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Fans of Scandi Noir, rejoice! Saga Noren is coming to London. See Sofia Helm, who plays her in The Bridge, discuss the show with Mariella Frostrop, 11th September at the How To Academy. VIP tickets available. All details here: http://www.howtoacademy.com/talks/scandi-noir-with-saga-noren-3188
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“If Simon [Cowell] is gay, someone forgot to tell his penis” – Sinitta
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|_| |_| 07.08.14 ISSUE 702
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To send stories email: hello@popbitch.com
* Sophie’s tight fist
* Eurovision goes gayer
* Charts: Nico and Vinz are number one
>> Cruise control <<
Tall order from Harrods
It will come as no surprise to learn that when Tom Cruise goes to Harrods his people have the whole store closed down for his benefit. But what also happens is that all of the female members of staff who are taller than him are sent home.
These unlucky female giants are also given some fairly stern warnings to never let on why they were sent home that day.
Daryl Hall (of ‘and Oates’ fame) is married to George Osborne’s cousin. (Amanda Aspinall’s dad was the half-brother of George’s uncle.)
>> Big Questions <<
Who is asking what this week
Who would you say was the biggest cunt you ever worked with? Two BBC producers asked that question came up with the same answer: “Nicky Campbell”
Apple is cutting around 200 jobs at Beats Electronics, according to the NY Post. About 40% of the workforce.
>> Intervisionary <<
Could Eurovision get any gayer?
Notorious heterosexual Vladimir Putin is looking to revive Russia’s own Eurovision spin-off, Intervision, later this year after Russian politicians claimed Conchita Wurst has turned the European competition into “a hotbed of sodomy”.
Although we welcome any song contest that will allow Japan, Kyrgyzstan and Belarus to go head-to-head, we can’t help but feel that his reasons are a little disingenuous. Especially in light of the news from Pornhub this week that Russia is, proportionally speaking, the nation most likely to search the internet for anal porn.
And where is Putin looking to host it? Sochi – which you’ll remember as the host city of the totally gay-free Winter Olympics.
Good luck, Vlad!
More disappointment for the Secret Cinema earlybirds. We hear a rumour that Jarvis Cocker was supposed to be performing over the cancelled opening weekend.
>> Model behaviour <<
Sophie Demanderton’s tight fist
It must be hard adjusting to life as an ex-celeb. After your star has faded, how are you supposed to get all of the free shit that brands once used to throw at you? Well, if you’re Sophie Anderton you get your PA to try to rustle up some swag for you. This week, she has been dutifully emailing the sales team at Elle magazine, trying to cadge her boss a free subscription.
FYI: A subscription to Elle costs £18. Back when she was working as a celebrity prostitute, Sophie’s hourly rate (£15k p/h) would have cleared that in four seconds.
Robert Plant spotted taking part in a fossil hunting expedition in Lyme Regis last weekend.
>> Riggy Gervais <<
Desperate celebs, pt. II
For a multi-award-winning millionaire, Ricky Gervais seemed oddly determined to win the radiotimes.com TV Champion 2014 award last week. He was tweeting about it constantly, trying to get his fans to vote for him on the magazine’s internet poll.
Not that you’d know if you checked his timeline now. After he lost out to Benedict Cumberbatch and David Tennant (both of whom kept a dignified silence about the contest) Gervais promptly deleted his desperate pleas.
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Frugl is a new events discovery app for people that like free and cheap stuff to do in London. It is completely free to download for iPhones from here: https://itunes.apple.com/gb/app/frugl/id829845786?mt=8
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>> The curse of Cape Verde <<
It’s all bad news for Z-listers
We recently advised you to avoid the Melia Tortuga on Cape Verde as its PR strategy seemed to be based around getting the most Z-list celebs they could find and getting them photo-storied at the hotel. Well, now there’s now another reason to avoid it. The place is obviously cursed.
Take a look at what has happened to the four stars involved:
* Katie Price – Husband has affairs
* Danielle Lloyd – Marriage breaks up
* Kerry Katona – Fiance flies into a ‘roid rage
* Lydia Bright – Who?
Would you take the chance?
RIP 52 year old Christian Falk, the Swedish record producer behind Neneh Cherry and Youssou N’Dour’s 7 Seconds.
>> Scandipopbits <<
Summer Swede-ness
* THE GOOD: Sa’ra Charismata – Gold Digga.
Sa’ra is a Swedish singer of Eritrean heritage and Gold Digga is odd, haunting, lovely.
* THE NOT SO GOOD: Anders Nilsen – Salsa Tequila.
While we applaud the attempt to do novelty summer pop, this faux Spanish number sounds just too knowing. But fans of What The Fox Say will probably get something from it.
Norwegian football minnows FL Fart have been left about £375,000 (4 million krone) after a 91-year-old fan, Erling Andreassen, left them all his possessions.
>> Stopping out <<
How the art crew keeps safe
The new V&A exhibition, Disobedient Objects, showcases a collection of artifacts associated with famous protest movements. The museum sent their curators to hot-spots of the world to get them, like Egypt and Libya. Obviously in sending people to such troubled spots making sure no-one got kidnapped was high on the list. To that end they issued all the curators with a super high-tech preventative device to ensure nobody could break into their hotel room at night.
A doorstop.
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The One Stage season, this Autumn, St James Theatre, London. Three plays from rising star producers. Kicking off with Breeders, a new comedy with Tamzin Outhwaite, followed by a new version of Uncle Vanya by Anya Reiss and closing with critically acclaimed thriller Accolade. Win a pair of tickets to your play choice here with code “Popbitch”: http://www.hotticketoffers.com/competition/onestage
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>> Hmmms <<
Balls, dog tongues, monkeys
Thanks to Osher Gunsberg for taking time off presenting The Bachelor Australia to host our first Sydney Quiz last week. As well as TV, Osher hosts a series of podcasts. We loved the one with Courtney Act from RuPaul’s Drag Race:
http://oshergunsberg.com
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Thanks also to: danceswithmustelids, MP, ME, NW, monstris, LMES, GO
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Old Jokes Home:
Q/ What’s the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?
A/ I wouldn’t pay £100 to have a lentil on my face.
Still Bored:
Want to play in Popbitch’s Fantasy Premier League? Joining the league couldn’t be easier. Simply use this link and you’ll be added automatically after you’ve entered the game:
http://fantasy.premierleague.com/my-leagues/200812/join/?autojoin-code=828626-200812
