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Werner Herzog in Conversation – Guidance for the Perplexed. Fri 16 Jan, London. Last remaining
Balcony Tickets available to PB readers with 20% discount – 20GBP. Book here with code “POPBITCH”
http://bit.ly/1wjgDGR
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“I don’t like to be around people who pass gas.” – Alexander O’Neal
“Everybody wants to be loved… but I’m not one of those people” – Katie Hopkins
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|_| |_|07.01.15 ISSUE 720
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Email stories [email protected]
* Diddling with Dimbleby
* RIP Gordon Ramsay
* Uptown Funk for No 1
>> Woking up to you <<
But which direction?
As we predicted back in early December, Liam from 1D has just moved to Woking. But he might not be the only member of the band to have made the move.
One of the boys has been seen visiting Liam’s £5m mansion a lot more frequently than his other bandmates. Who knows? Maybe the Larry Shippers really were on to something?
Just because Oldham Athletic have said “no”, doesn’t mean Ched Evans will take it as an answer…
>> Party talk <<
HRH gets down with the kids
Prince Andrew was a guest at a party at Cameron Diaz’s house a few years ago. One poor soul who ended up getting talking to him says that HRH spent most of the evening complaining how the UK press liked to build people up only to knock them down, saying that it happened not only to him but also to his favourite band “The Radioheads”.
Prince Andrew (aka the Duke of York) is fond of telling this joke: “The Grand Old Duke of York. He had ten thousand men. And it bloody hurt, I can tell you.”
>> Big Questions <<
Who’s asking what this week?
No stranger to causing trouble, which celeb once admitted in an interview to having sex underage and being a drug dealer? Her people forced the removal of her quotes before the interview aired. That really would have given viewers something to complain about.
John Legend’s All Of Me celebrates a whole year in the singles chart this week.
>> Peacock, don’t preach <<
Footballer’s TV conundrum
Former Chelsea footballer turned preacher Gavin Peacock has been in a bit of hot water for airing his rather conservative views about marriage on Twitter.
Still, it’s nice to see someone practice what they preach. When he used to travel to Chelsea away games, Gavin would hide near the back of the coach with his eyes covered so as not as not to see any of the hardcore porn videos being played on the TV.
Carol Vorderman seen at the Mandarin Oriental, HK, with “massive blonde hair. Looked better than you’d expect, in a Dynasty sort of way.”
>> Animal passion <<
Diddling to Dimbleby
Caitlin Moran has been telling people that there’s a scene in Raised By Wolves in which her character pleasures herself in front of Question Time. The good news is that C4 asked for David Dimbleby’s permission to use a clip and Dimbleby was fine about it.
Novak Djokovic spotted this Xmas at the Wild Wadi water park in Dubai. “Top bloke,” we’re told, “having pictures done with anyone.”
>> Gordon’s alive! <<
These things come in threes
You may have seen that Danny Dyer and Ricky Martin were both victims of fairly high profile death hoaxes over the holiday season – but an even weirder one came out of Brazil.
The website Planeta Terra ran with the news that Gordon Ramsay was among the 169 passengers in the downed Air Asia flight.
Hundreds of people have posted their condolences, but no-one has yet corrected the story.
Kelly Brooks is the new face of the Atkins diet.
>> American hustle <<
Renner’s marriage fraud?
Jeremy Renner, who got married pretty secretly last year to a model 20 years his junior, is now getting divorced after just a few months. The reason his wife cites? “Fraud”.
The last time we saw the fraud card being played was when Renee Zellwegger dumped her hubbie Kenny Chesney (which gave us one of our favourite ever rumours – linking Kenny with NFL superstar Peyton Manning).
Renner’s divorce is unlikely to throw up anything nearly as fun, as he’s been linked with actor Kristoffer Winters for years.
All of the top ten best selling albums in UK last year were by British artists.
>> Eurovisionaries <<
“Have a fucking good time!”
Conchita Wurst is going to be a hard act to follow at this year’s Eurovision, but Finland might have the band to do it.
One of the 18 songs they have announced as a national finalist is by Pertti Kurikan Nimipaivat, a punk band made up of musicians with learning difficulties. And they are brilliant.
They were the subject of a documentary in 2012 and the film’s trailer shows them composing a song about how pedicurists are all fucking cunts who treat feet.
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Win! The Art of the Brick exhibition is unveiling new sculptures this January and you could win a pair of tickets to see them. Over 100 pieces of art created out of over 1 million pieces of LEGO. To enter – email
[email protected] with Art of the Brick as subject line.
http://artofthebrick.co.uk
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>> Hmmms <<
Pervs and paws
Ronald McDonald meets Ozzy Osbourne in Mac Sabbath:
http://bit.ly/1xUZS8H
A supercut of men on Take Me Out rubbing their hands:
http://bit.ly/1AJI2F3
Want to buy a copy of Charlie Hebdo or subscribe? The remaining team putting together the next issue might appreciate it:
http://bit.ly/1BPj7y9
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Thanks: deep_stoat, NS, DH, LMES, monstris, abominablehoman, SG, SM, MS, J, BD, ulysses, BH, SA
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Old Jokes Home:
Q/ What’s 7 inches long and hasn’t been sucked for 2 years?
A/ Whitney Houston’s crack pipe
Still Bored?
Jeremy the koala is the cutest, cutest thing:
http://ab.co/1tQs6zZ
