Gum Stefani

With lockdown and social distancing looking like they’ll be going on much longer than first hoped, TV producers are scrabbling around to find anything at all they can fill their rapidly emptying schedules with.

One show under consideration is a Simon Cowell-produced quiz called Rolling In It. ITV filmed an entire series but it was so bad that they quietly shelved it. Now that material is scarce and channels are running out of options, ITV are thinking they may have no choice but to dust it off and broadcast it.

We’re told it’s quite the treat…

Piers Morgan has been getting a lot of favourable attention for his interviews with government ministers recently, holding their feet to the flames more firmly than most. Before he gets too puffed up though, here’s a little story to ground him.

Back in his newsroom days, one of the ways that Piers was known to exert his masculinity was by placing his foot up on the desk of any attractive female reporter he was talking to; a move that made his crotch a little more prominent than was perhaps necessary.

One afternoon, Piers had assumed this position on someone’s desk and was telling her that he would pay for her to fly anywhere in the world to get a story. One veteran reporter who had just stumbled back from an eight-pint lunch overheard this offer, so grabbed his passport – which he kept in one of those big leather holders.

Full of liquid courage, he shouted “You might as well have this, because you never fucking send me anywhere” and flung it full force at his editor.

Thanks to Piers’ stance, it caught him square in the knackers.

Which comedian has a curious lucky charm he brings with him to panel shows? A wardrobe technician took his shirt to be ironed ahead of one such recording and found a used tampon in the breast pocket.

This is the 43rd Popbitch mailout we’ve sent out since lockdown started. To those of you only getting the weekly edition, you’ve been missing out on lots of daily shots of smut and silliness from us. This week alone we’ve had brand new stories about celebs’ sneaky booze tricks, skip hire of the stars and Quincy Jones’s favourite Michael Jackson joke.

If you aren’t signed up, you should sort that out – but we’ve kept an archive of issues so you can catch up.

[Sign up / Read back issues]

In light of Victoria Beckham furloughing her staff, we asked readers of yesterday’s daily which celebrities had the most ostentatious entourage members.

on_air writes:
“One of my favourite entourage anecdotes came from shooting with Gwen Stefani for TV. She came into the studio with three people (which is not so outrageous). We briefed her on what to say etc, and she nodded, all the while chewing gum. We lined up to shoot and, as we asked her if she was ready, she opened her mouth wide. One of the poor girls with her leant in and daintily removed the gum from her mouth.

“She was clearly trained to do so as not a word was spoken. When we called ‘cut’ said girl re-emerged, Gwen’s mouth opened and the gum was summarily replaced. Gwen just then went on chewing until the next take.

“This was repeated all day.”

JP writes:
“My friend worked on Broadway on the Wizard of Oz with Roseanne Barr in 1997. Apart from the usual entourage, there was a man who was always just lurking around. Apparently Roseanne had ordered a margarita in a random bar in LA and said it was the best she’d ever tasted. She hired him on the spot to be her ‘Personal Margarita Man’. That’s all he did, fix drinks whenever the whim took her.”

Laurence Fox has put his house in Kent up for sale and locals aren’t terribly upset to be losing their local celebrity. They say he didn’t integrate at all with the community – except once, when he first moved in.

Lozza approached the local vicar to see if any of the parishioners had any spare camping equipment he could borrow. The vicar reached out to his flock and found someone who said that, yes, they did have some camping equipment but that if Fox wanted to borrow it he could come and ask for it himself.

He never did.

When News UK unveiled the new TimesRadio logo this week, fontspotters quickly noticed it uses the same typeface as Radio 4. If Murdoch is trying to invoke a subliminal connection with the BBC by using it, then he ought to be careful. He could end up accidentally invoking a connection with something even less savoury.

The typeface in question is Gill Sans, which has been used throughout the BBC in its corporate logos for decades. It was created by Eric Gill: a sculptor whose work adorns Broadcast House.

An artist with a rather unusual private life, Gill’s personal diaries reveal that he had a voracious sexual appetite which saw him engage in multiple extramarital affairs – including incestuous ones with his sisters, his elder daughters and even the family dog.

While that sort of behaviour might get you your own kids show at the Beeb, a respectable organisation like News UK might want to think twice about such a brand partnership.

It’s come as no surprise to some journalists that we’ve had so many stories in about Bill Nighy recently. One former Heat writer tells us that he was their most spotted celebrity of all time.

They even made a little trophy for him to honour this, but Bill’s agent refused to let them give him it. So they took matters into their own hands and kept the trophy in their handbag for the next six months in the hopes that they’d bump into him and be able to pass it over personally.

Sadly, it never happened – but the honour remains.

Been saddled with sorting out a quiz night for your mates? Want to keep your colleagues amused with minimum effort? Enjoy disappointing your family? Well, we’ve put together another brand new Popbitch Popquiz this week that might just help you out.

This week’s quiz contains eight new rounds of trivia, puzzles and activities all designed to be completed under lockdown – including an exclusive audio mix, celebrity court portraits, a little game of ‘Enid Blyton or Erotica?’ and a Boris Baby wordsearch (how many kids can you find…?)

We’ve got all sorts of packages and bundles on offer too, so take a look.

[Get your Popbitch Popquizzes here]

Every Covid-19 advert is exactly the same
[Here’s a supercut on YouTube]

Who ordered the Britpop version of Gal Gadot’s Imagine?
[It’s for a good cause, at least]

Reggae album covers, reshot in their 2020 locations
[A great project]

Local News Of The Week: Big Chip edition
[Read on York Press]

Let an AI make your memes for you
[AI Meme Generator]

Some expert tips on how to turn household items into sex toys
[Read on NYPost]

This week’s Media Masters is a talk with Nima Elbagir, a senior international correspondent with CNN – who has reported from some of the world’s most dangerous regions, putting herself at great personal risk to bring important human stories to wider attention.
[Listen/Download at Media Masters]

Still Bored?
Soho Theatre On Demand is still bringing you the best in live comedy and cabaret. As well as the stage recording of Fleabag (profits of which go to charity) there are loads of live comedy shows they’ve made on there – inc. Nish Kumar, Mae Martin, Panti Bliss, Mr Swallow and more…
[Rent a show for just £4]