Eat My Spaghetti

It’s been rather strange to see Michael Wolff and Toby Young in the news so much recently (Wolff for the commotion surrounding his new book on Trump; Young for the commotion surrounding his bad tweets).

Their stories might seem unconnected but, around a decade ago, Wolff and Young were actually something of a team. The two of them paired up for a business proposition – something that would combine Wolff’s love of scurrilous, outlandish gossip and Young’s love of making crap, off-colour jokes.

Together, the pair of them put in a bid to buy… Popbitch.

Twenty years ago, in his Limp Bizkit heyday, Fred Durst was famous for always wearing a bright red cap.

Ten years ago, when Bizkit money got a little tight and Fred had to take over the band’s tour management duties himself, he invested in a black cap that he would wear to let people know that he was in serious management mode. (The red cap was reserved for showtime; he would only put it on when he was ready to tear shit up.)

Now, in 2018, it appears that Fred has found another new hat, one more befitting of his elder stature. The famed Limp Bizkit cap has gone grey.

Which of this year’s BAFTA nominees was so terrified that he’d caught a dose from a holiday romance, he scrubbed his dick down with brandy in the hopes it would kill off any infection?

During Strictly Come Dancing it was no surprise to see tweets from Sandi Toksvig supporting her former News Quiz co-star, Susan Calman. Thinking she might enjoy it, the BBC reached out to Sandi to suggest that she come along to sit in the audience for a recording – an idea that was knocked back quickly.

Why? It turns out that Sandi and Susan are not quite as chummy as it first appears. We hear that Sandi doesn’t care to be social with Susan, and that their relationship is now strictly business.

As for the tweets? Turns out that the two comedians share the same agent – who was the one doing all the tweeting in an attempt to keep everything looking cool and breezy, despite their private hoo-hah.

James Franco drew some heat this week when allegations about his own potential misconduct surfaced after he collected his Golden Globe wearing a #TimesUp pin.

The allegations picked up enough momentum that Franco was forced to address them on Stephen Colbert’s show (to which his response was, effectively, “It’s crucial that we listen to women… except for the ones making accusations about me”). So consider this a little heads up, James.

The next big story regarding the harassment of women in showbusiness is going to be about the actors of your era who have used social media – specifically Instagram – to groom their teenage fans. In fact, we have one in the chamber about a different actor who’s been rather quiet in recent years that we’re trying to sign off with our lawyers.

Given that you famously tried to hook up with a 17 year old Instagram follower during that run of Of Mice And Men a few years ago, you’ll maybe want to make sure your talking points are watertight.

As the prospect of another public inquiry into press ethics looms, perhaps we can make a little suggestion?

We don’t mean to tell Lord Leveson his business, of course, but it always seemed strange to us that the world of PR was excluded from the first edition. If you’re trying to understand the interplay between the press, celebrities, politicians and the police, Public Relations struck us as being a pretty essential piece of the puzzle.

Not least because the most influential PR man in Britain, Matthew Freud, was:

1/ A Chipping Norton neighbour of Leveson stars Rebekah and Charlie Brooks, David Cameron and Raisa the police horse

2/ The PR man for phone-hacking victims Steve Coogan and Hugh Grant (before Freud and Grant had a bitter falling out)

3/ Married (at the time) to Elisabeth Murdoch, daughter of Rupert

Now that Andy Coulson and other News International journalists have sidestepped into the PR industry too, maybe a chance to correct it this time, eh Brian?

The National Theatre’s production of Follies closed last week, after getting incredible reviews. Those who caught it towards the end of the run may have noticed a slight change in the casting of one particular scene though.

There’s a scene which sees Buddy chasing two women around the stage in a fevered little fantasy as he sings the God-Why-Don’t-You-Love-Me Blues. In a little British twist though, the ‘women’ were actually men dressed and styled as panto dames.

It seems Stephen Sondheim saw the live cast and wasn’t impressed by the inclusion of the dames, so told the director to change it. Lawyers were even mentioned.

Needless to say, the change got made.

Godfrey Smith, editor of the Sunday Times Magazine during its 60s and 70s boom, died over the festive break.

Godfrey’s largesse when it came to editorial expenses was legendary within the industry. He famously sent half his office off on a jolly to Yugoslavia to do research for a special edition of the magazine, yet not a single word of copy ever resulted from it.

His writers weren’t afraid to chance their arm either. When Philip Norman took himself off to America to interview Stevie Wonder, Diana Ross and PG Wodehouse, he sent a message back to Godfrey claiming he needed some time to think about all these stories – so wondered if he could come back, first class, on the newly launched QE2.

The reply?

“Of course, dear boy! Of course!”

The gold standard for bad sex lyrics at Eurovision is currently set by Belarus, who sang a few years back about getting all lost in a girl’s “sweet cheesecake” – but the Czech Republic may be making a snatch for the crown this year.

This song is the current favourite to represent Czechia in Portugal in May. The track owes a debt to Jason Derulo’s Talk Dirty – but those lyrics about “making a puddle” and having “motherfuckers eat my spaghetti”? Those we can get behind.

[Listen on YouTube]

We took a look through Fire And Fury to see what tactics Wolff was using
[Read on Popbitch]

Fancy having Lisa Maffia from So Solid Crew at your wedding? She’s up for being a wedding crasher, so let her know…
[See on Twitter]

Lorraine Kelly’s house is on the market
[Browse on Savills]

Unfortunately named drunk-driver
[See the report]

How Baileys got made
[Read on Irish Times]

Local News Of The Week
[Read on GetSurrey]

Naff Co 45’s domain name is up for sale
[Bid on eBay]

Still Bored?
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[Check out the Rectory Hotel]