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Locker Room Talk

 

 El Gato runs these streets, Lee Ryan’s pizza tips and Despacito is No 1 again
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“My son is a high-quality person and I applaud his transparency” – Donald Trump

“I’m not Obi Wan Kenobi in charge of the Death Star” – Mike Ashley

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* Ready, Haim, Fired
* El Gato runs these streets
* Charts: Despacito v DJ Khaled for No 1
>> Rock the vote <<
President and Senator Rock
 

Of all the unforgivable things Donald Trump has done in the last two years, the most unforgivable is kicking the door open for other celeb-types to enter politics.

Sizeable bets are already being placed on The Rock to be the US President in 2020, with Mark Zuckerberg and Kanye also thought to be keen on running. But it looks like celebs are not just taking over the top of the ticket.

Kid Rock is running for Senate in Michigan – against Democrat incumbent Debbie Stabenow.

http://www.kidrockforsenate.com

Every time Uri Geller meets a VIP, he bends a spoon for them which he then takes home and sticks to his big silver car.
>> Vanishing Jack <<
More locker room talk
 

After November’s election result, someone who organised a monthly event at Trump’s Bedminster Golf Club decided to make a stand – and switched all his bookings to a different venue.

Soon after he had done so, the event organiser was most surprised to receive a handwritten letter from the president-elect himself, begging him to keep his bookings at the golf club.

Even though he wasn’t a member, the letter promised a whole load of extras to entice him back. Trump offered him his own locker at the club – free of charge. And not only that, but it would be in a prized position: next to the locker of none other than Jack Nicholson!

Not especially convinced, but a little intrigued, he made some enquiries at the golf club about Jack Nicholson’s membership. Only to be told that, no, famous Hollywood Democrat Jack Nicholson wasn’t a member, but Donald Trump had written a similar letter to Mr Nicholson offering him a locker at the golf club too.

(And no, Jack didn’t go for it either.)

Donald Trump Jr’s lawyer is the bass-trombonist of the Park Avenue Chamber Symphony.
>> Big Questions <<
Who’s asking what this week?
 

On a flight to Australia back in the late 80s/early 90s, one traveller got talking to a now-deceased Tory MP. The conversation resulted in the politician asking for some tips for Sydney entertainment. The guy gave him a list of restaurants and bars and, just for fun, he handed the Tory MP a business card bearing the details of his favourite gay brothel as they deplaned.

He thought nothing of it but a couple of weeks later the guy got a call from the owner of the brothel. Anticipating a telling off for not having paid a visit yet he explained, “Sorry. I just haven’t had time, but I will drop in before I leave.”

“That’s not why I’m calling,” said his old friend. “I just wanted to thank you for introducing the guy you met on the plane. He’s been in every day…”

The question is: who? Answers to stuff@popbitch.com

Gangnam Style by Psy is no longer the most viewed music video on YouTube. It’s now See You Again by Wiz Khalifa and Charlie Puth.
>> Chancelled <<
Saving for a rainy day
 

It’s become a chummy little joke that multi-millionaire former MP George Osborne is taking up any old job that isn’t nailed down at the moment – but no-one seems to have stopped to ask why.

Why would a man who earns £650,000 for 48 days work a year as an advisor to BlackRock need to edit a London newspaper too? Why would a man who earned £628,000 giving speeches last year need to teach a course in economics at the University of Manchester?

Colleagues at the Evening Standard are telling everyone who’ll listen that he’s going to need every penny. Divorce can be a very expensive business these days…

Lobby hacks more used to seeing government plots and backbiting are heartwarmed by just how well Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson seems to be getting on with Theresa May’s former adviser Fiona Hill.
>> Thick stunt <<
He knows what he likes
 

Petra Ecclestone’s soon-to-be-ex-husband is fast becoming one of our favourite people.James Stunt visited a Mayfair art gallery (with a four-car strong entourage) and became very interested in one of the paintings on show. It was of a zebra. “How much for the giraffe picture?” he asked. The curator, knowing better than to correct a potential customer, played along and gave him a price.

Stunt bought it, for quite a large sum, and continually referred to it as “the giraffe painting”.

