Locker Room Talk

“My son is a high-quality person and I applaud his transparency” – Donald Trump

“I’m not Obi Wan Kenobi in charge of the Death Star” – Mike Ashley

Of all the unforgivable things Donald Trump has done in the last two years, the most unforgivable is kicking the door open for other celeb-types to enter politics.

Sizeable bets are already being placed on The Rock to be the US President in 2020, with Mark Zuckerberg and Kanye also thought to be keen on running. But it looks like celebs are not just taking over the top of the ticket.

Kid Rock is running for Senate in Michigan – against Democrat incumbent Debbie Stabenow.

http://www.kidrockforsenate.com

After November’s election result, someone who organised a monthly event at Trump’s Bedminster Golf Club decided to make a stand – and switched all his bookings to a different venue.

Soon after he had done so, the event organiser was most surprised to receive a handwritten letter from the president-elect himself, begging him to keep his bookings at the golf club.

Even though he wasn’t a member, the letter promised a whole load of extras to entice him back. Trump offered him his own locker at the club – free of charge. And not only that, but it would be in a prized position: next to the locker of none other than Jack Nicholson!

Not especially convinced, but a little intrigued, he made some enquiries at the golf club about Jack Nicholson’s membership. Only to be told that, no, famous Hollywood Democrat Jack Nicholson wasn’t a member, but Donald Trump had written a similar letter to Mr Nicholson offering him a locker at the golf club too.

(And no, Jack didn’t go for it either.)

On a flight to Australia back in the late 80s/early 90s, one traveller got talking to a now-deceased Tory MP. The conversation resulted in the politician asking for some tips for Sydney entertainment. The guy gave him a list of restaurants and bars and, just for fun, he handed the Tory MP a business card bearing the details of his favourite gay brothel as they deplaned.

He thought nothing of it but a couple of weeks later the guy got a call from the owner of the brothel. Anticipating a telling off for not having paid a visit yet he explained, “Sorry. I just haven’t had time, but I will drop in before I leave.”

“That’s not why I’m calling,” said his old friend. “I just wanted to thank you for introducing the guy you met on the plane. He’s been in every day…”

The question is: who? Answers to stuff@popbitch.com

It’s become a chummy little joke that multi-millionaire former MP George Osborne is taking up any old job that isn’t nailed down at the moment – but no-one seems to have stopped to ask why.

Why would a man who earns £650,000 for 48 days work a year as an advisor to BlackRock need to edit a London newspaper too? Why would a man who earned £628,000 giving speeches last year need to teach a course in economics at the University of Manchester?

Colleagues at the Evening Standard are telling everyone who’ll listen that he’s going to need every penny. Divorce can be a very expensive business these days…