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Ever wondered what love with a UKIP superstar would be like? Jane Bussmann did…”‘Godfrey!’, I breathed,
reaching for his purple face, unable to control my rising passion any longer… one hot July, so hot our mingling sweat evaporated like beef juice off a doner kebab…” For the full love story all you need is an iPad:
http://bit.ly/1bexc8Y
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“Everywhere I go, people are nice to me. But that horse, he didn’t care” – Dappy
POPBITCH _ _ _ _
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|_| |_| 09.01.14 ISSUE 672
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* Hitting out at Twitter
* A very Murray Christmas
* Charts: Pharrell is number one
>> Front row <<
Sitting next to the Joneses
The CBB housemates who know who Liz Jones is will no doubt be trying their hardest to keep in her good books so they don’t get a pasting in her inevitable post-show columns, but they may already be doomed. As one woman who worked on a fashion mag said:
“I sat next to Liz Jones at a fashion show in Paris. I said hello; she ignored me. Next week she wrote a piece about how vile fashion people are”.
shagpile_perm writes: “A FOF slept with Spencer Matthews. He asked her to repeat his name constantly.”
>> Bag it up <<
Hitting out at Twitter
The new series of Sherlock has been drawing mixed reviews on social media. It’s not escaped the notice of the people who worked on the series. One of them has been spotted at his gym taking out his frustrations on the punchbag.
He calls the punchbag “Twitter”.
Someone who helped Piers Morgan move house says one of the stranger items they carried was a life-size cardboard cut-out of… Piers Morgan!
>> Murray Christmas <<
Tis the season to be jolly(ish)
Christmas is a time to eat, drink and be merry. Even famous grumps like Andy Murray can’t fight it. His Christmas Eve dinner with his Ma consisted of a rare fillet steak with no accompaniments, no dessert and only cranberry juice to drink. Judy had one glass of white wine and the pair of them shared a single smile.
Zachary Quinto gets lost in translation in this month’s Empire: “I was always bummed when my brother and I would play together…”
>> The White attitude <<
Cooking up a storm in Dubai
Marco Pierre White has just opened a new venue in the Conrad Hotel, Dubai. One of his earliest bookings was a corporate dinner for 200.
He arrived an hour before service having left everything to staff. During the meal he refused to speak to anyone and sat with his back to the room.
So this is what 100GBP a head gets you these days.
BBC kids show Ben and Holly has a spoof Boris Johnson character in it as Mayor.
>> Close to the hedge <<
Fergie’s Christmas surprise
The royal family really don’t like Sarah Ferguson. A few years ago Fergie was spending Christmas in a cottage on the edges of the grounds of Sandringham (she has been banned from turning up to the big house festivities that the rest of her family attends).
All alone in the cottage, she rang the royal household to complain that a Christmas tree hadn’t been supplied. An aide promised one would be sent over. And indeed it was. A truck duly arrived, and Fergie’s tree came sailing right over the hedge.
Gyles Brandreth was spotted at Brasserie Zedel, wearing a crown made of napkins in order to cadge a free meal.
>> Death duties <<
Catching up on the fallen
qm writes:
“In the obit for Simon Hoggart the Guardian noted ‘Though devoted to his family, he was not endowed for a gentle harmonious life by the fireside’- a reference to his dalliance with Kimberley Quinn.
“It fails to mention that the week after the story broke Hoggart was hosting The News Quiz. Fearing that the contestants would tear him to pieces Hoggart nullified the situation by having his wife and family sit in the front row of the audience.”
RIP 2: Phil Everly inspired Warren Zevon, who was his musical director, to write Werewolves of London.
RIP 3: John Fortune. The second best-received old boy to return to Bristol Cathedral School (behind Julian Close from Red “Lean On Me” Box, we’re told).
>> Nought again <<
Pop will repeat itself
Looks like we’re going to be subjected to a noughties revival in 2014.
* MC Luck and DJ Neat playing Dalston this weekend; Brixton next weekend.
* Craig David’s new album PR onslaught has begun.
AND
* Oxide and Neutrino are back! (Quarks and Leptons EP. Nice but not a hugely new direction.)
West Ham’s Sam Allardyce is the 13th best paid football manager in the world.
>> Hmms <<
Bacon, cheetos, porn
Inside the most popular porn cinema in Pakistan:
http://bit.ly/1aJCES6
Man tries to hump everything on the train – including the drinks trolley:
http://bit.ly/1hyNQsC
Someone’s made a list of the best 100 apps for kids so you didn’t have to:
http://bit.ly/1dhYEtk
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Thanks to: meow, HC, soapy_handerton, majicman, SG, KP, LMES, deep_stoat, Ourmaninkabul, BK, mrsix, AM
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Old Jokes Home:
It took huge bravery for Thomas Hitzlsperger to make that statement. Admitting that he’d played for West Ham.
Still Bored:
Got an iPad? Skint after Xmas? Popbitch 2013 Annual is FREE. And has the cutest baby panda and wallaby pics ever:
http://bit.ly/1bexc8Y
