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“The football world has been very good to me. I can’t think of anybody I would’ve liked to have met and haven’t. What a humble man Pele is” – Richard Keys
POPBITCH _ _ _ _
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|_| |_| 27.02.14 ISSUE 679
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* David Shayler’s Tube Tales
* Brown-nosing Piers Morgan
* Charts: Pharrell back at number one?
>> Sunny and shite <<
Don’t Menschn the Muslims!
Never one to keep a dignified silence when there’s names to be dropped or points to be scored, Louise Mensch decided to tweet her opinions, in the wake of the Lee Rigby verdict, of who she considers to be quintessential British Muslims.
Blogger-turned-journalist Sunny Hundal made Louise’s short list – to great surprise. Partly because Sunny’s a leftie. But mostly because he’s Sikh.
The British Library shop sells a black and white postcard of a young Martin Amis. Amis went in to buy a whole stack of them.
>> Ex Factor <<
I Can’t Sing can’t sell?
After the demise of the latest Lloyd-Webber musical, Stephen Ward, great things are expected of “The X Factor Musical”, I Can’t Sing. But behind the scenes it’s not all good. Preview shows have been cancelled due to “technical issues”. Or something. Ticket sales have been pretty awful. And have you noticed that the “X Factor” branding has quietly been removed from the posters and marketing?
Author Harry Hill’s recent TV and big screen forays have flopped and Nigel Harman’s disastrous National TV Awards taster hasn’t helped. Rumours in the camp also suggest his relationship with co-producer Simon Cowell is a wee bit rocky, thanks to some kind of snubbed record deal years back.
Even musical behemoths like A Chorus Line and Wizard of Oz didn’t manage to make it work at the Palladium, so when this goes tits up (and it may not that be long to wait), that might be it for the theatre and musicals, and it will return to year-round variety programming.
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POPBITCH POPQUIZ – special night at MADE, at CAMDEN ROUNDHOUSE. 5GBP per ticket, 7-9pm – WEDS 12th MARCH. Hosted by Tom Webb with live pop accordion from Will.
Email: hello@popbitch.com for ticket info.
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>> Big Questions <<
Who wants to know what?
Which Brit TV turned Hollywood movie comedian showed a strange lack of humour when filming at the skate park on London’s Southbank? He was heard screaming “Are you talking to me, fuckface?” loudly at a member of the public – who, we’re guessing, must have shouted something like “Oi, ginger!”
John Kettley is still a weatherman! He’s the private forecaster for Cheltenham racecourse.
>> Moonpig dot bomb <<
The weird world of online cards
What links child porn users and terrorists? According to some London-based web coders it’s moonpig.com. In the age of massive internet surveillance it seems that some of the people who use the net for nefarious purposes have turned to making greetings cards to share images that they may not want others to see, as they seem to think that images are unlikely to be checked or logged by Moonpig.
Unexpected hacking trial hero: Ross Kemp, who was said to have taken one look at the “Bonkers Bruno” headline and said “What is that, what are you doing?”
>> Tube tales <<
A whole new world order
SF writes:
“Spotted – an unkempt David Shayler (not Delores), wearing dirty blue tracksuit bottoms and leather jacket, talking on the tube very loudly to clearly embarrassed man in pinstripes, about how people ignoring the moral issues around slavery in the early 1800s is similar to our wilful ignorance around the ‘9/11 conspiracy’.
“Sample quote “I used to think Tony Benn was a principled man. I gave him my film on 9/11. I asked him if he’d watched it and he said ‘oh yes’. ‘So, what did you think?’ ‘Very good’. So, are you going to raise it in parliament?’ ‘Oh no’.” This apparently was symptomatic of the true political order.”
Daily Telegraph birth notice of the week: “Grimston – to Gallia and Hugo, twin sons, Lorcan Sebastian and Hector Sylvester, brothers for Merlin”.
>> Morgan’s rum <<
A darker shade of brown
Ben Winston – the man who directs James Corden and helps Gary Barlow with his “jokes” on X Factor – had his nose turned a third shade of brown this week when he jumped to the side of Piers Morgan.
“I really like @piersmorgan show. Sounds like he has become a victim to his own brilliant anti gun campaign. No shame in that at all.”
And he’d be right. Except, of course, for the fact that Piers’ ratings have always been terrible. Americans really haven’t much cared for posho Brits telling them what’s what with their country since 1776.
Harold Ramis, best known for directing Groundhog Day has died aged 69.
Harold Ramis, best known for directing Groundhog Day has died aged 69. etc…
>> Europopbits <<
Dr Alban meets his waterloo
Blink and you’d have missed the Dr Alban comeback. His piss-poor entry is already out of Sweden’s Eurovision contest.
The good news, however, is that old troupers, Alcazar, and last year’s incredible Manga-boy, Yohio are through to the Melodifestivalen final.
http://bit.ly/1cbqMPy
FYI: Girl power – at this year’s Melodifestivalen, at least 20% of the selected entries had to be written by female composers/lyricists in a full or partial capacity.
FYI 2: Latvia are looking to be this year’s hipster entry with a ukelele-led busking song about baking.
http://bit.ly/1cbqMPy
Eurovision fans say this is the video call for the UK Eurovision choice. (Their money is currently on Nina Nesbitt, btw) http://bit.ly/1jDdydR
>> Feeling blue <<
When good pop goes bad
Can we put an end once and for all now to the trend for taking great pop songs and slowing them down to a busker’s kind of acoustic drone to sound more authentic?
The bloke who won Ireland’s version of The Voice is doing Eiffel 65’s Blue (Da Ba Di). Surely we’ve reached the end of the line?
Warner Music Norway says that What The Fox Say has sold more than three million copies around the world.
>> Hmms <<
Keys, cock, balls
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Thanks to: Monstris, SG, AD, JB, Secrets of Voodoo. lucydrawbridge, posh_duckhunter, JE, DW, Deep_Stoat, mountstnobody, M, fluornaut, KR, ulysses
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Old Jokes Home:
A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: ‘I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.’
Still Bored:
Dear Borthwick Institute, one of the Aero Girls you are trying to find is the painter, Rose Wylie. Email us,
hello@popbitch.com for info:
http://bit.ly/1fLkdlJ
