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Heard It On The Grapevine

 

NEW TEXT HERE Charts: Despacito is No 1 again
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* Rupert Murdoch’s channel crossing
* Celebrity crackdown at BBC
* Charts: Harry v Ed for No.1
>> Product displacement <<
MacKenzie faces double chop
 

If you’re one of the remaining few who can still bear to read Kelvin MacKenzie’s column in the Sun, you’ll maybe have wondered why he’s been mentioning his price comparison website, A Spokesman Said, so much. Well, it’s because he desperately needs it to take off.

Kelv is facing an expensive divorce. Remember a couple of years back we reported that he was having an affair with a secretary at the Sun, and was all set to shack up with her until getting cold feet at the last minute? His wife has finally decided to give him the boot and is set to take him to the cleaners.

Presumably the reason he’s working the self-promotion angle so hard is that he knows Rebekah Brooks is aching to bin his 300K a year column – cutting costs and helping to detoxify the Sun’s brand in one easy move. He’s hanging on by a thread (thanks to support from editor Tony Gallagher and owner Rupert Murdoch) so is almost literally trying to make hay while the Sun shines.

Supreme Court judges Antonin Scalia and Elena Kagan used to watch episodes of Veep together.
>> Brown no’s <<
Doors closing for Dylan
 

Poor Dylan Jones. He stuffed his tongue so far up David Cameron’s arse that he almost slipped a disc, but what has it got him?

Despite putting his name to a crawling book of interviews with the man himself, Jones is still waiting for Cameron to come good on the peerage he so desperately wants – but the ceaseless bumlicking hasn’t even reaped Jones a cushy job in the meantime.

It didn’t do him any favours at Vogue House (the workplace of SamCam’s sister) as the application he put in for the job of editor was turned down.

It didn’t do him any favours at Northcliffe House either, as he applied for the Evening Standard job too, but lost out to George Osborne.

Actress Catherine Hickland was married to David Hasselhoff for four years in the 1980s. She left him to marry a man named Michael Knight.
>> Big Questions <<
On the grapevine this week
 

Which former cabinet minister likes to really ramp up romps with his wife by whispering this killer line into her ear:

“Do you want more…? Because there is more.”

Want more Popbitch for the long weekend? We’ve compiled a selection of long reads and stupid shorts from our third year of publishing Popbitch Magazine – and it’s free for everyone. Download it now!
iOS: http://bit.ly/1bexc8Y
Android: http://bit.ly/1vvdK7H
>> Celebrity crackdown <<
BBC nearly removes the Sting
 

Security has been tightened at the BBC. New measures have just come into force at the old Broadcasting House which stop people from entering reception unless they have a pass (even if that pass is waiting for them at reception) and requires guests to have their photo taken (to stop imposters using any old pass).

The very first day of this new system was highly successful. Security apprehended three people trying to get access to Steve Wright’s studio without the necessary paperwork.

Thankfully, crisis was averted, the trespassers were processed in full, and there will be no charges pressed against Morgan Freeman, Michael Caine or Sting.

Liz Jones’ review of Damien Hirst’s Venice exhibition: she liked it until it “all became a bit ground-floor of Harrods”.
>> Blind rage <<
A bad first date
 

Seems as if it’s not just us who thought the new prizes on Blind Date are a heap of old shit. Even host Paul O’Grady got rather withering during filming when he discovered they were sending winning contestants on dates to hipster hobbies rather than the Caribbean or somewhere sexy.

“Junkyard golf? Ping-pong? It’s like a super-Christian date, or a day out for people in prison or rehab.”

RIP Don Rickles. Channel 4’s tribute to him the day he died? Screening The Simpsons episode where Homer hits him with his car.
>> Channel crossing <<
It’s bad for what Ailes ya
 

Operating a multi-channel media network has worked out pretty well for Rupert Murdoch, but sitting at the helm of such an unwieldy, sprawling beast is not without its perils.

The US cable network Showtime has acquired the rights to a show called Secure and Hold: The Last Days of Roger Ailes – a mini-series which explores the Fox News sexual harassment scandal that led to Ailes’ dismissal last summer.