FYI: The business Stunt has always claimed made him a fortune? Art dealing…

LOSE WEIGHT WITHOUT WILLPOWER: Popbitch readers have been loving Slimpod… “From the first listen things changed. My attitude to what I’m eating – and how much – have been turned upside down…I’m thrilled.” The promo code POPBITCH gets you 20% off any programme.
http://www.thinkingslimmer.com/
>> Catfights <<
Watch out, Chairman Meow
 

While it seems that the infighting and brawling within the Labour party has died down a bit in the last few weeks, the problems haven’t ended for Jeremy Corbyn.

His cat, El Gato, is still trying to run the mean streets of Islington North, by beating up all the neighborhood cats and refusing to share its food.

Corbyn has tried to reason with the cat (literally on one occasion saying “That’s not very socialist, El Gato” to it) but it’s apparently falling on deaf ears.

Johnny Depp tried to get a selfie with Corbyn at Glastonbury but it was thought that it wasn’t “a good look”.
>> Poos of the world <<
More celebrity crappers
 

Big Ben writes:
“Iain Duncan Smith has a downstairs loo decorated with every nasty cartoon and headline from his troubled period as leader of the Tories. It’s literally a shit room.”

Dave Grohl’s Studio 606 in LA uses one of those MTV VMA astronaut awards as a bogroll holder.
>> Bad press <<
Ready, Haim, Fired
 

Paranoia about the media appears to be catching in the US, and pop group Haim are starting to get quite the reputation among journalists.

One hack was actually in the air on the way to LA when the band pulled out of doing the profile. Another had their interview rearranged five times on two continents before ultimately being cancelled. (They take revenge in a one star album review this week.)

Haim’s team also knocked back one photographer from a shoot because their background in shooting rap and rock bands meant they queried how well he’d be able to do justice to a female band.

All this despite their wide critical acclaim and a new album at number one in the midweeks. No wonder the PRs for the new album have already quit.

Kylie’s recent fiancé Joshua Sasse was born in the same month she released I Should Be So Lucky.
>> Cock block <<
Dating advice for the stars
 

Now Jamie Redknapp seems to be back on the market he might want to take notice of what one of his conquests has been telling friends.

Namely that wearing those super-tight suits has meant his cock is a little more, er, how shall we say… “fragrant” than women tend to enjoy.

Lee Ryan has been loudly giving restaurant recommendations to people on Marylebone High Street. (He really loves pizza, by the way.)
>> Old friends <<
Emin: a blast from the past
 

One of the strangest things to emerge out of the whole Donald Trump Jr imbroglio is the fact that the Russian business contact who advised him to meet the Russian lawyer stooge to talk Clinton dirt was Emin Agalarov.

The son of a Russian oligarch and the ex-son-in-law of the President of Azerbaijan, Emin had but one burning desire: to take his minor pop career in Russia and turn it into fame in the USA and UK.

Back in 2010 we got to hang out with Emin for a while, when he was in London making and releasing an album over here. It’s kinda weird that the Russian who might cause the downfall of the Trumps is the same guy we saw belting out a bad cover of a Nick Carter solo track in the ballroom of the Savoy while the hotel’s fire alarm raged around us (it was a pretty weird night) – but here we are…

Watch Emin discuss his record collection (and his passion for Sade) with us.
[See on YouTube]

THIS WEEK’S MEDIA MASTERS PODCAST: Ian Bremmer, Editor-at-Large TIME magazine, on how Trump, Brexit, the refugee crises and ISIS are making this the worst geopolitical environment since World War II
[Listen/Download at Media Masters]
>> Hmmms <<
Big Bird, Glamma Kid, otters
 

Sesame Street takes on the Beastie Boys’ Sabotage
[See on YouTube]

8th August is the Popbitch Summer Quiz.
[Tickets and info here]

Local news of the week
[Read on Birmingham Mail]

Good otter!
[See on Twitter]

Bad otter!
[See on Bozeman Daily Chronicle]

Revisiting Glamma Kid
[Read on Noisey]

Thanks to: SM, LB, G, Rafer Janders, RN, AM, RR, DB, theabominablehoman, CE, DM, SJ

 

 

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