-10
* A brown boy horse
* Likes left-handed courses (look for good Aintree/Cheltenham form)
* Recent form not that important
* Won a race over 3m, worth 17k+
* Weight below 11st 7lb
* Horse, jockey nor trainer tend not to win two in a row (last year: Daryl Jacobs/Paul Nicholls)
* Horse maths: look for one word name starting with S, R, M or C
* However, last year’s winner bucked two trends – grey and 11.
Picked one you like? Bet up to 25GBP for free matched bet here:
http://bit.ly/XZzUKn
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TIP 3 – WHICH HORSE ARE YOU?
BetVictor’s Facebook App tells you what horse in the Grand National best matches your personality based on six simple questions: Create matches for you or your Facebook friends, you could win an iPad 4:
http://bit.ly/1074l4b
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TIP 4 – ACTUAL TIPS
* Cappa Blue, Rare Bob – most tipped. And Ballabriggs e/w
* Seabass and Teaforthree – also fit above profile
* The Betvictor app tells us to bet on Colbert Station
* Huge favourite is On His Own ridden by Ruby Walsh
Got a tip for us? – hello@popbitch.com
Fancy one of these? Bet here: http://bit.ly/XZzUKn
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How do you pick your GN winner? Tell Coral and you could win an iPad mini http://bit.ly/13U3nx7
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>> Queen of the Hill <<
And new kids on the block
The Primose Hill set have undergone a bit of a revamp. Now in place of Kate Moss, Noel and Meg, Davinia Taylor, Jude Law etc, we have Nick Grimshaw, Pixie, Cara Delevingne Rita Ora and Harry Styles. (Applause please for old-timers Sadie Frost and James Gooding for grimly hanging on in with Grimmy and the others.)
The stories are much the same though. Gooding, Sadie and Grimmy plus a load of hangers-on, were on an awayday at a country pub last weekend. This was the kind of conversation overheard by the locals:
“Shall we do another half?” was greeted with a response of “Why not? I’ve got loads in my room,” from one of the hangers-on.
Props also to Davinia’s ex Dave Gardner who is still hanging about, thanks to getting linked with Rita Ora.
>> Cockwatching <<
Looking through the Priest hole
7zark7 writes:
“Rob Halford sent me photos of his cock on Gaydar once.
“It is very large.”
This week’s Swedish lesson: Fart-hinder. Speed bump.
>> Crossing the Lynne <<
Ramsay’s bitchin’ nightmare
Lynne Ramsay’s no-show as director of Jane Got A Gun made headlines, with producer Scott Seindorff publicly ripping into her.
So why did Ramsay walk? Her main demand had been getting final cut. This was agreed, in return for delivering the film on time and on budget. Sounds simple? By the time filming started the set was awash with rumours of budget changes, and re-writes. All things which would likely make sticking to timing and budget impossible. Ramsay started to think there was no chance of the final cut she’d been promised.
But the final nail in the coffin? Having hired the director of Ratcatcher, Morvern Callar and We Need To Talk About Kevin, a producer proudly announced they were setting out to make “the new Dances With Wolves”.
“Boy George doesn’t like giving out his number” – according to Steve Strange.
>> Signing on <<
More than jokes are old
Someone hands Bobby Robson an autograph book, asking for his signature. Bobby takes it. The punter says, “Thanks Bobby, you must have to sign hundreds of these.”
Bobby agrees, handing back the book. Signed “Bobby Hundreds”.
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Horse Racing not your thing? Try Liverpool’s other institution – Alexei Sayle’s first full-length solo stand-up show in over 16 years. Until 13 April, Book now!
http://bit.ly/14p3Y9h
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>> Europopbits <<
Balkan wubs and dubs
Montenegro’s entry to last year’s Eurovision was cruelly overlooked. This year, they’re not taking any chances.
Using a ‘kitchen sink’ approach, the video sees them dressed in Breaking Bad attire (hot right now), throwing in some heavy dubstep wubs and dubs (hot right now) and setting bikini-model cage fighters against each other (a timeless classic).
In a sea of whiny, female-driven ballads, this is an interesting addition to the line-up.
http://bit.ly/12kINB9
Thatevilwomanwrites: “I saw Sienna Miller at High St Ken Tube yesterday. She looked glowing post-baby. Absolutely no other fucker recognised her”.
>> Hmmms <<
Pervs, alpacas, Di Canio
What do you do if your legal career at News International got interrupted by the phone hacking affair? Why, write a (slightly poorly received) play!
http://bit.ly/ZbXARR
Colin Baker doesn’t like being called a perv:
http://bit.ly/YxEEdL
If you haven’t got round to reading Noel Edmonds’ autobiography, someone did some highlights:
http://bit.ly/Xfq7T8
Madonna and Malawi, tensions are running high:
http://bit.ly/13TGQAJ
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QUIZ! QUIZ! QUIZ! QUIZ! QUIZ! QUIZ! Monday 15 April The Player, Soho, 7pm. Live accordion round + more! 5GBP each. Email comp@popbitch.com for table.
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Thanks to: JC, deepstoat, thatevilwoman, neville_bartos, sharon_tate_modern, kw, JC, NW, SDW, thebestnameshavegone
Thanks to DM for the Pearl and Dean paaaa pedantry correction
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Old Jokes Home:
Handed in my notice at the helium balloon factory. I was sick of my boss.
No-one talks to me in that voice.
Still Bored:
Indifferent cats in amateur porn (NSFW)
http://bit.ly/YUHuZO