It’s bad enough for Rupert that his friend/Fox News co-founder will be the subject of a high-profile sexual harassment drama (especially given the current claims of misconduct surrounding Fox host Bill O’Reilly).

It’s compounded by the fact that the show’s source material is reportage from New York Magazine (a publication once owned by Rupert Murdoch).

But the cherry on top? Showtime has a deal with Sky to air their new programmes. Which means that Murdoch is going to have to broadcast the show here in the UK – on his very own channel.

Stephen Sondheim used to set the crossword puzzles in New York Magazine in the late 1960s.
>> Silly burgers <<
Keith in the community
 

Following in the esteemed footsteps of David Van Day, Keith Allen is getting into the burger flipping business. He’s opening up a diner-style restaurant in Stroud, and is currently elbow deep in the renovations.

Keith is a bit of a fixture on the Stroud scene. Neighbours remember with fondness the time he compered a gig at one of the local pubs. He did a fine job, but the bit people loved most with when he forgot that his mic was still on and went upstairs to get stuck into (what sounded like) a huge line of coke.

See Keith in his DIY gear:
http://bit.ly/2oCdZAf

Popbitch’s favourite Turkish tattoo artist? Anıl Oral of the Manastir Parlour in Kadikoy.
>> Theatrical exit <<
The show can’t go on
 

Obviously there’s never a great time to drop down dead, but the demise of Tim Pigott-Smith has really put the tin lid on an ill-starred production of Death Of A Salesman in Northampton.

During rehearsals earlier this month, Tim fell out with one of the actors in the cast. This same actor then (completely accidentally) broke Mrs Piggot-Smith’s femur while the two of them were rehearsing a scene.

She went to hospital, and the previews were pushed back two days while her understudy could be drafted in.

However, this incident rather inflamed the tension on set and in order for Tim to agree to continue starring in the play, the other actor had to be paid off. For the entire run.

Then, three days before the show was finally due to open – with one actor let go and another in hospital with a broken leg – Tim died.

Incidentally, the theatre’s artistic director was one James Dacre. Son of Paul.
>> Birds of a feather <<
…work together
 

Remember Ben Thatcher? The former Man City defender who attacked Portsmouth midfielder Pedro Mendes so badly that he got himself investigated by the police? He’s now head of football talent at a renowned media agency.

M&C Saatchi, to be precise. The agency famously set up by Charles Saatchi.

What an extraordinarily good fit!

A YouGov poll this week found that just over a quarter of UKIP voters think that sex with animals should not be illegal.
>> Clubbed to death <<
D’ya wanna be in our gang?
 

Once a private members club that would pride itself on its strict admissions policy, the Groucho Club has now got people cold-calling around theatreland to drum up members. One club habitué was rather surprised to get a phone call last week asking if they fancied membership to the Groucho as they could do them a special deal.

Planning a summer holiday? It’s got to be worth going to see that Cristiano Ronaldo sculpture – this takes you there:
http://bit.ly/2oWZJTo
>> Hmmms <<
Badgers, baboons, funk
 

Ottercam!
http://bit.ly/2pu5FzF

Someone’s opened up a Badger vs Baboon themed guest house in Ibiza:
http://bit.ly/2o6s8l7

Speaking of which, we fancy the badger’s chances a lot more after seeing this:
http://bit.ly/2pbvGEu

The world’s funkiest records?
http://bit.ly/2nF5apK

Local news story of the week:
http://bit.ly/2p6cDOQ

If you’ve not yet heard the half hour re-edit of George Michael’s Fastlove, do it:
http://bit.ly/2p6jKq9

Drones filming people boning (NSFW):
http://www.droneboning.com

Mexican dogs eating ice cream:
http://reut.rs/2o8YxIL

Thanks to: JK, HC, SG, AM, AP, FH, DB, deep_stoat, IM, PK, JE, SM, DA, JD, theincrediblemale, NE, EM
Old Jokes Home:
Q/ Why was the buck rabbit thrown out of the square dance?
A/ He was caught doing a dosey-doe in the corner.Still Bored?
Automation taking jobs again; there’s a new sex doll only brothel in Barcelona:
http://www.lumidolls.com/en/

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